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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 01:09   #1
Demon Dave
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Children
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Hun
Things you learn from Children

For those with No children---this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age---this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age---this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age---this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children---this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-sq. ft. house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. (No matter how old the child!)
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.


#21 - 23 made me lol
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 01:11   #2
Boogster
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Re: Children
Those were some inventive children she had.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 01:14   #3
Androme
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Re: Children
The source please?
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 01:29   #4
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Re: Children
lol funny story
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 01:53   #5
Demon Dave
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Re: Children
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavius
bye bye
are you going somewhere then Flav?
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 01:56   #6
Marilyn Manson
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Question Re: Children
Please don't make references to dodgy or semi-dodgy sites, eh?
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 02:06   #7
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: Children
Hey, I'm not a desicated modding machine. I still have a heart. I'm still compassionate. A bit.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 02:31   #8
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: Children
If people want to slap a .com onto it, then it's their business. Not mine. It's not a porn link atm.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 03:09   #9
Demon Dave
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Re: Children
just out of curiosity, if i were to write "xyz dot com", would that count?
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 03:17   #10
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: Children
I'd advise you to take it away. Personally, though, it would depend upon the context of the thing.
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 04:01   #11
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Re: Children
This thread doesn't seem Dace-resistant
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 04:38   #12
Pyr0 MK III
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Re: Children
i'm off to voulanteer my cat to test #22
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 04:41   #13
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Re: Children
this thread fails to deliver in the dace like manner i was expecting
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Unread 7 Nov 2004, 04:48   #14
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Exclamation Re: Children
These are the sorts of mischief that kids often get into, but...
Quote:
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
...this one bothers me. Clorox and brake fluid are both highly toxic and probably should be locked up if you have young children around.
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The Ottawa Citizen and Southam News wish to apologize for our apology to Mark Steyn, published Oct. 22. In correcting the incorrect statements about Mr. Steyn published Oct. 15, we incorrectly published the incorrect correction. We accept and regret that our original regrets were unacceptable and we apologize to Mr. Steyn for any distress caused by our previous apology.
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