Reflecting from the weekend and something many people can probably relate to. I hate after a good night of drinking having to deal with people who for whatever reason can not give you the food that you ordered and paid for...
You know when you phone for a pizza at 3am, they should just say "Hi, we're probably just as drunk as you are, how can I mess up your order?" It never fails to amaze me how wrong they can get it. There is something about alcohol and ordering-in that don't mix (maybe its the non-sensical drooling i mistake as words coming from my mouth, but I doubt it). Alternatively, maybe it is a corporate policy that if the requester of food is audibly intoxicated the employees can feel free to make what ever changes they deem necessary to said order? You know, incase I hurt myself with cheesey garlic bread they should ignore my request or something, but you know, charge me for it anyway. There also seems to be a direct colleration between the amount of alcohol you have in your system the amount they mess up your order or the more food you are missing. When I order sober I have rarely ever had a problem (hmmm), except maybe they are out of coke or they forget the mayo. But after a couple of drinks and ordering-in, ordering the same exact thing, you never get it right.
I pay downstairs, get up to my room, look in the bag/pizzabox, and I swear that I have someone else's order sometimes. I wonder who was the Turkish/Indian/ guy on the phone talking to? Maybe they were picking up some walkie talkie, or ham radio.
"can i take your order"
"yes I'd like a *~*~*Charlie Alpha Tango 5 we are in pursuit of a white male*~*~* with no onions please, thanks"
"umm, okay sure"
After they mess up (or just plain guess) my order I should wait downstairs with everyone else who just placed or recieved an order and start bartering with people to get what the hell I ordered in the first place.
"Yeah I have a hawaiin pizza; I am looking for a Pepperoni."
"Hey talk to the dude in flat 8, but I think he is looking for his Egg Fried Rice."
At that point I would realize that I was also missing my garlic bread, or that they didn't add cheese, or remove the onions/bell peppers. In the end I'd probably run out of things to trade outside and have to call back to get more things to trade.
"Just give me whatever you were going to give someone here for a tenner and oh, I need to trade an egg fried rice for my pepperoni with the guy in flat 8."
Resulting in the order being delivered to flat 8 instead of flat 20 which i
SPECIFICALLY SPELT OUT TO THEM IN PLAIN ENGLISH.
I swear... the more you have had to drink the more they mess it up. A couple of weeks ago I was drinking like a fish and spent £18 on chinese just for myself. I swear you are expecting like 10 items and you only get 3 1/2. You end up with someone else's order and a half eaten portion of chicken chowmein, like maybe they just got hungry while they were messing up your order and decided to have a snack.
But all in all as I always tell myself with all sometimes frustrating events. If this is the worst thing that happens to me in my day then I am doing pretty good.
...and incase you missed it there's a slight air of sarcastic humour here
