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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 20:27   #1
IncubusGod
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Things not to find on your doorstep in the morning:
#1 : A dead body

#2: WHO CARES I ALREADY FOUND #1 THIS MORNING.

While letting my dog out the front for a run this morning I found a dead guy on the path outside my house.

I was kinda weirded out,I mean, was this a new service? Did I have to pay for it? The first thing that popped into my mind was to get my dog inside before he pissed on the poor deceased guy.

Second was a scene from pulp fiction that ran through my head and so I checked my lawn for a sign that said "Dead Guy Storage"...

Third was how much this would affect the re-sale value of my property.

Fourth was "Erm...better get someone up here to take care of this"
I decided against calling Mr.Wolf and utilising his body removing skills and opted instead for the more freak out and call the cops approach.

All joking aside it's certainly not something you want to find while waiting for your toast to pop up.

Looks like an accidental overdose that did it...sometime in middle of the night when he for whatever reason decided to hang out around these houses.

All in all a pretty nasty morning.

Lets hope it wont start raining dead guys on my path any time soon and this is just an isolated incident.

I think this calls for a drink or seven tonight...
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 20:33   #2
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did you get his wallet?
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 20:35   #3
IncubusGod
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Methinks the cops and/or ambulance crew got that
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 20:39   #4
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Re: Things not to find on your doorstep in the morning:
Quote:
Originally posted by IncubusGod
Second was a scene from pulp fiction that ran through my head and so I checked my lawn for a sign that said "Dead Guy Storage"...

'dead n*gger storage' is the exact quote from pulp fiction actually
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 20:42   #5
IncubusGod
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Re: Re: Things not to find on your doorstep in the morning:
Quote:
Originally posted by SilverSmoke
'dead n*gger storage' is the exact quote from pulp fiction actually
I know...since this guy wasn't black I thought someone might have replaced the n*gger part with "guy"
I thought that if they had taken the time out to erect a sign they would have at LEAST made it fittingly accurate the the circumstanaces.
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 21:15   #6
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Re: Re: Re: Things not to find on your doorstep in the morning:
Quote:
Originally posted by IncubusGod
I know...since this guy wasn't black I thought someone might have replaced the n*gger part with "guy"
I thought that if they had taken the time out to erect a sign they would have at LEAST made it fittingly accurate the the circumstanaces.
you should have put up a sign that said "dead ****** storage" before the police arrive.

the fact that he was white would have made it funnier. you could have said "you know, whereever you set your limits, people will always push you one inch farther." then you all could have had a weirdly excessive laugh together, much like the end of a 70s kung fu flick.
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 21:15   #7
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I have one question: Did you burn your toast?
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 21:22   #8
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I wondered where I left him...
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 21:28   #9
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 21:54   #10
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Jammers has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Its not as bad as finding a small child who's parents have abandoned it.
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 23:08   #11
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woah
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 23:17   #12
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how did you know he was dead and not just in a deep sleep??? did you check for a pulse or just kick him? id have kicked him.
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Unread 10 Jul 2003, 23:50   #13
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that is rather harsh
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Unread 11 Jul 2003, 00:39   #14
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Things to find on your doorstep
A nice jiffy bag containing CDs which you loaned to someone months ago and are NOT ****ING PARTICULARLY patiently waiting to be returned to you because 3 MONTHS IS LONG ENOUGH AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO **** ON ME AND EXPECT ME TO REMAIN YOUR FRIEND AT LEAST GIVE ME 2 SECONDS CONSIDERATION IT'S NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT THE CDS YOU KNOW IT'S ABOUT WHETHER I RETAIN ANY RESPECT FOR YOU AS A HUMAN BEING OR PUT YOU INTO THE 'USELESS NOT WORTH SPEAKING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM IN FACT NO EVEN BETTER RIP HIS BOLLOCKS OFF' CATEGORY.
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Unread 11 Jul 2003, 00:48   #15
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Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Sarina_Joy
A nice jiffy bag containing CDs which you loaned to someone months ago and are NOT ****ING PARTICULARLY patiently waiting to be returned to you because 3 MONTHS IS LONG ENOUGH AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO **** ON ME AND EXPECT ME TO REMAIN YOUR FRIEND AT LEAST GIVE ME 2 SECONDS CONSIDERATION IT'S NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT THE CDS YOU KNOW IT'S ABOUT WHETHER I RETAIN ANY RESPECT FOR YOU AS A HUMAN BEING OR PUT YOU INTO THE 'USELESS NOT WORTH SPEAKING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM IN FACT NO EVEN BETTER RIP HIS BOLLOCKS OFF' CATEGORY.
now you did it. she's pissed.
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Unread 11 Jul 2003, 09:13   #16
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Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by NEWSBOT3
now you did it. she's pissed.
god no...
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Unread 11 Jul 2003, 16:31   #17
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Unread 11 Jul 2003, 17:15   #18
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Heh, i would be pretty shocked if i found a dead body outside my house, myself.
But, you should have gotten his wallet
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 12:54   #19
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Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Sarina_Joy
A nice jiffy bag containing CDs which you loaned to someone months ago and are NOT ****ING PARTICULARLY patiently waiting to be returned to you because 3 MONTHS IS LONG ENOUGH AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO **** ON ME AND EXPECT ME TO REMAIN YOUR FRIEND AT LEAST GIVE ME 2 SECONDS CONSIDERATION IT'S NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT THE CDS YOU KNOW IT'S ABOUT WHETHER I RETAIN ANY RESPECT FOR YOU AS A HUMAN BEING OR PUT YOU INTO THE 'USELESS NOT WORTH SPEAKING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM IN FACT NO EVEN BETTER RIP HIS BOLLOCKS OFF' CATEGORY.
*blink blink*

Im sensing that this doesnt have much to do with the dead body.......right?
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:00   #20
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Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by plasmas_arms
*blink blink*

Im sensing that this doesnt have much to do with the dead body.......right?
she's pissed at MrL still for dumping her ass
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:02   #21
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Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Billy Joel Osmond that important to you Sar ?
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:02   #22
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Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Ragnarak
she's pissed at MrL still for dumping her ass
on IncubusGod's lawn?
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:05   #23
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Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Ragnarak
she's pissed at MrL still for dumping her ass
And doing a runner with her CD collection.

MrL is a heartbreaker.
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:06   #24
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Radical Edward
on IncubusGod's lawn?
that would explain the dead guy

especially if he looked a bit flat :p
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:06   #25
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by MrBrick
And doing a runner with her CD collection.

MrL is a heartbreaker.
quoted so when it's changed again both have to be edited
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:07   #26
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by MrBrick
And doing a runner with her CD collection.
Well I imagine that would be a bit irksome.
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:08   #27
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Ragnarak
that would explain the dead guy

especially if he looked a bit flat
well I wanted to bring the conversation back on topic.
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:13   #28
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Radical Edward
well I wanted to bring the conversation back on topic.
Why in the name of holy montanna would you want to do that?!?!?!
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:18   #29
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by plasmas_arms
Well I imagine that would be a bit irksome.
You've been waiting to use that word for quite some time, haven't you?
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:20   #30
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Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Ragnarak
she's pissed at MrL still for dumping her ass
No.

I'm annoyed at MrL for not having returned my CDs yet. Having given me little consideration either during our relationship or in the way he broke up with me I had hoped he might do a little better in this department after we split, especially as he was so keen to 'remain friends'
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:23   #31
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I get the distinct feeling that MrL and "his end" are often "gotten away".
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:23   #32
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by MrBrick
You've been waiting to use that word for quite some time, haven't you?
Which word?

If you mean 'irksome' I am afraid I use that far too often
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:25   #33
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by plasmas_arms
Which word?

If you mean 'irksome' I am afraid I use that far too often
oooooooh

get you.
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:27   #34
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by Sarina_Joy
No.

I'm annoyed at MrL for not having returned my CDs yet. Having given me little consideration either during our relationship or in the way he broke up with me I had hoped he might do a little better in this department after we split, especially as he was so keen to 'remain friends'
Always be reassured by the fact that my love life is much worse than yours and I too had my CD's (jeans,shirts,books and other things) nicked by the two timing bitch whore....I mean charming young girl I was until recently 'with' .

I still have not found that redhead either and Im running out of ice cream cones (
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:29   #35
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by plasmas_arms

I still have not found that redhead either and Im running out of ice cream cones (
aren't ice cream cones a bit erm 'small'
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:32   #36
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by plasmas_arms
Always be reassured by the fact that my love life is much worse than yours and I too had my CD's (jeans,shirts,books and other things) nicked by the two timing bitch whore....I mean charming young girl I was until recently 'with' .

I still have not found that redhead either and Im running out of ice cream cones (

Redheads are ten a penny. I'll find you a woman in the Cathouse. This may involve dancing...
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:34   #37
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by Ragnarak
aren't ice cream cones a bit erm 'small'
1: Depends on what you use them for.

2:Sarah I am now going next door to the butchers, buying a dead rabbit, scanning it and emailing you the image for failing to meet my demands (the reply to PM demand not the other ones)

3. Does it involve me dancing or you dancing?
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:34   #38
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it may also involve going to the cathouse.

ohno.
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:37   #39
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by plasmas_arms
Why in the name of holy montanna would you want to do that?!?!?!
novelty value.

and now wildly off topic:

I am disappointed that MrBrick closed his thread before I could reply with "no problem" to his quest for StarCom toys.
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 13:40   #40
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
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Originally posted by plasmas_arms
1: Depends on what you use them for.

2:Sarah I am now going next door to the butchers, buying a dead rabbit, scanning it and emailing you the image for failing to meet my demands (the reply to PM demand not the other ones)

3. Does it involve me dancing or you dancing?
I only just got your PM hunnybun. The answer is YES.

And it involves both of us dancing, although mainly you as it's you who's on the pull.
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 14:42   #41
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Things to find on your doorstep
Quote:
Originally posted by Sarina_Joy
I only just got your PM hunnybun. The answer is YES.

And it involves both of us dancing, although mainly you as it's you who's on the pull.
1: My psychic powers are on the fritz again so 'details' of some sort would be much loved

2: Its not so much that I 'dont' dance as it is I 'cant' dance, perhaps money/drinks/drugs would be a better approach for myself on 'the pull'

3: Contrary to the rest of scotlands (possibly the worlds) male population I dont 'go on the pull' as much as I 'stand around looking lost' .

4: The butchers shop was all out of dead bunnies
Quote:
We just sold our last one half hour go, sonny
....... Which in and of itself is a bit of a concern as I was not aware that Maryhill had a high demand for dead bunnies.

5: Holy **** on a stick its hot today, how is Oban?
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Unread 14 Jul 2003, 22:52   #42
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I can't dance either. It doesn't stop me. I don't go on the pull either. I prefer to stand around getting drunk and bitching about all the slutty women I see around me (one of which you will be pulling).
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Unread 15 Jul 2003, 00:26   #43
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i think its quite horrible that we, GD as a whole went off topic this much in this way considering the nature of the thread
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Unread 15 Jul 2003, 13:36   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sarina_Joy
(one of which you will be pulling).

Fine. If I have to .
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Unread 15 Jul 2003, 14:07   #45
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Fine. If I have to .
Just remember the Crying Game.
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Unread 15 Jul 2003, 14:10   #46
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Quote:
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Just remember the Crying Game.
I'll take whatever I can get tyvm.


Every holes a goal and all that
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