I still here, I still bored.
GD Almanac - 2003
JANUARY
Belgarath The Sorceror is rushed in to hospital suffering from an itchy groin. He is diagnosed as being a woman and sent home with a tube of Canestan cream to cure his thrush. This does at last explain why he has breasts.
FEBRUARY
Taratang stuns the Planetarion community by creating a thread on GD. However, feelings soon turn to dismay when people read the post.
MARCH
JBOY is sacked by Jammy Jim when it is discovered he has a pulse.
APRIL
Jammy Jim finally admits to being gay and marries Yahwe in a bizarre ceremony held in a local Body Shop outlet. They elope to Cardiff and set up a local Scout movement.
MAY
Zeus, in a desperate attempt to raise 10 dollars to buy Planetarion back from Slim Tech, attempts to rob a bank. He hands the cashier a note saying “hande over the honey, I got a bun in my poket”.
JUNE
Kurashima admits that he is growing a beard because his face is so ugly.
JULY
Despite being dead, Pavil manages to create a new forum account, tricking the moderators by calling it “Pavil three”.
AUGUST
Sarina Joy is voted Miss Glasgow, being the only contestant this year sporting a beard. A stunned Kurashima is voted a close second place, despite his strong protestations that a) he didn’t enter and b) he is a male.
SEPTEMBER
Gayle28UK admits that she would do or say anything to be made a moderator. She states that she would even be prepared to drink a bottle of Nodrogs piss. JammyJim offers to travel to Yorkshire and take her out for lunch in order to discuss the issue. She refuses point blank.
OCTOBER
Snurx becomes the fastest poster in the history of the Internet to reach 10,000 posts. His joy soon turns to dismay however, when Dead_Meat zero’s his post count.
NOVEMBER
Dace creates a witty and humorous thread on the PA General Discussion forum.
DECEMBER
Desperate to combat the growing tide of forum spamm0rs, Jammy Jim acquires the latest in moderation technology – a program that detects forum users who are “thinking bad thoughts”. Upon implementation, every forum user is deleted, apart from Gayle28UK. Investigations reveal that, lacking the ability to actually think at all, she was able to evade the program.
Gayle28UK and the moderators live happily ever after.
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