This thread is too full of actual LAUGH OUT LOUD lines to quote.
Points to note:
- Smelly pubes indicates that you don't wash properly
- Sue Johanssen is no Dr Ruth
- You are not a sex god
- Masturbating three times a week is not really all that regular
- You'll never have sex again (with that girl)
You really should read some educational websites on how to be a (better) lover.
At least you can't get any worse.