MySQL
I've been playing around with the same recently, but in pl/pgsql. Mine takes about 7-8 seconds to run on my p3-700, with about half the time being spent generating ranks for planets. I might try to improve this (I'm quite sure it's possible), but at the moment I have other stuff I'd prefer to work on.
Sharing tech is
I mean to release my tech stuff at some point, but really, it requires a little more than a normal shell account. It runs python/postgresql, and stores every dump.