[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

Her going to the toilet isnt likely to have any significance in your life. The refusal of people to accept certain things relating to their partner often does have great significance, and seems to one of the main reasons why people screw up relationships.

Perhaps here we come down to some sort of other split, since I don't feel these sorts of truths are objectively very important anyway. Obviously they can become important but that could be said for any random insanity people suffer from.

While this is defensible when it comes to things whose deliberation would cause little or no benefit, it seems like a bad strategy to use when dealing with important truths.

I fail to see how your partner wanting to screw someone else is an "important truth" on any real level.

I think that a comment such as "my ex had a bigger penis/nicer bum/whatever than you, but this isn't important because the reason I love is you more is due to what you are as a totality rather than any one specific detail " sounds a great deal more sincere than "every single detail about you is perfect in every single way", and is also more likely to be true (and believed).

That's a false dichotomy. I wouldn't advocate someone saying "You're perfect in every way" as that's laughably untrue and everyone knows it. Still, people say that sort of thing and mean it because they're "loved up" (to use druggie terminology). If I'm spending time with someone and serotonin/whatever is flooding my brain I may genuinely believe they are perfect. Afterwards in the cold light of day I'll obviously see their skin could be better/etc.

But anyway, that's a side point. So you don't say to someone "You're perfect" you also don't need to mention the fact they're inferior in some fashion to someone else. Why bring it up? Unless it was part of the conversation already I don't see why you'd say anything.

"Oh X, I love you so much. I mean, your cock is so much smaller than my previous boyfriend, and the guy before that and had more money, my first boyfriend could make love to me for hours longer, this guy at work I've had my eye on has a better body, and my friend has better teeth than you but I love your soul." (ok, sure I'm exaggerating now but you can see what I'm saying).

Insecurity is a horrible horrible thing, and basing a relationship around it does not seem rational.

I agree, but I'm not advocating that.