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16 Dec 2004, 16:01
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#1
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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hypothetical question
or interlinked questions....
1. would you still get into a relationship if you knew WHEN it was going to end, but not how.if you knew that if was going to finish in 5 weeks time... or 6 months... 0r 3 years... or 20 years etc
would it put you off?
2 would you still get into a relationship if you knew HOW it was going to end but not when, would it depend on thte circumstances? would you take the risk if you knew that it was going to end badly that you might be happy in the short term, even if you didnt know when it was going to end?
obviously these scenarios could never occur as it would need some rather seriously hampered foresight, but i was just wondering as im at work and sick of doing real work
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lazy
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16 Dec 2004, 16:10
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#2
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: hypothetical question
no and no .
1. no. why would i want to waste my time if i knew before hand he wasn't the one. i could miss the right one by choosing to be in a relationship that wouldn't work.
2. no. i don't want to get hurt. why would i put myself in a position to get hurt? also same as #1. why would i waste my time?
**ofc this applys only if these relationships are definitely going to end. if there's a chance of turning things around and making htem last then possibly i would.
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Where ever you go, there you are.
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16 Dec 2004, 16:20
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: hypothetical question
(1) depends on when it ended. If say, it ended in 80 years time, I can pretty much guess it ended because of a death, alternatively I would be too old to care, or I would be the one running off with a buxom 20 year old model.
(2) depends on how detailed the knowledge was.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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16 Dec 2004, 16:53
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#4
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a new low in getting high
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,810
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
1. would you still get into a relationship if you knew WHEN it was going to end, but not how.if you knew that if was going to finish in 5 weeks time... or 6 months... 0r 3 years... or 20 years etc
would it put you off?
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if i felt i had genuine feelings for the person, yes
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
2. would you still get into a relationship if you knew HOW it was going to end but not when, would it depend on thte circumstances? would you take the risk if you knew that it was going to end badly that you might be happy in the short term, even if you didnt know when it was going to end?
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if i felt i had genuine feelings for the person, yes
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There’s trouble on every corner,
And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.
We’re hitting a new low.
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16 Dec 2004, 16:56
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#5
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: hypothetical question
just thought of it really cos looking back, over the last couple of years, i have had some relationships that have gone fantastically wrong, and some that have laste longer than i thought that they ever would and others that have been cut short, but i dont think that i would change any of them, but would i have if i had known ahead of time how they were going to turn out
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lazy
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16 Dec 2004, 16:57
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#6
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: hypothetical question
Too tired to read, too tired to think.
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16 Dec 2004, 17:04
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#7
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Careless talk costs lives
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cardiff, UK
Posts: 170
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Re: hypothetical question
Watch Paycheck - answers the question.
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[19:13] <Keglomaniac> whats wrong with our intel?
[19:13] <bos|takeaway> its a contradiction in terms
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16 Dec 2004, 17:08
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#8
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loz
Watch Paycheck - answers the question.
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Hollywood, the solution, and cause of, all of life's problems.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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16 Dec 2004, 17:40
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#9
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: hypothetical question
i entered into a relationship where i ended up falling in love with the person. however in the long term we had absolutely no intention of getting married so presumably it was destined to end at some point...we thought end of uni...maybe after that. it began more as best friends 'getting together' but turned into something far bigger than that as the months went on.
altho other events have now pretty much ended it anyway sadly.
p.s.
im sad
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Forum Administrator
Mail : [email protected] // IRC : #forums
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It's not personal, it's just business.
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16 Dec 2004, 17:41
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#10
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: hypothetical question
Play
Khachaturian - Adagio of Spartacus and Phrygi
repeatedly and cry, cry with me JJ, cry.
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You're now playing ketchup
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16 Dec 2004, 17:45
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#11
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: hypothetical question
too hypothetical for me
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16 Dec 2004, 17:46
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#12
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: hypothetical question
its just that i think that its always worth the risk, even if it isnt going to be long term, but obviously a lot of other people think a different way. Just wondered what the people around here thought
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lazy
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16 Dec 2004, 17:49
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#13
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: hypothetical question
it is definitly worth the risk.
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Forum Administrator
Mail : [email protected] // IRC : #forums
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It's not personal, it's just business.
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16 Dec 2004, 18:00
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: hypothetical question
Surely I know all my relationships are going to end at some indefinite time in the future, given that I'm going to die at some point?
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16 Dec 2004, 18:01
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#15
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: hypothetical question
yes, but what if you knew WHEN they were going to end, but not why?
every relationship has to end eventually, but that wasnt what i was asking
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lazy
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16 Dec 2004, 18:02
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#16
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Surely I know all my relationships are going to end at some indefinite time in the future, given that I'm going to die at some point?
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Do you not intend on continuing your relationships in the afterlife brother?
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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16 Dec 2004, 18:10
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#17
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
yes, but what if you knew WHEN they were going to end, but not why?
every relationship has to end eventually, but that wasnt what i was asking
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Im confused.
Quote:
1. would you still get into a relationship if you knew WHEN it was going to end, but not how.if you knew that if was going to finish in 5 weeks time... or 6 months... 0r 3 years... or 20 years etc
would it put you off?
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I know when its going to end but I dont know if its going to end in 5 weeks or 20 years? That doesn't make sense.
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16 Dec 2004, 18:18
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#18
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: hypothetical question
To give you a serious answer, yes I would go out with someone even if I knew it was going to end. I don't see my life as being a progress towards some final destination, or some "plateau of happyness "to be possibly reached in old age. I don't base my choices on what will make me happy at some indefinite point in the future, although at the same time I'm obviously not going to do something that I think will have disasterous long-term consequences for me. If I'm in a relationship and it ends, that's ok - the time I spent in the relationship was well spent assuming that it contributed to my happyness while I was in it, and that it had a positive effect on me overall (rather than leaving me broken and shattered for instance). The only real issue would be time - if you break up with someone when you're 50, it's probably quite difficult to meet new people.
And anyway, if I knew it was going to end then I could just treat it casually and dump them without much hand-wringing if I met someone else.
As to 'how' it was going to end, it would depend entirely on the cicumstances. Obviously I'd be more likely to want a relationship which ended because I met someone better than one which ended with me getting my penis cut off or whatever. I'd be more interested in my mental state after it ended than in the particular details regarding the breakup though.
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16 Dec 2004, 19:13
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#19
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: hypothetical question
It's a bizarre belief we seem to sustain that relationships have to stem forever. If I spent five years with someone, had a wonderful time, learnt new things, grew as a person, etc - how on Earth would that be a waste?
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16 Dec 2004, 19:37
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#20
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I'm great!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Leeds
Posts: 388
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Re: hypothetical question
What is it they say? "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". I think that as long as you have fond memories and enjoyed the relationship, there is no reason not to go for it, whether it will end in 1 month or in 60 years.
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If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'da been married a long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?!
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16 Dec 2004, 19:43
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#21
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: hypothetical question
Some other people say 'Better to have got off your backside and done some shagging, than to have sat on an online forum discussing relationships.'
Not me, though, naturally.
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16 Dec 2004, 19:46
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#22
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: hypothetical question
the problem is that relationships do end (until you marry or whatnot) but you cant actually prepare for what it will feel like. i had always thought that breaking up would essentially be an easy process. however it was gut wrenchingly bad because i hadnt realised conciously how close id become.
its rarely a simple case of 'oh spent 2 years with someone knowing it would come hey ho nm eh?'
if life were that simple thered be fk all people broken by love and such.
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16 Dec 2004, 19:51
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#23
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
It's a bizarre belief we seem to sustain that relationships have to stem forever. If I spent five years with someone, had a wonderful time, learnt new things, grew as a person, etc - how on Earth would that be a waste?
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If it meant you missed out on being with someone who would make you grow more as a person, had a more wonderful time, learnt even more etc who you would be with for more than five years?
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If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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16 Dec 2004, 19:53
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#24
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by HAL-9000
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".
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What absolute bollocks this saying is.
I sure as hell wish I had never loved and lost, at least then I wouldn't have a fear of relationships and getting hurt.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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16 Dec 2004, 20:47
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#25
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
What absolute bollocks this saying is.
I sure as hell wish I had never loved and lost, at least then I wouldn't have a fear of relationships and getting hurt.
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oh i dont know, i have been hurt (many times, i never learn fs) but i still bounce back
actually, strangely, i have been hurt a lot, and i have hurt some people in my time (mentally not physically i hasten to add) and it is the hurting them more than the beeing hurt by them that i regret the most
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lazy
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16 Dec 2004, 21:14
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#26
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: hypothetical question
stew, when youve never loved, that saying means a lot.
do you have any idea how jealous i get of all those people falling in love? bastards.
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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16 Dec 2004, 21:17
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#27
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Twisted
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Down with the sickness
Posts: 2,484
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
What absolute bollocks this saying is.
I sure as hell wish I had never loved and lost, at least then I wouldn't have a fear of relationships and getting hurt.
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At the time I wished I'd never loved and lost. At the time I wish I'd just loved and kept on loving. Now I feel differently. Now I am with someone who loves me more, and who I love more, and whose love I will never have to question.
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Me
In my sleep I grind my teeth.
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16 Dec 2004, 21:27
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#28
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: hypothetical question
personally i do think the old adage of 'better to have loved and lost' etc is 'right'
if i had to make the choices again knowing that it would end like a car crash then yes i would do the same. because in years to come i wont remember the breakup....but i will still have all the memories of really great times and really happy moments. I dont think you can go through life thinking 'i have to find the woman i will spend the rest of my life with otherwise ill get hurt and it wont be worth it'
Love makes you a better person
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17 Dec 2004, 00:09
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#29
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nomen est omen
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 1,095
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Re: hypothetical question
I`d love to quote you all on this, but I`ve not the time time now. soz. I`m still reeling abit from two years ago from last relationship. oh dear! can take a while. JJ is right!!! LOVE NOW PPLS.
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Views expressed are those of the author and not of any company or organisation I am associated with. Electronic communication can be forged and the integrity of this message is not guaranteed.
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17 Dec 2004, 00:42
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#30
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: hypothetical question
Nothing hurts like love.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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17 Dec 2004, 00:55
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#31
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Cynical Optimist
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Solihull / University of Warwick
Posts: 502
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Nothing hurts like love.
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...or feels as good
Bit of a bastard really!
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17 Dec 2004, 01:07
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#32
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: hypothetical question
I'm "emotionally dead" so neither prospect would worry me.
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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17 Dec 2004, 01:26
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#33
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamMak
...or feels as good
Bit of a bastard really!
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crack
__________________
bastard bastard bastard bastard
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17 Dec 2004, 01:33
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#34
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: hypothetical question
GD GROUP HUG!
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17 Dec 2004, 01:41
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#35
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: hypothetical question
1. No and no. I would try to enjoy every second of it if I really loved the girl that I was going out with.
2. I'd take the risk. Any relationship has an end no matter how good or bad the ending is.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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17 Dec 2004, 01:41
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#36
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: hypothetical question
I got to touch leshy :)))
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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17 Dec 2004, 01:42
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#37
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
I got to touch leshy ))
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Fag.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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17 Dec 2004, 05:00
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#38
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Um....... Macros
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Scotland
Posts: 125
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Re: hypothetical question
man its the qualitity of your life that counts. If i knew that in both cases I would have a better life because of it then i would go ahead and go through it. And if anybody asks how would you know if you would have a better life please remember what questions were asked to start this thread
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17 Dec 2004, 06:52
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#39
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: hypothetical question
seems i took the question a bit differently from others. or i'm just a cold hearted bitch. anyway to expand on my first answer. i took it to mean if i knew the relationship would end in say 2 years. example a school thing. now yes i'd go have relationships in school. but i dont' do the casual sex thing. if i go with a per son it's cause i think it's going to last longer. if i knew that when school ended he'd be moving away or something and the relationship would end, then no i wouldn't go into it.
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Where ever you go, there you are.
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17 Dec 2004, 11:55
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#40
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: hypothetical question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
It's a bizarre belief we seem to sustain that relationships have to stem forever. If I spent five years with someone, had a wonderful time, learnt new things, grew as a person, etc - how on Earth would that be a waste?
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Exactly. I've gone into a few relationships, dubious as to whether "they were the one". But I don't regret any of them. They allowed me to grow as a person, they moulded my personality.
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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17 Dec 2004, 15:48
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#41
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I'm great!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Leeds
Posts: 388
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Re: hypothetical question
Baby
Love really hurts without you
Love really hurts without you
And it's breaking my heart
But what can I do?
Baby
Love really hurts without you
Love really hurts through and through
And it's breaking my heart
But what can I do without you?
__________________
If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'da been married a long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?!
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