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Forum: General Discussions 20 Dec 2004, 01:45
Replies: 41
Views: 5,337
Posted By Jammers
Re: Did the Apollo program successfully complete its mission??

I went to a talk by some Russian Cosmonauts earlier this week (well, technically one of them wasn't a Cosmonaut, and the other one was Ukrainian), and they reckoned that although the landings were...
Forum: General Discussions 4 Jul 2004, 23:49
Replies: 51
Views: 5,386
Posted By Jammers
Re: What's your Pirate name?

Mad James Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Jul 2004, 00:53
Replies: 58
Views: 4,252
Posted By Jammers
Re: Harry Potter Book six name revealed

It'll be Hagrid, he's half man, half giant, and he will be elected Prince of the Giants with the help of his brother, Grawp. He will then lead the giants into battle against Voldemort, using claims...
Forum: General Discussions 20 Jun 2004, 17:51
Replies: 20
Views: 2,042
Posted By Jammers
Re: White Knight Spacecraft Set to Make History

Strictly speaking SpaceShipOne won't be going into orbit, because it won't reach escape velocity. All it will do is fly up at Mach 3, and then fall down again, just like the first two Mercury flights.
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jun 2004, 14:57
Replies: 85
Views: 5,847
Posted By Jammers
Re: Eur Skeptics te new voice of Europe?

Let's hope this means there is going to be an epic five year long filibuster, thus denying the EU the chance to try and meddle in things they shouldn't.
Forum: General Discussions 13 Jun 2004, 23:34
Replies: 21
Views: 2,187
Posted By Jammers
Re: and the main attraction of the local fair is...

It sounds like more fun than the Shildon Gala. The highlight there was that the Royal Navy was handing out posters as part of some recruitment drive.
Forum: General Discussions 8 Jun 2004, 12:01
Replies: 48
Views: 3,084
Posted By Jammers
Re: Venus transit tomorrow...

Luckily I was able to see something after all. With the naked eye (protected by my piece of glass, which I was conveniently able to rest on my nose) I was able to see an extremely small black dot. It...
Forum: General Discussions 8 Jun 2004, 09:49
Replies: 48
Views: 3,084
Posted By Jammers
Re: Venus transit tomorrow...

Is it possible to see it without using any of these newfangled contraptions? All I have is a piece of glass used by welders (to block out the light), but I couldn't see a thing. :(
Forum: General Discussions 5 Jun 2004, 23:47
Replies: 76
Views: 4,619
Posted By Jammers
Re: Your country needs YOU! (to vote)

He was convicted of committing a crime, and he appealed against his conviction. It was just as much a legal issue as it was a political one. Admittedly the legal basis for his appeal wasn't very good...
Forum: General Discussions 4 Jun 2004, 02:26
Replies: 76
Views: 4,619
Posted By Jammers
Re: Your country needs YOU! (to vote)

I've been looking forward to this day ever since 1992, when I discovered that there was such a thing as Elections, which struck me as being the most brilliant idea ever. Back then, I got a day off...
Forum: General Discussions 23 May 2004, 23:20
Replies: 53
Views: 5,473
Posted By Jammers
Re: Most Boring Movie Monologue

It just feels tagged on (probably because it is), and I feel it disrupts the flow of the movie. For some reason I just always lose interest during scenes at the French farm, and then find it hard to...
Forum: General Discussions 23 May 2004, 23:12
Replies: 53
Views: 5,473
Posted By Jammers
Re: Most Boring Movie Monologue

The directors cut of Apocalypse Now is a bit rubbish, particularly the bit with the French farmers. I understand why that bit is in the film, and the point it makes about Vietnam is pretty decent,...
Forum: General Discussions 12 May 2004, 00:36
Replies: 36
Views: 3,372
Posted By Jammers
Re: 50 / 50 ?

If you flip a coin there's a 50\50 chance it'll come up heads.
Forum: General Discussions 9 May 2004, 17:14
Replies: 114
Views: 5,132
Posted By Jammers
Re: EU Vote - How Will You Vote?

You don't need to be a UK citizen, just an EU citizen. You should round up all your fellow anti-europe friends and bring them over to Britain to help us win our independance. Think of the irony of...
Forum: General Discussions 8 May 2004, 16:44
Replies: 114
Views: 5,132
Posted By Jammers
Re: EU Vote - How Will You Vote?

I'll vote no, though that depends very much on what the question is. If the question is "Do you not want Britain to sign the EU Constitution?" then I would probably vote yes.
Forum: General Discussions 7 May 2004, 13:21
Replies: 467
Views: 24,179
Posted By Jammers
Re: Celebdaq

Apparantly Jordans autobiography comes out today, so that should get a few column inches.
Forum: General Discussions 7 May 2004, 13:15
Replies: 21
Views: 1,728
Posted By Jammers
Re: This Euro vote thing (UK)

It'll probably be a postal ballot, which means you get a form sent to your house, which you fill in and post off. The idea is that people live nearer to a postbox than to a polling booth, and so...
Forum: General Discussions 5 May 2004, 16:51
Replies: 191
MM
Views: 9,401
Posted By Jammers
Re: MM

You had my support up until the bit where you decided to dismantle England, but because I'm a kind sort of person I will have a word with the Conservative Candidate for Darlington (he's coming to...
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2004, 23:02
Replies: 24
Views: 1,607
Posted By Jammers
Re: Chemistry wiz needed

If you wrap a battery in tinfoil it creates a circuit, and the tinfoil gets really hot. This may or may not be chemistry, but it could be quite good fun when combined with other chemicals. Maybe you...
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2004, 22:55
Replies: 128
Views: 7,085
Posted By Jammers
Re: Americans are evil and torture Iraqis true story

Great minds think alike.
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2004, 15:40
Replies: 128
Views: 7,085
Posted By Jammers
Re: Americans are evil and torture Iraqis true story

If they got any information out of them that saved just one British\American\Australian soldiers life, then it was worth it. If on the other hand they were just doing for laughs then they should be...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2004, 18:03
Replies: 85
Views: 3,590
Posted By Jammers
Re: I like the Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing

Surely we wouldn't need to fight a ground war with China. Just do the same thing we did in the First Gulf War and bomb them into submission. Use stealth planes to knock out any airfields near Hong...
Forum: General Discussions 19 Apr 2004, 18:39
Replies: 55
Views: 5,038
Posted By Jammers
Re: Star Wars Names?

Hija Dodu
Forum: General Discussions 11 Apr 2004, 00:25
Replies: 29
Views: 2,469
Posted By Jammers
Re: Fire Exits

A shopping mall is private property (probably), and you are only allowed into this property for the purpose of perusing the goods on display. There's some kind of implied implication to this effect....
Forum: General Discussions 8 Apr 2004, 16:27
Replies: 14
Views: 1,981
Posted By Jammers
Re: Ouch!!!!!!!!!!

I was shot with a BB gun once, but fortunatly the bullet hit my wallet and bounced off, leaving me unharmed.
Forum: General Discussions 8 Apr 2004, 16:09
Replies: 46
Views: 3,105
Posted By Jammers
Re: Google Mail

Why does the cookie only last till 2038? Does the world end then, or is it just an arbitary date?
Forum: General Discussions 3 Apr 2004, 19:02
Replies: 12
Views: 2,525
Posted By Jammers
Re: so, have we all got our bets on the grand national then?

£1 each way on Clan Royal. First time I ever won a bet. Clearly Gamblor is my ally
\ó/
Forum: General Discussions 27 Feb 2004, 10:07
Replies: 25
Views: 2,199
Posted By Jammers
Re: ****ing key skills

I went to about 3 key skills IT lessons before realising that I could have an extra 45 minutes sleep by not going. Noone realised I wasn't going, so I never went back. Unfortunatly now I have no idea...
Forum: General Discussions 24 Feb 2004, 01:43
Replies: 29
Views: 2,644
Posted By Jammers
Re: NationStates

I'm still playing, and have been involved in multiple pretend wars. Why, only last night I flattened some guys army with enough cluster bombs to choke a whale. Except it's hard to just flatten...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Feb 2004, 20:18
Replies: 15
Views: 1,929
Posted By Jammers
Re: Man, woman, van

1. Put the woman into a garage.
2. Drive the van into the garage.
3. Load the woman into the van
4. -
5. Profit
Forum: General Discussions 6 Feb 2004, 01:25
Replies: 6
Views: 1,642
Posted By Jammers
Re: My Word - What a tit!

Does it even have another name?
On a somewhat related note, this John Gibson fellow bears a striking resemblance to the guy who plays Malfoy in Harry Potter.
Forum: General Discussions 5 Feb 2004, 20:28
Replies: 8
Views: 1,560
Posted By Jammers
Re: Bloody Belgians!

I was once harrassed by a group of Belgians while perusing an electric shop in Ypres.
Forum: General Discussions 5 Feb 2004, 20:16
Replies: 20
Views: 1,467
Posted By Jammers
Re: Smack my Physicist up.

Maybe it isn't him who made the statement. Maybe his evil wife has simply hacked into his voice box for her own nefarious purposes.
Forum: General Discussions 2 Feb 2004, 01:27
Replies: 37
Views: 2,115
Posted By Jammers
Re: Super Bowl XXXVIII predictions

In cases such as this there are two criteria that can influence my support.
One, do I own an item of clothing bearing that teams logo? In this case the answer is no.
Two, Which team sounds the...
Forum: General Discussions 27 Jan 2004, 23:54
Replies: 66
Views: 3,969
Posted By Jammers
Re: Tuition fees: Government wins

We need an independant England to ensure that Tony Blair can never use his foreign mercenaries against us again.
Forum: General Discussions 27 Jan 2004, 15:51
Replies: 23
Views: 2,710
Posted By Jammers
Re: hey guys, advise me

You might as well finish your AS-levels at the very least, since there's only another three or four months left till the summer holidays so it would be a bit pointless to drop out now. Wait till you...
Forum: General Discussions 23 Jan 2004, 21:19
Replies: 38
Views: 2,404
Posted By Jammers
Re: Suicide bomber's best friend commits career suicide...

Like I said, the Israelis can justify it by saying they are going after terrorists. If the Palestinians stopped doing suicide bombings the Israelis wouldn't be able to justify the occupation.
Forum: General Discussions 23 Jan 2004, 20:13
Replies: 38
Views: 2,404
Posted By Jammers
Re: Suicide bomber's best friend commits career suicide...

Suicide bombers only let Israel justify their continued occupation to the world. A much better option would be to hold mass protest rallies in Tel Aviv\Jerusalem, and hope that some Israeli soldier...
Forum: General Discussions 21 Jan 2004, 00:38
Replies: 61
Views: 8,113
Posted By Jammers
Re: Love Spells

I'm pretty sure using magic for personal gain is the path to the darkside, although that may only apply to Jedi. Might be a good idea to consult Yoda\a Priest just to be on the safe side.
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jan 2004, 16:48
Replies: 467
Views: 24,179
Posted By Jammers
Re: Celebdaq

Basically you only get the full dividend if you've held the shares for full seven days (Friday to Friday). If you've only held the shares for half the week (for example Tuesday to Friday) then you...
Forum: General Discussions 15 Jan 2004, 12:27
Replies: 467
Views: 24,179
Posted By Jammers
Re: Celebdaq

Sports pages don't count towards Divis though, only the news pages.
Forum: General Discussions 15 Jan 2004, 02:27
Replies: 467
Views: 24,179
Posted By Jammers
Re: Celebdaq

Sell Arnie and buy as much Rusedski as possible.
Forum: General Discussions 15 Jan 2004, 01:06
Replies: 467
Views: 24,179
Posted By Jammers
Re: Celebdaq

User ID: 3549730
Forum: General Discussions 11 Jan 2004, 00:59
Replies: 113
Views: 7,881
Posted By Jammers
Re: so this mission to mars then

We do if the equipment breaks down and needs fixing, like Hubble for instance. If NASA hadn't been able to send a repair man up to fix it they would have probably had to build a new one.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jan 2004, 20:34
Replies: 73
Views: 5,934
Posted By Jammers
Re: Old yet new [Political]

Economic Left/Right: 1.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 2.87

I've swung a bit more the Right ( I used to be Left, then dead centre), also I've become a bit more authoritarian.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jan 2004, 14:50
Replies: 77
Views: 4,300
Posted By Jammers
Re: Eldest / Middle / Youngest / Only Child

Eldest child, two sisters and one brother.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jan 2004, 02:01
Replies: 113
Views: 7,881
Posted By Jammers
Re: so this mission to mars then

King of Spain(or Portugal, I forget which): Well Senor Columbus, I've read your proposal and have decided that there really isn't any need to go to the New World. Instead I shall spend the money on...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jan 2004, 01:06
Replies: 14
Views: 1,617
Posted By Jammers
Re: Simpsons Come to UK!

It was OKish. But what was the deal with the gay gambling noblemen? Was it just "hey look, English people are gay" or was there actually some funnyness in it?
Forum: General Discussions 8 Jan 2004, 23:40
Replies: 33
Views: 2,025
Posted By Jammers
Re: Shattered is a fraud.

They could sail out to international waters and do it, or perhaps go to Jersey like Darren Brown did.
Forum: General Discussions 3 Jan 2004, 03:49
Replies: 126
Views: 8,701
Posted By Jammers
An interesting story about the hypocrisy of smokers

One fine spring day last year, while sitting in the park with my friends (three of whom smoked) I started playing with a cigarrette lighter. After several unsuccesful attempts to set fire to the...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Jan 2004, 03:12
Replies: 58
Views: 4,109
Posted By Jammers
Re: Happy New Year to the Brits

The only people who should celebrate New Years is calendar manufacturers and calendar collectors. Otherwise it's just another day.
Forum: General Discussions 24 Dec 2003, 02:21
Replies: 23
Views: 2,317
Posted By Jammers
Re: Have you ever ...

I usually watch it, but last year I was thwarted by my sister, who insisted on watching the alternative Xmas message from Ozzy Osbourne. Needless to say I was not impressed with Ozzy's drunken...
Forum: General Discussions 24 Dec 2003, 01:58
Replies: 23
Views: 2,800
Posted By Jammers
Re: Permachat (I think it's amusing anyway)

I was being deadly serious. Sarcasm would have been acompanied by some kind of smilie, most likely :rolleyes:
Forum: General Discussions 23 Dec 2003, 18:45
Replies: 23
Views: 2,800
Posted By Jammers
Re: Permachat (I think it's amusing anyway)

Funniest thing I have ever read.
Forum: General Discussions 23 Dec 2003, 02:46
Replies: 56
Views: 4,622
Posted By Jammers
Re: what xmas presents do you already know you've got?

I'm getting: Die Hard, Die Harder and Die Hard: With a Vengeance from my grandparents;
The Tin Man by Dale Brown from my Sister;
An Orange with herbs of some kind in it from my Brother (he's to...
Forum: General Discussions 22 Dec 2003, 01:22
Replies: 31
Views: 3,151
Posted By Jammers
Re: [football] How much are you worth as a supporter?

£260,286. I think going to see an away game against non league opposition (Shildon v Darlington) and travelling more than 200 miles to see a game (Darlington v Plymouth 1996 Div 3 Play-Off Final) may...
Forum: General Discussions 22 Dec 2003, 01:09
Replies: 40
Views: 2,207
Posted By Jammers
Re: Gary Jules gets Christmas Number 1

Am I the only one who thinks that it is the most depressing song ever?
Forum: General Discussions 21 Dec 2003, 02:45
Replies: 18
Views: 2,424
Posted By Jammers
Re: Could you get sued for copyright infringement for naming your child after a trademark

It's more likely they would send out a press release saying that "Mr Coca Cola likes Coca Cola so much he changed his name, and we will now shower him with riches for being a walking advertisement...
Forum: General Discussions 21 Dec 2003, 02:09
Replies: 29
Views: 2,438
Posted By Jammers
Re: SelectSmart.com 2004 Presidential Candidate Selector!

Your Results:

1. Your ideal theoretical candidate. (100%) Click here for info
2. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (66%) Click here for info
3. Gephardt, Rep. Dick, MO - Democrat ...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Dec 2003, 23:35
Replies: 16
Views: 2,538
Posted By Jammers
Re: excuses for missing a lesson?

"I'm sorry I didn't attend yesterday's Media lesson, but I went to see the Matrix Revolutions, because what with us doing about Action Films and all, I though it would give me a valuable insight into...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Dec 2003, 19:03
Replies: 7
Views: 1,397
Posted By Jammers
Re: Little Britain

It's variations on a theme, rather than just being the same thing everytime, although admittedly the wheelchair guy is very repetitive.
Sebastian and the Prime Minister are the best ones though.
Forum: General Discussions 16 Dec 2003, 00:14
Replies: 51
Views: 2,955
Posted By Jammers
Re: The World Has Been Misled ...

No more so than saying "Gotcha!" when a certain battleship got sunk.
Forum: General Discussions 15 Dec 2003, 01:49
Replies: 95
Views: 5,987
Posted By Jammers
Re: poland and the eu

Isn't the entire point of the CAP to give free money to farmers? And isn't that free money paid for by hard working taxpayers of the EU member states? And even if the money isn't going to French...
Forum: General Discussions 15 Dec 2003, 01:26
Replies: 95
Views: 5,987
Posted By Jammers
Re: poland and the eu

Probably not, and this would force the EU to make some changes so that we are treated fairly, instead of stealing our money to give to some French Farmer. Voting rights should be the last thing to...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Dec 2003, 15:27
Replies: 95
Views: 5,987
Posted By Jammers
Re: poland and the eu

Most political parties have manifestos outlining their stance on domestic issues, but not on European Issues such as "Should we ban abortion because some Vietnamese Woman Who Can't Speak French was...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Dec 2003, 03:38
Replies: 95
Views: 5,987
Posted By Jammers
Re: poland and the eu

Since there's a good chance that people will disagree with their governments opinion, we shouldn't have these things decided by national governments at all. Instead we should just have Europe-wide...
Forum: General Discussions 7 Dec 2003, 18:10
Replies: 25
Views: 2,080
Posted By Jammers
Re: Genius!

http://pirate.planetarion.com/SMILIES/XMAS/xmassleigh.gif
Forum: General Discussions 7 Dec 2003, 17:23
Replies: 17
Views: 1,873
Posted By Jammers
Re: I think my HeadTeacher has been arrested

Luckily I have a plan, which involves stealing Santa's :sleigh: , and riding it to freedom.
Forum: General Discussions 7 Dec 2003, 02:18
Replies: 17
Views: 1,873
Posted By Jammers
Exclamation I think my HeadTeacher has been arrested

For terrorism or something (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3296729.stm).
Well, it might not be him, but I think the odds of there being more than one British teacher called David...
Forum: General Discussions 5 Dec 2003, 11:03
Replies: 74
Views: 5,707
Posted By Jammers
Re: Piercings

There was a girl at my school who had her fingernails pierced. Surely this ranks above everything else in terms of pointlessness. At least other piercings last a lifetime*, but a fingernail piercing...
Forum: General Discussions 5 Dec 2003, 10:47
Replies: 7
Views: 1,620
Posted By Jammers
Re: Lend a hand?

Chances are he goes to the "forgot my password" bit, then answers the secret question. The best way to avoid this is to not give the right answer to the question, or to spell it wrong.
Forum: General Discussions 5 Dec 2003, 00:46
Replies: 1
Views: 1,347
Posted By Jammers
Re: Christmas Danger

Wouldn't it be funny if his girlfriend read that article and discovered her boyfriend was having an affair with the implausibly named Liza Macfarquharn.
Perhaps that's why the guy is unavailable for...
Forum: General Discussions 5 Dec 2003, 00:31
Replies: 24
Views: 2,718
Posted By Jammers
Re: UK Citzens told to take down Xmas???

I think Muslims are just jealous, because we get presents for our winter holiday, and they get to starve themselves for whatever their holiday is. Haj or something. Of course, Jews get a whole weeks...
Forum: General Discussions 3 Dec 2003, 00:37
Replies: 106
Views: 7,868
Posted By Jammers
Re: Are you Right or Left wing?

Economic Left/Right: 0
Libertarian/Authoritarian: 3

or at least, that's what it was on Thursday, I couldn't be bothered to do it again so soon.
Forum: General Discussions 2 Dec 2003, 12:03
Replies: 19
Views: 3,042
Posted By Jammers
Re: A crap way to waste 30 minutes

They'll probably accuse you of being a "Racist Little Englander", and then they'll put out a press release condemning the acts of "A small number of bigots who are opposed to working with members of...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Dec 2003, 21:07
Replies: 30
Views: 3,545
Posted By Jammers
Re: the AIDS debate

Surely the money would be better spent bumping off the Pope and installing a Puppet Pope which we can rely on to be sane and actually pay attention to what doctors are saying now as opposed to what...
Forum: General Discussions 29 Nov 2003, 01:30
Replies: 13
Views: 2,926
Posted By Jammers
Re: Boris Johnson for Deputy PM!

Since it only costs £3, I will join. Or I would if I had a credit card. Since I don't have a credit card, I shall be forced to resort to such ancient tecniques as applying by post. However, on the...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Nov 2003, 14:45
Replies: 23
Views: 3,350
Posted By Jammers
Re: at the begining of the universe, when everything was more conveniently close together

Probably the equator, since that's where the rotation would be most fastest. Preferably somewhere in the middle of the sea, where there's no light pollution.
Forum: General Discussions 26 Nov 2003, 00:46
Replies: 42
Views: 3,330
Posted By Jammers
Re: the bus

You think having a bus that is late is bad? Yesterday there were people having sex on the bus less than two feet behind me and it was late. I couldn't even see the sex because they were directly...
Forum: General Discussions 24 Nov 2003, 13:23
Replies: 14
Views: 2,879
Posted By Jammers
Re: Atari + Melbourne House = .....

Didn't Optimus Prime die and then get replaced by a sports car of some kind?
Forum: General Discussions 21 Nov 2003, 21:20
Replies: 24
Views: 2,733
Posted By Jammers
Re: Interpret This Cartoon

The Crescent moon obviously represents Islam, and the nasty smell refers to the horror of terrorist acts committed in the name of Islam. The cartoon is reminicent of Luthers 95 Theses, only in a more...
Forum: General Discussions 21 Nov 2003, 20:49
Replies: 24
Views: 2,820
Posted By Jammers
Re: Uncle Tony smoking crack

They killed 26 people. An eye for an eye etc*




*Yes I know, it makes the world go blind. But in the world of the blind, the one eyed man is king.
Forum: General Discussions 21 Nov 2003, 00:52
Replies: 210
Views: 16,172
Posted By Jammers
Re: Fox Hunting is gay

The Government have been trying to ban it for years, and they still haven't succeeded. They should just let local councils decide what to do about it, and then use the time saved in Parliament to do...
Forum: General Discussions 21 Nov 2003, 00:12
Replies: 24
Views: 2,820
Posted By Jammers
Re: Uncle Tony smoking crack

We should bomb 26 Saudi palaces, because they are the ones who are bankrolling all these terrorist attacks, or more accurately, the people who live in the palaces. That'll teach them to blow up...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Nov 2003, 00:03
Replies: 256
Views: 20,586
Posted By Jammers
Re: Tories to re-introduce Death-penalty?

Not if the gain (restoring the death penalty) outweighs loss from repealing the Human Rights Act. Besides which, it doesn't have to be repealed, it could just be ammended.
Forum: General Discussions 15 Nov 2003, 00:43
Replies: 11
Views: 2,326
Posted By Jammers
Re: So the queen is 150 meters away from me...

When the Queen came to Darlington I had to jump up and down just to catch a glimpse of her over the massed ranks of peasants who had turned out to celebrate. It wasn't really worth it, since I could...
Forum: General Discussions 12 Nov 2003, 12:48
Replies: 14
Views: 3,180
Posted By Jammers
Re: Hippy Vs US Navy - who will win?

I thought the shipyard in question was one of the few places in the world capable of dealing with the ships, hence the reason they're coming here.
Forum: General Discussions 12 Nov 2003, 12:43
Replies: 14
Views: 3,180
Posted By Jammers
Re: Hippy Vs US Navy - who will win?

I don't see why the good citizens of Hartlepool are so concerned about a few empty ships, when they've got a huge nuclear power plant, and one of the worlds largest chemical sites sitting right next...
Forum: General Discussions 12 Nov 2003, 00:03
Replies: 8
Views: 3,154
Posted By Jammers
Re: Flash Space Orbits Game?

I got 450728 points
Forum: General Discussions 11 Nov 2003, 01:41
Replies: 21
Views: 2,828
Posted By Jammers
Re: so whatever happened to those premier league players and that girl

Maybe this thing with Prince Charles is an elaborate hoax created by the players involved in order to draw attention away from their exploits.
It's a conspiracy
Forum: General Discussions 10 Nov 2003, 23:49
Replies: 23
Views: 4,336
Posted By Jammers
Re: Bring Back Basil Petition (who cares if im the only one that puts something :p)

It looks vulnerable and weak, which is what I would assume a child looks like in that situation.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Nov 2003, 18:24
Replies: 28
Views: 3,063
Posted By Jammers
Re: The truth about Prince Charles!

I think the video is just Diana and\or a servant saying Charles has had bumsex with a servant. I honestly don't think Charles would be stupid enough to star in an amateur porn film, and then to let...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Nov 2003, 17:57
Replies: 23
Views: 4,336
Posted By Jammers
Re: Bring Back Basil Petition (who cares if im the only one that puts something :p)

The new thing looks like a young child that is about to be raped, whereas Basil was a family friendly image beloved by all.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Nov 2003, 00:10
Replies: 17
Views: 2,641
Posted By Jammers
Re: Chelsea vs Newcastle

It is a dark day for North Eastern football. Newcastle, Darlington and Shildon all lost :(
Forum: General Discussions 7 Nov 2003, 01:24
Replies: 54
Views: 6,124
Posted By Jammers
Re: What has Chuckles been up to?

Wasn't there a story a few months back(or possibly longer) about a gay rape in Charles' household? Could this be connected to that? It's one thing to be having sex with the servants, but it is quite...
Forum: General Discussions 7 Nov 2003, 01:10
Replies: 59
Views: 6,265
Posted By Jammers
Re: Computer games. I need help.

Get a Dreamcast (you can probably pick one up for about tuppence) and Shen Mue 1 and 2. There aren't any nice girls in Shen Mue 1 (well theres a schoolgirl-type person who fancies you, but she isn't...
Forum: General Discussions 3 Nov 2003, 17:48
Replies: 42
Views: 4,113
Posted By Jammers
Re: Northern people

Hartlepool has a nice Historic Quay, and the Marina has some nice shops in it, if you like clothes and perfume. You can also mock the natives about the time they hanged a monkey, although this could...
Forum: General Discussions 30 Oct 2003, 01:25
Replies: 18
Views: 3,681
Posted By Jammers
Re: University Survey

Turkish Delights?
Forum: General Discussions 25 Oct 2003, 23:24
Replies: 4
Views: 2,380
Posted By Jammers
Re: Looking for online Risk sites

http://www.missionrisk.com?
Forum: General Discussions 24 Oct 2003, 23:57
Replies: 3
Views: 2,412
Posted By Jammers
Re: invent a quote

Arnold: No Mr Davis, when shaking hands you must keep your hand upright, and your arm straight. You are all over the place, like a drunk.
Davis: My new job is to be a tramp outside Sacramento...
Forum: General Discussions 19 Oct 2003, 00:52
Replies: 216
Views: 14,592
Posted By Jammers
Re: The EU wants its own military.

And so they will, as soon as these new fangled regional assemblies get formed.
Forum: General Discussions 18 Oct 2003, 00:27
Replies: 19
Views: 3,149
Posted By Jammers
Re: Bloody planes...

Why do people insist on complaining about having planes flying overhead? Just think of it as being an airshow. People pay money to go to airshows, and you're getting it for free, so count yourself...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Oct 2003, 16:32
Replies: 37
Views: 4,153
Posted By Jammers
Re: Teen Big Brother

E4
Forum: General Discussions 17 Oct 2003, 16:18
Replies: 37
Views: 4,153
Posted By Jammers
Re: Teen Big Brother

Apparantly she got given the morning after pill, so thankfully the taxpayer won't have to pay for another teenage mother to sit around contributing nothing to society. :up:
Forum: General Discussions 16 Oct 2003, 22:54
Replies: 13
Views: 2,761
Posted By Jammers
Re: oi like (uk people)

37 so far.
Forum: General Discussions 15 Oct 2003, 16:52
Replies: 41
Views: 3,357
Posted By Jammers
Re: Yet another legal thread.

I usually run away screaming, then cross over the road so the dog would be run over if it tried to follow.
And I don't have to put my hand right in, but my fingers go in, and when that happens the...
Forum: General Discussions 15 Oct 2003, 16:45
Replies: 41
Views: 3,357
Posted By Jammers
Re: Yet another legal thread.

The paper must go right through the letterbox, otherwise it acts as a symbol for burglars to go and burgle that house. People have letterboxes with that annoying fluffy stuff inside, in order to save...
Forum: General Discussions 15 Oct 2003, 16:32
Replies: 41
Views: 3,357
Posted By Jammers
Re: Yet another legal thread.

They complain if they don't get their stupid freebie paper, and then I lose my job, and then I would have to get a real job, like in a shop :(
Forum: General Discussions 15 Oct 2003, 16:25
Replies: 41
Views: 3,357
Posted By Jammers
Re: Yet another legal thread.

As someone who delivers newspapers and has a fear of dogs, let me say this: "If it isn't illegal, then it should be, and everyone should be forced to have a box built around their letterbox, so that...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Oct 2003, 17:32
Replies: 29
Views: 3,888
Posted By Jammers
Re: If a 15 year old lad shags a 16 year old girl

I thought you couldn't give consent if you were under 16, so she wouldn't be able to plead consent anyway.
Forum: General Discussions 13 Oct 2003, 23:45
Replies: 43
Views: 5,739
Posted By Jammers
Re: What's your Homepage?

jpaweb01.planetarion.com/login.pl
Forum: General Discussions 12 Oct 2003, 22:56
Replies: 29
Views: 3,327
Posted By Jammers
Re: Would i be a complete fagot

They weren't so much wars as they were the occasional raid.
Anyway, the important thing is that more wars have been started by non-blonds than have been started by blonds.
Forum: General Discussions 12 Oct 2003, 22:49
Replies: 29
Views: 3,327
Posted By Jammers
Re: Would i be a complete fagot

But Hitler was the guy in charge of the whole Aryanism thing, and he didn't have blond hair. And even if you do class Hitler as having blond hair, he is merely the exception that proves the rule.
Forum: General Discussions 12 Oct 2003, 22:43
Replies: 29
Views: 3,327
Posted By Jammers
Re: Would i be a complete fagot

If there's one thing the world needs it's more blond people. That, and world peace. And since no blond person has ever caused a war the two are interlinked. Therefore, you should go for it.
Forum: General Discussions 12 Oct 2003, 22:36
Replies: 39
Views: 5,289
Posted By Jammers
Re: I just dont know what to do with my haircut

Short cut, shaved at the back. Thats the only haircut I've had for many a year, and it's never done me any harm. Admittedly it's probably never done me any good either, but I genuinely couldn't care...
Forum: General Discussions 11 Oct 2003, 23:38
Replies: 12
Views: 3,075
Posted By Jammers
Re: i had a dream

I once had a dream where a Priest captured me and held me hostage in his Church. It scared me :(
Forum: General Discussions 11 Oct 2003, 15:21
Replies: 63
Views: 5,885
Posted By Jammers
Re: Straw Poll

I don't either.
same reasons as Kura (only I think it would be cheaper to execute them ourselves rather than contracting out to Saudi Arabia)
Forum: General Discussions 10 Oct 2003, 17:11
Replies: 41
Views: 5,602
Posted By Jammers
Re: what the hell is wrong with that bush-guy?

Don't forget Cuba either (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3181048.stm)
Forum: General Discussions 10 Oct 2003, 16:56
Replies: 1
Views: 2,446
Posted By Jammers
Exclamation The Chinese are plotting to attack us with Space-People

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3180618.stm



Surely they should be capable of landing their space ship in a country there aren't dangerous beasties that eat Chinese Space-People?...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Oct 2003, 00:08
Replies: 37
Views: 3,856
Posted By Jammers
Re: Prediction

Elbonia?
Forum: General Discussions 9 Oct 2003, 00:41
Replies: 20
Views: 3,034
Posted By Jammers
Re: Best bible?

Yes (http://www.thebricktestament.com), but it doesn't have all the books in it.
Forum: General Discussions 8 Oct 2003, 23:52
Replies: 39
Views: 4,234
Posted By Jammers
Re: The Middle East Problem

Not if China played them off against one another, then walked in to pick up the pieces under the guise of "peacekeeping" or "nationbuilding". Of course, even if India\Pakistan had blown each other to...
Forum: General Discussions 8 Oct 2003, 22:36
Replies: 39
Views: 4,234
Posted By Jammers
Re: The Middle East Problem

http://www.globalsecurity.org/org/news/2003/030923-israel1.htm, in particular the last paragraph:



I suspect that would alter most peoples lives. Damned Zionists with their weapons of mass...
Forum: General Discussions 8 Oct 2003, 09:58
Replies: 125
Views: 10,514
Posted By Jammers
Re: Arnold wins

I loved Iain Duncan Smiths opinion on whether Schwarzenegger winning was a good thing. Essentially he said, "Well I can tell you this. Winning is something Tony Blair won't be doing at the next...
Forum: General Discussions 7 Oct 2003, 00:51
Replies: 14
Views: 4,004
Posted By Jammers
Re: im going to make a garden

The gnomes could be fishing in the stream, or perhaps acting as gatekeepers for the drawbridge, thus providing additional detterent against Jehovas Witnesses.
Forum: General Discussions 7 Oct 2003, 00:34
Replies: 14
Views: 4,004
Posted By Jammers
Re: im going to make a garden

Try painting a strip of grass blue, and then place a few planks of wood over the blue grass, and place railings on the sides (so people don't fall off). This gives the appearance of having your very...
Forum: General Discussions 6 Oct 2003, 23:39
Replies: 131
Views: 10,087
Posted By Jammers
Re: Petition to remove the new smilies.

I find the lack of English smilies appalling, and in the interests of racial equality I demand the introduction of a Cross of St George, as well as other English imagery to balance out the American...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Oct 2003, 00:13
Replies: 40
Views: 3,911
Posted By Jammers
I learnt that Dromedary camels don't have a hump.

I learnt that Dromedary camels don't have a hump.
Forum: General Discussions 30 Sep 2003, 23:45
Replies: 8
Views: 3,521
Posted By Jammers
Re: Re: One of those questions in life involving R A P E

On a slightly related note, some kid was raped outside my house at the weekend. I'm not sure whether she enjoyed it or not, but I certainly don't enjoy the police spamming my house with letters about...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Sep 2003, 23:53
Replies: 18
Views: 3,220
Posted By Jammers
I don't like small talk with shopkeepers and the...

I don't like small talk with shopkeepers and the like, but fortunatly some bright spark came up with the idea of an Automated Shop that will quite happily sell you anything from tampons to chocolate...
Forum: General Discussions 26 Sep 2003, 23:59
Replies: 42
Views: 4,080
Posted By Jammers
A slight swinging motion. Unless I'm carrying...

A slight swinging motion. Unless I'm carrying something, in which case I'm usually fiddling with the thing I'm carrying, or eating it, depending on what it is I'm carrying.
Forum: General Discussions 24 Sep 2003, 16:40
Replies: 14
Views: 3,238
Posted By Jammers
According to my little brother(who is...

According to my little brother(who is knowledgeable about the new version of Turtles), "The vampires were going to kill the last shinobi who was a Turtle so the other Turtles rescued her. She also...
Forum: General Discussions 24 Sep 2003, 16:34
Replies: 8
Views: 2,616
Posted By Jammers
Make the leaflet A4 size, then group the...

Make the leaflet A4 size, then group the different bits of it together, resize it to A5, then copy and paste to put two of them on the same page.
Forum: General Discussions 24 Sep 2003, 16:32
Replies: 6
Views: 3,658
Posted By Jammers
Her Majesty's Stationary Office...

Her Majesty's Stationary Office (http://www.hmso.gov.uk/)
Forum: General Discussions 24 Sep 2003, 12:32
Replies: 28
Views: 3,522
Posted By Jammers
I usually look forward to Friday, because it is...

I usually look forward to Friday, because it is the start of the weekend, but this week the weekend starts today due to some kind of "Teacher Training" :up:
Forum: General Discussions 21 Sep 2003, 23:59
Replies: 22
Views: 3,495
Posted By Jammers
You'll not be saying that when your £40million...

You'll not be saying that when your £40million yacht sinks and you realise you can't swim and so you need something to grab hold of.
Forum: General Discussions 21 Sep 2003, 22:57
Replies: 22
Views: 3,495
Posted By Jammers
You should buy some Inflatable Speakers. That way...

You should buy some Inflatable Speakers. That way you can deflate them when you need extra room.
Forum: General Discussions 21 Sep 2003, 04:04
Replies: 10
Views: 2,758
Posted By Jammers
Is that like trying to save the Panda?

Is that like trying to save the Panda?
Forum: General Discussions 21 Sep 2003, 03:54
Replies: 30
Views: 4,509
Posted By Jammers
Interesting fact: RNIB has the same number of...

Interesting fact: RNIB has the same number of letters as RIAA, and they both begin with the letter R, and they are both attempting to seize control of the internet. They also both contain the letter...
Forum: General Discussions 18 Sep 2003, 17:49
Replies: 48
Views: 6,227
Posted By Jammers
_ó/ I do, and I am currently ranked 1323,...

_ó/
I do, and I am currently ranked 1323, which is probably rubbish.
Forum: General Discussions 17 Sep 2003, 12:09
Replies: 115
Views: 12,497
Posted By Jammers
We should make a whole series of movies like...

We should make a whole series of movies like that, just to show the Americans how it feels to have their history meddled with for the entertainment of the masses.

As for this movie, I shall...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Sep 2003, 11:31
Replies: 9
Views: 2,920
Posted By Jammers
I thought software was already patent-able. I...

I thought software was already patent-able. I read an article once about all the things Nintendo had patented, and one of them was the camera system in Mario 64.
Forum: General Discussions 16 Sep 2003, 23:46
Replies: 81
Views: 7,023
Posted By Jammers
I don't know why people make so much of Media...

I don't know why people make so much of Media being a mickey mouse subject, as it's essentially the same as English Literature, in that you spend ages making up nonsense to explain things which are...
Forum: General Discussions 15 Sep 2003, 22:42
Replies: 38
Views: 4,190
Posted By Jammers
Since Estonia(non-EU country) is doing so much...

Since Estonia(non-EU country) is doing so much better than Germany(founder EU country), doesn't that mean the European Union isn't such a great thing after all, and so we'd all be better off just...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Sep 2003, 22:33
Replies: 23
Views: 4,396
Posted By Jammers
It's only happened to me once so far. I guess I'm...

It's only happened to me once so far. I guess I'm just lucky :banana:
Forum: General Discussions 14 Sep 2003, 01:35
Replies: 25
Views: 4,291
Posted By Jammers
Warm milk works for me.

Warm milk works for me.
Forum: General Discussions 12 Sep 2003, 20:43
Replies: 45
Views: 4,818
Posted By Jammers
Sonic

Sonic
Forum: General Discussions 12 Sep 2003, 20:39
Replies: 96
Views: 7,969
Posted By Jammers
So now that the Police have taken control of the...

So now that the Police have taken control of the whole making law thing, does this mean we can just abolish Parliament?
Forum: General Discussions 11 Sep 2003, 00:29
Replies: 9
Views: 2,819
Posted By Jammers
It would be like Phonebox, only without the...

It would be like Phonebox, only without the phone, so it would just be "box"
Forum: General Discussions 11 Sep 2003, 00:13
Replies: 51
Views: 11,303
Posted By Jammers
Shildon: It's not just trains* The new...

Shildon: It's not just trains*

The new railway museum. A waste of money if ever there was one. Hasn't actually been built yet. (http://www.nrm.org.uk/html/NEWS_PB/shildon.jpg)

A running track....
Forum: General Discussions 10 Sep 2003, 23:55
Replies: 8
Views: 2,598
Posted By Jammers
One less hippy to worry about.

One less hippy to worry about.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Sep 2003, 23:54
Replies: 42
Views: 6,335
Posted By Jammers
Your soul is worth £11965. For your peace of...

Your soul is worth £11965. For your peace of mind, 70% of people have a purer soul than you.
Forum: General Discussions 9 Sep 2003, 23:39
Replies: 33
Views: 4,467
Posted By Jammers
Do you wish to be honoured with Human sacrifices,...

Do you wish to be honoured with Human sacrifices, or will animals suffice?
Forum: General Discussions 9 Sep 2003, 23:32
Replies: 9
Views: 2,819
Posted By Jammers
Something tells me he isn't actually English, at...

Something tells me he isn't actually English, at least not in the conventional sense.
Forum: General Discussions 9 Sep 2003, 23:21
Replies: 5
Views: 2,389
Posted By Jammers
When one has fallen into a hole, it is only...

When one has fallen into a hole, it is only proper to warn others about the hole so that they won't also fall into it.
Forum: General Discussions 8 Sep 2003, 16:55
Replies: 49
Views: 5,025
Posted By Jammers
;)

;)
Forum: General Discussions 7 Sep 2003, 22:34
Replies: 49
Views: 5,025
Posted By Jammers
Thats a normal colon. I know what that does. It's...

Thats a normal colon. I know what that does. It's the ; I have trouble with.
Forum: General Discussions 7 Sep 2003, 21:35
Replies: 49
Views: 5,025
Posted By Jammers
I don't actually know what a semi colon does, and...

I don't actually know what a semi colon does, and so have never used one :(
Forum: General Discussions 7 Sep 2003, 21:13
Replies: 17
Views: 3,299
Posted By Jammers
Sounds like Pop Idol, only better.

Sounds like Pop Idol, only better.
Forum: General Discussions 6 Sep 2003, 14:54
Replies: 21
Views: 3,183
Posted By Jammers
Re: Re: RIAA claim to be 'above the law'

What if the RIAA claim it was a reasonable search? to recover stolen property for example.
Forum: General Discussions 6 Sep 2003, 00:39
Replies: 28
Views: 3,920
Posted By Jammers
Further Googling reveals this...

Further Googling reveals this (http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~ricky/anime/Ahiru_no_Kwak/PODX-1020/), which seems to be a CD containing songs from the series.
Forum: General Discussions 6 Sep 2003, 00:35
Replies: 28
Views: 3,920
Posted By Jammers
http://www.circleofpowerguild.com/images.php?categ...

http://www.circleofpowerguild.com/images.php?category=5

Fourth and Fifth pictures down^
Might not be the right duck though.
Forum: General Discussions 6 Sep 2003, 00:21
Replies: 29
Views: 3,565
Posted By Jammers
An interesting update on the Complimenting front....

An interesting update on the Complimenting front. The girl who complimented me turns out to be the daughter of one of my teachers from Secondary School. Also, in an effort to look sophisticated, I...
Forum: General Discussions 5 Sep 2003, 16:15
Replies: 125
Views: 10,309
Posted By Jammers
Didn't Britain (single handedly) deal with Oman...

Didn't Britain (single handedly) deal with Oman back in the 70's using a combination of free health care for peasants and the SAS killing the rebels?
Forum: General Discussions 4 Sep 2003, 17:41
Replies: 29
Views: 3,565
Posted By Jammers
Yes. I am doing an AS level in Media (as well as...

Yes. I am doing an AS level in Media (as well as Politics and History) because I need more UCAS points so I can go to university. Or just so I can look clever on job applications etc.
Forum: General Discussions 3 Sep 2003, 23:41
Replies: 29
Views: 3,565
Posted By Jammers
I like the idea of appearing upper class, even...

I like the idea of appearing upper class, even though I quite blatently aren't. Although having said that, I won't take it to Hyacinth Bouquet extents.
Forum: General Discussions 3 Sep 2003, 23:23
Replies: 29
Views: 3,565
Posted By Jammers
I was complemented today

A girl in my Media class today called me "well spoken for someone from Darlington". I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't from Darlington, but it still made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside....
Forum: General Discussions 3 Sep 2003, 23:17
Replies: 12
Views: 3,229
Posted By Jammers
I can't play online games. My computer gets...

I can't play online games. My computer gets militant for some reason and decides not to let me. It's a shame, because I liked team fortress, much better than that "counterstrike" in which I was...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Sep 2003, 23:57
Replies: 23
Views: 4,220
Posted By Jammers
I thought they split up after whatshisname died?

I thought they split up after whatshisname died?
Forum: General Discussions 1 Sep 2003, 23:44
Replies: 12
Views: 2,603
Posted By Jammers
It's better than spending even more money on the...

It's better than spending even more money on the military.
Forum: General Discussions 1 Sep 2003, 23:38
Replies: 23
Views: 4,220
Posted By Jammers
I'll vote Lib Dems in the next election, because...

I'll vote Lib Dems in the next election, because I hate Labour, and I honestly couldn't bear to have Derek "Lets build a bloody great museum in a town which has no facilities whatsoever, and could...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Sep 2003, 17:41
Replies: 11
Views: 2,870
Posted By Jammers
Has anyone ever been trapped in one of those...

Has anyone ever been trapped in one of those after the toilet pops back underground, leaving them doomed to roam the sewers for all eternity?
Forum: General Discussions 30 Aug 2003, 22:31
Replies: 8
Views: 2,724
Posted By Jammers
Why censor out the phone numbers? If they wanted...

Why censor out the phone numbers? If they wanted to retain their privacy they wouldn't have spammed your letter box with their private details.
Forum: General Discussions 30 Aug 2003, 03:54
Replies: 70
Views: 7,844
Posted By Jammers
If I remember rightly, only sending one Email...

If I remember rightly, only sending one Email wouldn't be enough to constitute harrasment, so choose one person to email for maximum effect.
Of course, it's probably illegal for other reasons, but...
Forum: General Discussions 29 Aug 2003, 17:07
Replies: 8
Views: 2,686
Posted By Jammers
Re: DYB: Power Failure

We can but hope. Quite frankly it's about time Al Quaeda tried doing something rather than let the Iraqis steal their limelight.
Forum: General Discussions 28 Aug 2003, 23:06
Replies: 32
Views: 3,965
Posted By Jammers
I'm sick of all the anti-blond propaganda spread...

I'm sick of all the anti-blond propaganda spread about by commoners without the right genes to be blond. They are all just jealous of us, with our superiour genes and other marvelous traits. :mad: ...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Aug 2003, 23:00
Replies: 28
Views: 3,405
Posted By Jammers
I once saw a group of German tourists playing...

I once saw a group of German tourists playing Aeroplanes in York town centre. They were running aroud using their arms as makeshift wings, and made propeller noises.
My friends and I pondered...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Aug 2003, 00:46
Replies: 20
Views: 3,160
Posted By Jammers
Why the hell didn't their brother do something...

Why the hell didn't their brother do something sooner? You get the impression he couldn't be bothered to phone the police, instead just waiting to happen upon a policeman as he went about his daily...
Forum: General Discussions 25 Aug 2003, 19:58
Replies: 12
Views: 2,688
Posted By Jammers
Isn't he a bit late in saying this? Like a few...

Isn't he a bit late in saying this? Like a few hundred years too late.
Forum: General Discussions 25 Aug 2003, 13:56
Replies: 46
Views: 3,996
Posted By Jammers
Is it really that unreasonable to expect people...

Is it really that unreasonable to expect people to pay for a product?
Forum: General Discussions 24 Aug 2003, 23:57
Replies: 46
Views: 3,996
Posted By Jammers
Given that we've already paid for it I should...

Given that we've already paid for it I should hope not.
Forum: General Discussions 24 Aug 2003, 16:20
Replies: 75
Views: 9,371
Posted By Jammers
Re: Re: 'Why do Arabs Hate the West, Especially the U.S.?'

Except for that little incident with the communists (http://www.britains-smallwars.com/malaya/malayan1.html).
Forum: General Discussions 21 Aug 2003, 00:46
Replies: 66
Views: 6,552
Posted By Jammers
Allah moves in mysterious ways.

Allah moves in mysterious ways.
Forum: General Discussions 21 Aug 2003, 00:05
Replies: 18
Views: 3,382
Posted By Jammers
Set them on fire. The ashes will then fertilise...

Set them on fire. The ashes will then fertilise the soil, allowing the plant to flourish. However, this may not be as easy, as one of my friends told me that plants have an inbuilt defence against...
Forum: General Discussions 19 Aug 2003, 23:46
Replies: 36
Views: 5,396
Posted By Jammers
When I heard the UN had been bombed, I thought...

When I heard the UN had been bombed, I thought they meant the real one in New York, or maybe Geneva. I was quite dissapointed to hear it was just some fake knock off copy in Baghdad. :(
Forum: General Discussions 8 Aug 2003, 02:54
Replies: 13
Views: 3,158
Posted By Jammers
Possibly, but it's only wrong to be...

Possibly, but it's only wrong to be discriminatory if it's against a minority group
Forum: General Discussions 7 Aug 2003, 22:57
Replies: 10
Views: 2,676
Posted By Jammers
Re: What movie is this from?

The classic Michael Caine version, which is actually set in Italy and so has a title which makes sense, or the monstrosity that is the new American version, which isn't set in Italy, and so has a...
Forum: General Discussions 7 Aug 2003, 15:48
Replies: 36
Views: 4,341
Posted By Jammers
At first I thought this thread would be about...

At first I thought this thread would be about this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3125475.stm), but thankfully it wasn't.
Forum: General Discussions 6 Aug 2003, 00:15
Replies: 27
Views: 6,453
Posted By Jammers
That was Plan D, which actually worked. We wanted...

That was Plan D, which actually worked. We wanted to avoid hurting his feelings though, hence the elaborate schemes.
Forum: General Discussions 6 Aug 2003, 00:05
Replies: 27
Views: 6,453
Posted By Jammers
My most pathetic "friend" was called Hoppy(no...

My most pathetic "friend" was called Hoppy(no idea why). He was really into bands like Metallica, which isn't too bad on its own, but he decided that the Beatles were a threat to the very nature of...
Forum: General Discussions 5 Aug 2003, 15:11
Replies: 59
Views: 7,865
Posted By Jammers
If only shops and the like remained open during...

If only shops and the like remained open during the night it would be a perfect solution :(
Forum: General Discussions 3 Aug 2003, 02:29
Replies: 34
Views: 4,463
Posted By Jammers
What happens when someone is really desperate to...

What happens when someone is really desperate to go and starts knocking on both doors demanding to know how long the occupents will be?
Forum: General Discussions 3 Aug 2003, 01:19
Replies: 33
Views: 5,037
Posted By Jammers
Buy her a pigeon so that the two of you may...

Buy her a pigeon so that the two of you may exchange love letters without the use of ramshackle Text Message gizmos. A pigeon will offer the pair of you infinitly more love than a phone ever could,...
Forum: General Discussions 2 Aug 2003, 16:27
Replies: 41
Views: 4,439
Posted By Jammers
I once sent a text message that didn't get...

I once sent a text message that didn't get delivered for over a week. The moral of the story is text messages are the most unreliable form of communication since smoke signals.
Try using a pigeon in...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 23:50
Replies: 33
Views: 4,568
Posted By Jammers
The BBC provides me with entertainment(not much...

The BBC provides me with entertainment(not much admittedly, but when was the last time the Government did anything entertaining?) and are less demanding of money than the Government.
I know who I'm...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 15:40
Replies: 15
Views: 3,543
Posted By Jammers
In which case the kid is better off in an...

In which case the kid is better off in an orphanage than being raised by a prostitute.
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 14:13
Replies: 20
Views: 3,543
Posted By Jammers
I dreamt that I was Link from the Legend of...

I dreamt that I was Link from the Legend of Zelda. I think I've been playing Windwaker too much.
It isn't the most peculiar gaming related dream I've ever had, as I once dreamt I was on a trireme...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 14:03
Replies: 64
Views: 7,721
Posted By Jammers
Probably not, since Italy would surrender and...

Probably not, since Italy would surrender and change sides after a few days anyway.
It would be nice to have a war without someone bombing the wrong country though.
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 13:59
Replies: 22
Views: 3,790
Posted By Jammers
I remember the good ol' days of R1, when instead...

I remember the good ol' days of R1, when instead of squandering money on adverts they just got PC Gamer (and possibly others, but I only read PC Gamer) to do a review of it.
Why didn't they do that...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 13:51
Replies: 15
Views: 3,543
Posted By Jammers
But surely the mother would have kept quiet about...

But surely the mother would have kept quiet about it\lied and said the kid was dead\is a street person without any friends, and obviously doesn't want the kid, so she won't own up to it, and so baby...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 02:52
Replies: 64
Views: 7,721
Posted By Jammers
Maybe we could do a spot of regime change in the...

Maybe we could do a spot of regime change in the Vatican due to the all the oppressing it does, and the whole "sex with children" thing.
Might be a good idea to let someone other than America do it...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 02:39
Replies: 15
Views: 3,543
Posted By Jammers
Why do the news people insist on reporting on...

Why do the news people insist on reporting on things like abandoned babies. It isn't newsworthy, it isn't "sensitive", it's pointless and annoying.
Unless it actually is Jesus, in which case it...
Forum: General Discussions 1 Aug 2003, 02:33
Replies: 28
Views: 3,780
Posted By Jammers
I have Rule Brittania, I think it cost 50p from...

I have Rule Brittania, I think it cost 50p from the Orange WapSite.
Forum: General Discussions 28 Jul 2003, 00:54
Replies: 12
Views: 2,817
Posted By Jammers
I thought this would be about the porn site of...

I thought this would be about the porn site of the same name.
Which I have never visited.
Forum: General Discussions 26 Jul 2003, 23:09
Replies: 36
Views: 3,322
Posted By Jammers
Re: Anti-American Rant

Are you sure she hasn't just been hanging out with Saddam Hussein and the gang?
Forum: General Discussions 25 Jul 2003, 15:47
Replies: 35
Views: 3,340
Posted By Jammers
It's not so much "intimate knowledge", more of "A...

It's not so much "intimate knowledge", more of "A is true, so B is likely to be true"
Forum: General Discussions 25 Jul 2003, 15:43
Replies: 35
Views: 3,340
Posted By Jammers
Given that the only time Delta Force don't have...

Given that the only time Delta Force don't have to do it as much as the SAS, it would stand to reason that they won't train for it as much as the SAS.
Forum: General Discussions 25 Jul 2003, 15:33
Replies: 35
Views: 3,340
Posted By Jammers
In the US it is illegal for the military to...

In the US it is illegal for the military to intervene in law enforcement(Posse Comitas). Counter terrorism is law enforcement. Storming a house is pretty similar to counter terrorism.
Thats why the...
Forum: General Discussions 25 Jul 2003, 14:48
Replies: 35
Views: 3,340
Posted By Jammers
It was the 101st Airbourne, who are Paratroopers....

It was the 101st Airbourne, who are Paratroopers. They're well trained, but not in counter terrorism. And even if they did use Delta Force(the US equivalent of the SAS), my point about them not...
Forum: General Discussions 25 Jul 2003, 14:38
Replies: 35
Views: 3,340
Posted By Jammers
They should have used the SAS. They have...

They should have used the SAS. They have experience storming buildings from counter terrorism operations, whereas the US military don't do that as much, because of the laws on Posse Comitas.
Of...
Forum: General Discussions 24 Jul 2003, 18:17
Replies: 41
Views: 4,682
Posted By Jammers
That was my point :)

That was my point :)
Forum: General Discussions 24 Jul 2003, 18:10
Replies: 41
Views: 4,682
Posted By Jammers
Did she single handedly fight off half the Iraqi...

Did she single handedly fight off half the Iraqi Army armed only with a handgun, followed by resisting tortue by several hundred highly trained torturers?
If she didn't, then she's probably just as...
Forum: General Discussions 24 Jul 2003, 18:04
Replies: 41
Views: 4,682
Posted By Jammers
She's a hero if you believe the propaganda. It's...

She's a hero if you believe the propaganda. It's like that guy in the Soviet Union who single handedly mined several hundred tons of coal in one shift, people thought he was a hero till they realised...
Forum: General Discussions 24 Jul 2003, 18:01
Replies: 45
Views: 5,019
Posted By Jammers
Anyone who can truely say that they have never...

Anyone who can truely say that they have never waved a stick around and made lightsabre noises is a liar.
Forum: General Discussions 22 Jul 2003, 23:17
Replies: 52
Views: 6,692
Posted By Jammers
The Northern Echo on weekdays, on Sundays I get...

The Northern Echo on weekdays, on Sundays I get the Sunday Sun(not to be confused with The Sun), although it's a bit rubbish now that all the good columnists got sacked.
Forum: General Discussions 22 Jul 2003, 02:54
Replies: 12
Views: 3,264
Posted By Jammers
We could try detonating nuclear warheads near the...

We could try detonating nuclear warheads near the moon to move its orbit to block the radiation. Then we just need to detonate more nuclear weapons near the Earth to dodge the radiation from the Moon.
Forum: General Discussions 20 Jul 2003, 15:45
Replies: 20
Views: 3,928
Posted By Jammers
The only thing you really needed to know was that...

The only thing you really needed to know was that Jeffry Archer was a liar, and so when he got that woman to write his biography, he lied to her about real life events, with Hilarious Consequences
Forum: General Discussions 20 Jul 2003, 01:22
Replies: 20
Views: 3,928
Posted By Jammers
At this point I shall admit that I don't actually...

At this point I shall admit that I don't actually have the faintest idea about Jeffery Archer, and that everything I know about him was learned from that comedy about him on BBC 1 a few months ago.
Forum: General Discussions 20 Jul 2003, 00:34
Replies: 20
Views: 3,928
Posted By Jammers
Should it have even gone to court though? Like I...

Should it have even gone to court though? Like I said, it's a private matter, it probably didn't affect his performance as whatever job he had at the time, so the public don't need to know about it.
Forum: General Discussions 20 Jul 2003, 00:01
Replies: 20
Views: 3,928
Posted By Jammers
You just take me too seriously :) Besides, I...

You just take me too seriously :)
Besides, I wanted to be the first person to make up a conspiracy theory, so that when other people make up conspiracy theories about this, everyone can just reply...
Forum: General Discussions 19 Jul 2003, 15:06
Replies: 20
Views: 3,928
Posted By Jammers
"Chewbacca is really tall, yet he lives on Endor,...

"Chewbacca is really tall, yet he lives on Endor, with the Ewoks who are really small. Does that make any sense to you? Of course not. Why would a tall person like Chewbacca live with small people...
Forum: General Discussions 18 Jul 2003, 23:51
Replies: 24
Views: 3,582
Posted By Jammers
Kazakhstan is a Rogue Nation who is seeking to...

Kazakhstan is a Rogue Nation who is seeking to possess Weapons of Mass Destruction and is responsible for Human Rights Abuses. Also, there might be some oil there we haven't found yet.
Forum: General Discussions 18 Jul 2003, 23:48
Replies: 20
Views: 3,928
Posted By Jammers
I can't be the only one to find the fact that a...

I can't be the only one to find the fact that a scientist, who may or may not have leaked documents to the BBC showing that Tony Blair is a compulsive liar, has gone missing, and a body has been...
Forum: General Discussions 18 Jul 2003, 15:23
Replies: 20
Views: 3,928
Posted By Jammers
Why is everyone so opposed to Jeffery Archer? All...

Why is everyone so opposed to Jeffery Archer? All he did was lie about visiting a prostitute, and to be fair it's none of our business whether he did visit a prostitute or not.
It's not like he had...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jul 2003, 23:34
Replies: 13
Views: 3,073
Posted By Jammers
A 12yr old girl once pestered me for cybersex. It...

A 12yr old girl once pestered me for cybersex. It was a semi-tempting offer, but I decided against it.
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jul 2003, 22:40
Replies: 12
Views: 3,271
Posted By Jammers
Keep it, and then use it to remenice to your...

Keep it, and then use it to remenice to your grandchildren about the wonders of computer games. They most likely won't understand what they are, but you would be able to educate them.
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jul 2003, 23:56
Replies: 38
Views: 8,311
Posted By Jammers
If thats true, then it was the guys own fault for...

If thats true, then it was the guys own fault for failing to adhere to the local customs and etiquette. If one passes someone in the street it is best to avoid eye contact. If this is not possible,...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jul 2003, 23:09
Replies: 38
Views: 8,311
Posted By Jammers
When the guy on the radio was talking about it,...

When the guy on the radio was talking about it, it was quite funny.
"The weather was nice and sunny. Just the kind of weather that causes children, at least in this area, to go and play in a skip"...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jul 2003, 14:08
Replies: 97
Views: 8,118
Posted By Jammers
1. Notice the part of my post where I said...

1. Notice the part of my post where I said "without autopilot", as in "the terrorists were flying manually"
2. Did anyone on the plane know how to program the auto lander? Didn't the pilots get...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jul 2003, 01:53
Replies: 97
Views: 8,118
Posted By Jammers
Didn't Islamic Jihad (or some other Palestinian...

Didn't Islamic Jihad (or some other Palestinian group) claim responsibility shortly after the planes hit, but then retracted it afterwards, probably because they realised what the US would do to...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jul 2003, 01:01
Replies: 51
Views: 6,637
Posted By Jammers
But Germany didn't exist then, so when Saxe...

But Germany didn't exist then, so when Saxe Coburg Gotha came over to England to take the throne, they brought with them the title deeds to their part of what is now Germany.
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jul 2003, 23:19
Replies: 30
Views: 4,417
Posted By Jammers
I applied for uni, but then realised several...

I applied for uni, but then realised several things. Firstly I don't want to do the course, secondly I won't the grades I need to do the course, and thirdly I wouldn't be any good at the course. So...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jul 2003, 15:01
Replies: 12
Views: 2,716
Posted By Jammers
My English teacher always said to only put Dear...

My English teacher always said to only put Dear Sir, because women expect to be addressed as Sir. Of course, he was something of an eccentric, so it may be best to disregard his advice.
The only...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jul 2003, 03:47
Replies: 52
Views: 7,187
Posted By Jammers
As you do in almost all games. Which is why the...

As you do in almost all games. Which is why the term Role Playing Game needs to be revised.
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jul 2003, 03:28
Replies: 41
Views: 5,357
Posted By Jammers
I shall pray for you, that you may keep your vow...

I shall pray for you, that you may keep your vow of chastity so that God shall not be displeased with you.
Let us all pray for Mirai.
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jul 2003, 03:17
Replies: 41
Views: 5,357
Posted By Jammers
Praises be to you all. I am praying for you. I...

Praises be to you all. I am praying for you. I have now been clean for 7 minutes*. Pray for me, as I shall do for you.
:bunny:





*Not actually true
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jul 2003, 02:57
Replies: 52
Views: 7,187
Posted By Jammers
Why not? They are Games, and you Play a Role in...

Why not? They are Games, and you Play a Role in them. Thus making them Role Playing Games.
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jul 2003, 02:11
Replies: 52
Views: 7,187
Posted By Jammers
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Forum: General Discussions 13 Jul 2003, 00:40
Replies: 49
Views: 4,149
Posted By Jammers
Bad Influence

Bad Influence
Forum: General Discussions 12 Jul 2003, 00:15
Replies: 31
Views: 3,284
Posted By Jammers
This is why written laws should be replaced with...

This is why written laws should be replaced with a nice straightforward "Dear Mr Magistrate, Please use your common sense instead of blindly following orders. Yours sincerely, Tony Blair"
Forum: General Discussions 11 Jul 2003, 23:45
Replies: 18
Views: 3,870
Posted By Jammers
Its filled with loads of "causes". At the moment...

Its filled with loads of "causes". At the moment it's "Lets ban the Army cos some people might have been killed in it" and "Lets get rid of Double Jeapordy because some guilty people might have got...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jul 2003, 23:06
Replies: 44
Views: 4,822
Posted By Jammers
In the clear You can stand up straight and...

In the clear
You can stand up straight and walk tall, no one's after you, unless they're trying to nick something from you! It's good to behave 100% correctly and to the letter of the law, though...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jul 2003, 21:54
Replies: 45
Views: 6,016
Posted By Jammers
Its not as bad as finding a small child who's...

Its not as bad as finding a small child who's parents have abandoned it.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jul 2003, 01:19
Replies: 18
Views: 2,964
Posted By Jammers
Cover all windows\doors with duct tape, leaving...

Cover all windows\doors with duct tape, leaving only a gap big enough to fit a hoover in. Then switch the hoover on and suck the air out. The resulting vacuum may cause the bugs to die. However, it...
Forum: General Discussions 9 Jul 2003, 15:53
Replies: 43
Views: 4,841
Posted By Jammers
A mans bracelet is called a Watch. The only other...

A mans bracelet is called a Watch. The only other men who wear bracelets are strange goth types who roam the streets at night looking for corpses to pillage.
Forum: General Discussions 8 Jul 2003, 23:31
Replies: 19
Views: 3,390
Posted By Jammers
Them Siamese twins should have tried doing this....

Them Siamese twins should have tried doing this. Then maybe they wouldn't be dead now.
Forum: General Discussions 8 Jul 2003, 23:09
Replies: 7
Views: 2,454
Posted By Jammers
Its only unusual because its the first time its...

Its only unusual because its the first time its been done. Besides, aren't there medical magazines to report this stuff in?
Forum: General Discussions 8 Jul 2003, 23:00
Replies: 53
Views: 6,899
Posted By Jammers
What peculiar things some people think about...

What peculiar things some people think about platinum.
Is it pleasurable? I say Yes.
Do you love it? I say Yes
Does it grow on trees? I say Yes.
Is it native to Asia? I say Yes
Is it native to...
Forum: General Discussions 8 Jul 2003, 22:37
Replies: 7
Views: 2,454
Posted By Jammers
I don't get why the news people made such a big...

I don't get why the news people made such a big deal over to iranian types getting their heads cut open. Surely there are more interesting things happening in the world, such as attacks by rogue...
Forum: General Discussions 5 Jul 2003, 00:18
Replies: 10
Views: 2,830
Posted By Jammers
http://www.online-literature.com

http://www.online-literature.com
Forum: General Discussions 30 Jun 2003, 23:02
Replies: 172
Views: 11,915
Posted By Jammers
June 14 Half of the worlds Christians change...

June 14

Half of the worlds Christians change their symbol from the Cross to the Shovel, the other half insist Jesus was killed by a Spade, and change their symbol to a Spade. War soon breaks out...
Forum: General Discussions 30 Jun 2003, 03:11
Replies: 172
Views: 11,915
Posted By Jammers
May 21st Time starts again after someone...

May 21st

Time starts again after someone changes the battery in the Centre Of The Earth.
Forum: General Discussions 29 Jun 2003, 16:07
Replies: 22
Views: 4,040
Posted By Jammers
I watched FoxNews once, there was a...

I watched FoxNews once, there was a semi-interesting story about how those Brave American Heros carpet bombed Japanese Civilians to get revenge for a Japanese attack on a US Naval base.
It would...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Jun 2003, 01:17
Replies: 10
Views: 3,097
Posted By Jammers
I got one asking what you would do on a friday...

I got one asking what you would do on a friday night if you are old enough. There are infinite possible answers for that.
Forum: General Discussions 27 Jun 2003, 01:02
Replies: 38
Views: 3,332
Posted By Jammers
Re: Sonic

The Game Cube's dying? But I'm going to get one for my birthday in just over two weeks :(
Why do I always back the wrong console? I've had a Saturn, N64 and Dreamcast, all of which sank without a...
Forum: General Discussions 26 Jun 2003, 01:02
Replies: 56
Views: 6,065
Posted By Jammers
My theory is that Voldemort will keep possessing...

My theory is that Voldemort will keep possessing Harry every time it looks like he will be beaten, or that he'll posess Harry to spy on\kill Dumbledore. Eventually, Harry will realise that the only...
Forum: General Discussions 25 Jun 2003, 03:34
Replies: 11
Views: 3,356
Posted By Jammers
I still think he was telling the truth all along,...

I still think he was telling the truth all along, and that all the news footage was made by George Lucas. If you look carefully at the scene when Saddams statue is pulled down, you can quite clearly...
Forum: General Discussions 22 Jun 2003, 20:57
Replies: 56
Views: 6,065
Posted By Jammers
I don't think Sirius is dead. It seemed to me...

I don't think Sirius is dead. It seemed to me that he just went to some paralel universe type thing. Of course, that entire part of the book was rendered somewhat incomprehensible by Nevilles...
Forum: General Discussions 21 Jun 2003, 23:16
Replies: 23
Views: 3,714
Posted By Jammers
Don't bother with roads. They just cause...

Don't bother with roads. They just cause pollution, and pollution causes Negative Aura which makes your sims unhappy. Use railways and subways instead. But if you really must use roads, make sure to...
Forum: General Discussions 21 Jun 2003, 15:38
Replies: 23
Views: 3,714
Posted By Jammers
If its one of those budget games, chances are the...

If its one of those budget games, chances are the manual will be on the disc.
As for advice, start off building an industrial zone near the edge of the map, have a road link to your neighbour. This...
Forum: General Discussions 20 Jun 2003, 01:09
Replies: 41
Views: 4,451
Posted By Jammers
Born = Frankie by Sister Sledge 18th Birthday =...

Born = Frankie by Sister Sledge
18th Birthday = I'll let you know in 3weeks time
Forum: General Discussions 19 Jun 2003, 22:58
Replies: 59
Views: 7,832
Posted By Jammers
At A-level I did Law, Computing and Business...

At A-level I did Law, Computing and Business Studies. I also did an AS level in French, which I managed to fail :up:
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jun 2003, 23:53
Replies: 119
Views: 10,946
Posted By Jammers
There is a legal principle called Contributory...

There is a legal principle called Contributory Negligence, which may or may not apply in this case(Civil Law isn't my strong point). Basically what it says is if you're actions lead to you being...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jun 2003, 21:25
Replies: 21
Views: 4,294
Posted By Jammers
They go undercover and infiltrate radical groups...

They go undercover and infiltrate radical groups like Trade Unions, the Womens Institute, and other Hippy organisations.
They're all bankrolled by the Soviet Union.

Of course, nowadays it's all...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jun 2003, 14:11
Replies: 119
Views: 10,946
Posted By Jammers
So there shouldn't be any laws on whether...

So there shouldn't be any laws on whether burglars can or can't sue?
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jun 2003, 14:00
Replies: 119
Views: 10,946
Posted By Jammers
Has anyone realised that the Burglar hasn't...

Has anyone realised that the Burglar hasn't actually won the case yet? All that's happened is he has the right to sue, which isn't the same as winning.
Chances are he'll lose, and then we'll have a...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jun 2003, 13:24
Replies: 186
Views: 17,744
Posted By Jammers
Why should they be exempt from the law? Are they...

Why should they be exempt from the law? Are they in some way "special"?
The law on public shows of religion is primarily designed to stop (usually Christian) churches having massive posters outside...
Forum: General Discussions 17 Jun 2003, 13:05
Replies: 186
Views: 17,744
Posted By Jammers
No democracy, because people don't know whats...

No democracy, because people don't know whats best for themselves, and due to voter apathy they probably wouldn't miss elections very much(well some might, but there would be a pro-asylum seeker...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jun 2003, 20:54
Replies: 34
Views: 4,204
Posted By Jammers
I used to comb my hair, but then people laughed...

I used to comb my hair, but then people laughed at my combover, so I gave up. Now I just get my hair cut short enough that I don't need to comb it.
People have made references to Russian Soldiers,...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Jun 2003, 20:46
Replies: 21
Views: 3,482
Posted By Jammers
Good. Now we just need to hang the rest of them...

Good. Now we just need to hang the rest of them and have done with it.
Or have rats eating their faces, whichever would work better on TV.
Forum: General Discussions 15 Jun 2003, 03:05
Replies: 5
Views: 2,709
Posted By Jammers
E-bay

E-bay
Forum: General Discussions 15 Jun 2003, 02:53
Replies: 9
Views: 2,833
Posted By Jammers
Maybe your mother knocked the mouse, and caused...

Maybe your mother knocked the mouse, and caused the screensaver to vanish, and then saw what was on the screen, and then the screensaver came back on, and now your mother is thinking about what she...
Forum: General Discussions 15 Jun 2003, 02:45
Replies: 21
Views: 2,733
Posted By Jammers
I looked out of three windows, each in different...

I looked out of three windows, each in different directions. The first window I saw a huge spider that was provocativly wriggling at me, the second window I saw two hobos attempting some sort of...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Jun 2003, 00:21
Replies: 4
Views: 2,392
Posted By Jammers
That's what happens if you're a picky eater.

That's what happens if you're a picky eater.
Forum: General Discussions 13 Jun 2003, 22:36
Replies: 23
Views: 2,999
Posted By Jammers
Surely this would be classed as terrorism in...

Surely this would be classed as terrorism in todays more enlightened times?
Forum: General Discussions 13 Jun 2003, 19:12
Replies: 10
Views: 2,776
Posted By Jammers
Those pictures are of such bad quality that it...

Those pictures are of such bad quality that it could be anyone falling over with hilarious consequences.
Forum: General Discussions 13 Jun 2003, 00:36
Replies: 26
Views: 3,491
Posted By Jammers
I was talking about internationally.

I was talking about internationally.
Forum: General Discussions 13 Jun 2003, 00:01
Replies: 26
Views: 3,491
Posted By Jammers
Exactly. BBC would make a fortune flogging digi...

Exactly. BBC would make a fortune flogging digi boxes to sports fans like yourself, and we wouldn't have to watch those disturbing adverts where Gary Lineker has breasts, because most of the country...
Forum: General Discussions 12 Jun 2003, 17:12
Replies: 9
Views: 2,752
Posted By Jammers
Go to the local citizens advice bureau and say...

Go to the local citizens advice bureau and say you want advice on taking legal proceedings against the local salsa club because they are racist. Once you win (they might settle out of court because...
Forum: General Discussions 11 Jun 2003, 23:54
Replies: 26
Views: 3,491
Posted By Jammers
Then how would I, the public(or part of) go about...

Then how would I, the public(or part of) go about asking them to buck up their ideas and use one of their many digital channels to show sport on? I'm sure little Jimmy, aged 2 3/4 will not object to...
Forum: General Discussions 11 Jun 2003, 21:46
Replies: 26
Views: 3,491
Posted By Jammers
If the BBC were a restaurant, the food would...

If the BBC were a restaurant, the food would arrive several hours late, and only after you had been force fed brussel sprouts for that period. You would refuse to pay, and justifiably so. If you...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jun 2003, 22:36
Replies: 47
Views: 3,993
Posted By Jammers
Darlington FC, ruled over by the benevolent...

Darlington FC, ruled over by the benevolent despot: George Reynolds.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Jun 2003, 12:17
Replies: 4
Views: 2,433
Posted By Jammers
Spending the night with his daughter doing what?...

Spending the night with his daughter doing what? Incest. Thats what.:eek:
Forum: General Discussions 9 Jun 2003, 00:10
Replies: 20
Views: 2,785
Posted By Jammers
Last time Germany tried to add Poland to their...

Last time Germany tried to add Poland to their empire Britain decided to intervene. Alas, Tony Blair lacks the balls to attack anyone other than arabs.
I am now investing all my faith in King Arthur...
Forum: General Discussions 7 Jun 2003, 21:56
Replies: 17
Views: 3,115
Posted By Jammers
We simply began reclassifying political prisoners...

We simply began reclassifying political prisoners as normal prisoners. It makes us look more friendly.
Forum: General Discussions 7 Jun 2003, 21:41
Replies: 95
Views: 7,520
Posted By Jammers
Sean Connery.

Sean Connery.
Forum: General Discussions 7 Jun 2003, 14:42
Replies: 17
Views: 3,115
Posted By Jammers
The People's Republic of Shildonia "Peace...

The People's Republic of Shildonia
"Peace Through Tyranny"

UN Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights: Average
Economy: Frightening
Political Freedoms: Rare

Location: Shildon
Forum: General Discussions 6 Jun 2003, 21:48
Replies: 61
Views: 9,364
Posted By Jammers
They're less likely to be able to hunt you down...

They're less likely to be able to hunt you down and exact their bloody and violent revenge?
Forum: General Discussions 5 Jun 2003, 16:15
Replies: 56
Views: 8,295
Posted By Jammers
Blond people are an ethnic minority, and being...

Blond people are an ethnic minority, and being cruel to us is racialist.
:down: :(
Forum: General Discussions 5 Jun 2003, 11:14
Replies: 9
Views: 3,103
Posted By Jammers
I can't wink :(

I can't wink :(
Forum: General Discussions 4 Jun 2003, 21:00
Replies: 51
Views: 6,811
Posted By Jammers
If Africa wanted help from the west they...

If Africa wanted help from the west they shouldn't have told us to get lost. It's their own fault for not wanting to stick with Britain. They could have had schools, hospitals, and a Queen. Instead...
Forum: General Discussions 4 Jun 2003, 20:52
Replies: 21
Views: 4,753
Posted By Jammers
But you would have to work for 63months to be...

But you would have to work for 63months to be able to afford the land.
Forum: General Discussions 4 Jun 2003, 20:46
Replies: 25
Views: 3,193
Posted By Jammers
Threaten to shop her to the cops regarding her...

Threaten to shop her to the cops regarding her drug habit unless she sleeps with you, then shop her anyway and claim the reward.

Also, she's 15 and she already has her own house complete with room...
Forum: General Discussions 3 Jun 2003, 02:59
Replies: 21
Views: 4,753
Posted By Jammers
Hurrah for my incomptence which means I can't do...

Hurrah for my incomptence which means I can't do a degree in computing and so have to find something else to do. Although that probably still means being unemployed so I'm no better off really :(
Forum: General Discussions 1 Jun 2003, 22:14
Replies: 39
Views: 3,072
Posted By Jammers
Harry Potter may be a bit dodgy, but it's still...

Harry Potter may be a bit dodgy, but it's still better than Lord of the Rings. At least stuff actually happens in Harry Potter, rather then spending 40+ chapters wandering through a forest talking to...
Forum: General Discussions 31 May 2003, 03:29
Replies: 13
Views: 3,354
Posted By Jammers
Arrow An interesting story about smoking: Several of...

An interesting story about smoking:
Several of my friends smoke, and when they do, they blow smoke at me. Despite my protests, they refuse to stand downwind of me. One day, I acquired a cigarette...
Forum: General Discussions 31 May 2003, 01:01
Replies: 25
Views: 4,213
Posted By Jammers
It is. Thats what happens when Oliver "I'm Better...

It is. Thats what happens when Oliver "I'm Better than Churchill" Cromwell is allowed to run the country.
Forum: General Discussions 31 May 2003, 00:33
Replies: 15
Views: 2,836
Posted By Jammers
Thats Korean workmanship for you.

Thats Korean workmanship for you.
Forum: General Discussions 29 May 2003, 20:32
Replies: 23
Views: 3,432
Posted By Jammers
I think my gal pic...

I think my gal pic (http://www3.ns.sympatico.ca/p.stevens/Canada.jpg) sums this issue up nicely.
*Waits for people to scroll through every galaxy so they can hunt me down and then kill me*
Forum: General Discussions 28 May 2003, 22:18
Replies: 22
Views: 2,608
Posted By Jammers
Yes I would. I hate exams. They are massivly...

Yes I would. I hate exams. They are massivly unrealistic. In real life you are never going to be expected to write a report in less than an hour without being able to check that what you are writing ...
Forum: General Discussions 28 May 2003, 21:59
Replies: 21
Views: 3,109
Posted By Jammers
I suppose that would play better for the TV...

I suppose that would play better for the TV cameras.
Forum: General Discussions 28 May 2003, 21:57
Replies: 38
Views: 3,467
Posted By Jammers
1500 - 24 1545 - Star Trek TOS 1630 -...

1500 - 24
1545 - Star Trek TOS
1630 - Enterprise
1745 - Monty Pythons Flying Circus
1815 - Futurama
1845 - The Simpsons
1915 - Seinfeld
1945 - Ultimate Force
2030 - Indiana Jones and the Last...
Forum: General Discussions 28 May 2003, 21:18
Replies: 19
Views: 3,038
Posted By Jammers
Re: Re: Re: I almost hung myself this morning.

You must have very long arms to reach something half a mile away :D
Forum: General Discussions 28 May 2003, 21:13
Replies: 21
Views: 3,109
Posted By Jammers
Surely it would be better to keep them as...

Surely it would be better to keep them as hostages. For every person the terrorists kill, we kill 2 of their little friends, and then we smear the bodies with pig fat so they can't get to paradise.
Forum: General Discussions 28 May 2003, 00:45
Replies: 21
Bbc
Views: 3,942
Posted By Jammers
The way I see it if a program isn't shown when...

The way I see it if a program isn't shown when it's supposed to be, then it's been replaced. Perhaps "preempted" would be a better word to use, but it means essentially the same thing.
And yes, the...
Forum: General Discussions 28 May 2003, 00:22
Replies: 21
Bbc
Views: 3,942
Posted By Jammers
Maybe people are just realising that the BBC has...

Maybe people are just realising that the BBC has been stealing their money, and then not actually caring about their viewers.
They replaced Hunt For Red October with some documentry about some...
Forum: General Discussions 27 May 2003, 14:16
Replies: 48
Views: 3,707
Posted By Jammers
George Lucas himself designed that dress. ...

George Lucas himself designed that dress.
Clearly he is a dirty old man.
Forum: General Discussions 27 May 2003, 02:01
Replies: 22
Views: 2,745
Posted By Jammers
Get a can of deoderant and a ciggarrette lighter,...

Get a can of deoderant and a ciggarrette lighter, and burn it. Hopefully it will remain alive for a while and will fly around while on fire. Take pictures of the event to show to passersby.
Forum: General Discussions 27 May 2003, 00:15
Replies: 47
Views: 3,281
Posted By Jammers
I got the Kym Marsh one. It's quite good.

I got the Kym Marsh one. It's quite good.
Forum: General Discussions 24 May 2003, 23:50
Replies: 7
Views: 2,542
Posted By Jammers
It may mean he isn't forced to, but he might do...

It may mean he isn't forced to, but he might do it out of the goodness of his heart.
Forum: General Discussions 24 May 2003, 23:42
Replies: 7
Views: 2,542
Posted By Jammers
He's got an Honourary Knighthood (or an MBE, or...

He's got an Honourary Knighthood (or an MBE, or something similar), and anyone who is willing to ride a horse into battle to save the Motherland is worthy of being English
Forum: General Discussions 24 May 2003, 23:23
Replies: 15
Views: 3,246
Posted By Jammers
Yes, with She-Man, the Master\Mistress of the...

Yes, with She-Man, the Master\Mistress of the Eurovision Song Contest. I think his\her name was Dana.
Forum: General Discussions 24 May 2003, 03:23
Replies: 24
Views: 3,655
Posted By Jammers
They should make it more like the book. Replace...

They should make it more like the book. Replace evictions with Room 101, complete with rats, and turn Big Brother into an evil dictator, rather than a benevolent Uncle-type figure. Also, every week...
Forum: General Discussions 23 May 2003, 17:03
Replies: 28
Views: 3,141
Posted By Jammers
Woke up at 0810. Decided to make an appearance...

Woke up at 0810. Decided to make an appearance at college and so ran downstairs and went to catch the 0815 bus. Saw the bus drive past as soon as I stepped out of the house. Shouted abuse at the bus...
Forum: General Discussions 21 May 2003, 12:25
Replies: 20
Views: 2,797
Posted By Jammers
Barney the Dinosaur should be given the...

Barney the Dinosaur should be given the Congressional Medal of Honor for services above and beyond the call of duty.
Forum: General Discussions 21 May 2003, 12:13
Replies: 66
Views: 7,098
Posted By Jammers
Seconded. All the best people are called James :)

Seconded. All the best people are called James :)
Forum: General Discussions 19 May 2003, 00:22
Replies: 32
Views: 5,039
Posted By Jammers
Sixthed

Sixthed
Forum: General Discussions 18 May 2003, 00:40
Replies: 58
Views: 6,965
Posted By Jammers
1) But if we join the Euro, won't lots of firms...

1) But if we join the Euro, won't lots of firms just move into central europe to save money on distribution etc? At the moment we can meddle with interest rates to keep businesses here, but if we...
Forum: General Discussions 17 May 2003, 01:34
Replies: 2
Views: 3,378
Posted By Jammers
We were close

Following all the warnings about terrorists in East Africa (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3033097.stm) , those nice folks in Al-Qaeda decide to hit Casablanca...
Forum: General Discussions 16 May 2003, 15:23
Replies: 19
Views: 3,624
Posted By Jammers
Srictly speaking Darlington Bus Station is a...

Srictly speaking Darlington Bus Station is a garage\depot. It's where the buses go on a night, and where the local bus spotters go to see the newest and most exiting buses.
Incidently, I've never...
Forum: General Discussions 16 May 2003, 15:16
Replies: 10
Views: 2,972
Posted By Jammers
At least it didn't go as badly as Desert 1.

At least it didn't go as badly as Desert 1.
Forum: General Discussions 15 May 2003, 14:28
Replies: 14
Views: 2,716
Posted By Jammers
It had Selebi\Serebi in. Or at least thats what...

It had Selebi\Serebi in. Or at least thats what happened in the Games. Well, if you have the Japanese version of Gold\Silver and a GameBoy that can go on the Internet.
No idea what happened in the...
Forum: General Discussions 14 May 2003, 12:22
Replies: 45
Views: 4,593
Posted By Jammers
I was looking forward to going to see it, but now...

I was looking forward to going to see it, but now the stupid bloody BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3027027.stm) have spolit the entire thing with their "lets tell everyone how the movie ends so...
Forum: General Discussions 14 May 2003, 11:25
Replies: 15
lol
Views: 3,461
Posted By Jammers
The sooner people realise that art is just pretty...

The sooner people realise that art is just pretty pictures and sculptures, the better.
Other wise we'll just have even more people pleading "Art" when they commit crimes, or just do something stupid.
Forum: General Discussions 13 May 2003, 22:28
Replies: 24
Views: 3,449
Posted By Jammers
That was Emmerdale, and he wasn't a farmer, he...

That was Emmerdale, and he wasn't a farmer, he was a postal worker, and she wasn't really his sister(they were step-sisters)
Forum: General Discussions 12 May 2003, 23:03
Replies: 45
Views: 3,524
Posted By Jammers
On the contrary. The difference between me and...

On the contrary. The difference between me and Nick Griffen is the way we define Britishness. For him, being British is about race, which one cannot choose, whereas for me, being British is a...
Forum: General Discussions 12 May 2003, 21:11
Replies: 45
Views: 3,524
Posted By Jammers
No more odd than giving British money to people...

No more odd than giving British money to people who don't put anything into the British economy.
Admittedly homeless people don't either, but at least they could contribute, given a bit of help to...
Forum: General Discussions 12 May 2003, 21:02
Replies: 45
Views: 3,524
Posted By Jammers
She could have been a bit more "creative" when it...

She could have been a bit more "creative" when it came to handing out money. Like giving it to the homeless people. British homeless people, who actually deserve British money.
Forum: General Discussions 12 May 2003, 20:02
Replies: 38
Views: 3,655
Posted By Jammers
Gay bars?

Gay bars?
Forum: General Discussions 12 May 2003, 19:57
Replies: 45
Views: 3,524
Posted By Jammers
I never liked Claire Short, mainly because she...

I never liked Claire Short, mainly because she gave my hard earned money to some Ethiopian guy who has never paid any taxes to Britain in his life, and probably never will.
Forum: General Discussions 11 May 2003, 15:55
Replies: 13
Views: 3,008
Posted By Jammers
Well he's only 9, and I'm sure he's not the only...

Well he's only 9, and I'm sure he's not the only person to have broken something so he can get the "new and improved version"
Forum: General Discussions 11 May 2003, 15:38
Replies: 10
Views: 2,805
Posted By Jammers
I think the important thing to remember is that...

I think the important thing to remember is that getting blown out of an aeroplane really does suck, at least for the people who were in the plane.
Forum: General Discussions 11 May 2003, 15:31
Replies: 13
Views: 3,008
Posted By Jammers
Time for a quick update on the state of play. ...

Time for a quick update on the state of play.
William(my brother) has now taken to throwing it around in an attempt to break it, and it seems to have worked because now the d-pad refuses to accept a...
Forum: General Discussions 11 May 2003, 01:26
Replies: 38
Views: 14,528
Posted By Jammers
A memorial bench in Shildon Town Square, complete...

A memorial bench in Shildon Town Square, complete with a life size, fully interactive (hopefully some form of AI will have been developed by then) replica of me, who shall sit there for all eternity,...
Forum: General Discussions 10 May 2003, 22:31
Replies: 13
Views: 3,008
Posted By Jammers
Won't that invalidate the warranty tho?

Won't that invalidate the warranty tho?
Forum: General Discussions 10 May 2003, 22:20
Replies: 13
Views: 3,008
Posted By Jammers
Exclamation Game Boys

My little brother decided to heighten the Game Boy experience by playing it in the bath, and since he is an inept fool, he dropped it. Now his Game Boy Advance is wet inside. Anyone got any ideas to...
Forum: General Discussions 9 May 2003, 13:59
Replies: 86
Views: 8,843
Posted By Jammers
Claim not to know the locations of the nearest...

Claim not to know the locations of the nearest toilet, and demand that she tell you where they are.

Or

"Ahoy, you wouldn't happen to have a pen\pencil\paper I can borrow would you, as I appear...
Forum: General Discussions 9 May 2003, 13:30
Replies: 28
Views: 5,010
Posted By Jammers
Lets hold a sweepstakes on how long it takes for...

Lets hold a sweepstakes on how long it takes for the country of London to be declared a rogue state and invaded.
Lets look at the evidence against them:

The President of London is(or was) a...
Forum: General Discussions 7 May 2003, 12:24
Replies: 40
Views: 3,551
Posted By Jammers
anything that the BBC use as an excuse to knock...

anything that the BBC use as an excuse to knock off decent shows like Star Trek, Buffy and 24.

ie Snooker, Darts and whatever else the BBC still have.
Forum: General Discussions 6 May 2003, 17:05
Replies: 60
Views: 5,894
Posted By Jammers
If only we still had the death penalty for...

If only we still had the death penalty for treason. Theres nothing like a public hanging on Tower Green to rally the nations spirits.
Forum: General Discussions 4 May 2003, 23:40
Replies: 57
Views: 6,918
Posted By Jammers
126, which was better than the 80or so I got last...

126, which was better than the 80or so I got last year
Forum: General Discussions 4 May 2003, 00:55
Replies: 18
Views: 4,176
Posted By Jammers
The non-drugs guy. Anyone who takes drugs...

The non-drugs guy. Anyone who takes drugs deserves to overdose the first time they do it, thus saving the rest of society the hassle of getting mugged to fund their habit.
Forum: General Discussions 3 May 2003, 23:19
Replies: 16
Views: 4,348
Posted By Jammers
It's official, Shildon > Darlington. God only...

It's official, Shildon > Darlington.
God only knows how though, since theres nothing at all in Shildon
Forum: General Discussions 3 May 2003, 20:34
Replies: 13
Views: 3,145
Posted By Jammers
I was watching an American TV show once (Off...

I was watching an American TV show once (Off Center) and one of the characters was English, and all the Americans laughed at him because he wasn't circumcised.
He replied by saying, "If this was a...
Forum: General Discussions 3 May 2003, 00:48
Replies: 19
Views: 3,534
Posted By Jammers
God willing I'll be getting it for my birthday....

God willing I'll be getting it for my birthday. But is it worth buying it now (I don't have a gamecube yet) so I can get the snazzy second disc with Ocarina of Time on(which Ive already got on the...
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2003, 23:32
Replies: 12
Views: 3,155
Posted By Jammers
I could do that, but since my TV has just given...

I could do that, but since my TV has just given up the ghost it is unlikely I can afford anything for the forseeable future :(
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2003, 23:24
Replies: 6
Views: 3,251
Posted By Jammers
Go BNP. I want my extra bank holiday next year...

Go BNP. I want my extra bank holiday next year for St Georges Day, and I don't care if a few gypsies get kicked out of town in the process.
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2003, 22:53
Replies: 12
Views: 3,155
Posted By Jammers
We(I) want proof of this alleged incident,...

We(I) want proof of this alleged incident, preferably in the form of video footage.
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2003, 09:46
Replies: 18
Views: 3,148
Posted By Jammers
As far as fantastical and mythical beings are...

As far as fantastical and mythical beings are concerned, I'd rather be a Hylian.
Forum: General Discussions 1 May 2003, 09:43
Replies: 36
Views: 4,833
Posted By Jammers
Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis ...

Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain...
Forum: General Discussions 30 Apr 2003, 23:04
Replies: 11
Views: 2,257
Posted By Jammers
Around these parts we need another 300 people to...

Around these parts we need another 300 people to sign up, and the pro-broadband lobby have taken to spamming the local freebie newspaper and sending leaflets to everyone.

But my parents say I...
Forum: General Discussions 29 Apr 2003, 22:49
Replies: 15
Views: 2,480
Posted By Jammers
Re: Re: best internet political test ever

According to that I'm a borderline Fascist. Which is strange as I thought I was a fascist.

Your Personal Self-Government Score is 20%.
Your Economic Self-Government Score is 50%.
Forum: General Discussions 29 Apr 2003, 22:43
Replies: 29
Views: 3,821
Posted By Jammers
You dare to deny the suffering of the Black...

You dare to deny the suffering of the Black peoples? Would you complain if you were shipped off to die in some Cotton Farm surrounded by rednecks?


(I was parodying the reactions of one of those...
Forum: General Discussions 29 Apr 2003, 22:18
Replies: 10
Views: 2,504
Posted By Jammers
Re: Best simpsons ever? Probably.

I think you'll find she's called Shary Bobbins, not Cherry. :D
Forum: General Discussions 29 Apr 2003, 17:24
Replies: 29
Views: 3,821
Posted By Jammers
Black people are allowed to be racist, because us...

Black people are allowed to be racist, because us white people stole their land and then shipped them off to America as slaves.
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2003, 22:43
Replies: 10
Views: 2,903
Posted By Jammers
theres two types of chocolate, black and white,...

theres two types of chocolate, black and white, symbolising a world of the future where racial barriers are broken down and all live in peace and harmony.
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2003, 22:40
Replies: 86
Views: 10,173
Posted By Jammers
Lord of the Rings. Gains extra marks for all the...

Lord of the Rings. Gains extra marks for all the inevitable zealots who will now start crawling out of the woodwork to proclaim that the Emporer is in fact fully clothed.

(10points for the first...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2003, 22:35
Replies: 10
Views: 2,903
Posted By Jammers
I like Wagon Wheels. Especially the ones with...

I like Wagon Wheels.
Especially the ones with Jam in.
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2003, 22:24
Replies: 10
Views: 6,145
Posted By Jammers
I'll ensure your first up against the wall when...

I'll ensure your first up against the wall when the Time comes.
(as in firing squad, not gay sex)


Rise up fellow blonds, and we shall seize power, at least in Scandanavia where most blonds...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2003, 22:18
Replies: 38
Views: 2,961
Posted By Jammers
Possibly, but since it isn't repeated for two...

Possibly, but since it isn't repeated for two weeks (bloody snooker) we may never know.
Unless someone taped it...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2003, 22:15
Replies: 10
Views: 6,145
Posted By Jammers
As a blond person I find this offensive and...

As a blond person I find this offensive and racist. The time will come when blond people shall rise up against their cruel oppressers, and when that time comes I shall be sleeping with a harem of...
Forum: General Discussions 28 Apr 2003, 22:11
Replies: 38
Views: 2,961
Posted By Jammers
With a bottle of petrol and a cigarette lighter?...

With a bottle of petrol and a cigarette lighter? Lets face it Syed Ali must be a dab hand with the ol' explosives given that he's about to nuke LA, so presumably he came up with an elaborate plan.
...
Forum: General Discussions 27 Apr 2003, 17:42
Replies: 1
Views: 2,690
Posted By Jammers
I thought somebody had proved that the Majestic...

I thought somebody had proved that the Majestic 12 documents were real, and that the Americans had lied to the world about there not being any aliens.

Evidently I was wrong :( :down:
Forum: General Discussions 27 Apr 2003, 02:20
Replies: 26
Views: 4,276
Posted By Jammers
What if you just give them away for free? (Which...

What if you just give them away for free? (Which is essentially what happens on FileSwapping things)
Forum: General Discussions 27 Apr 2003, 00:03
Replies: 26
Views: 4,276
Posted By Jammers
*hides his videos*

*hides his videos*
Forum: General Discussions 26 Apr 2003, 23:48
Replies: 26
Views: 4,276
Posted By Jammers
The first way is easier as the other person...

The first way is easier as the other person doesn't need to sit in front of a radio all day until the song comes on.
Forum: General Discussions 26 Apr 2003, 23:46
Replies: 17
Views: 3,172
Posted By Jammers
We already have oil. But in 50yrs time we'll have...

We already have oil. But in 50yrs time we'll have run out, so the Iraqi oil will come in handy.
Forum: General Discussions 26 Apr 2003, 00:02
Replies: 26
Views: 4,276
Posted By Jammers
The way I see it is this: It's legal to record TV...

The way I see it is this: It's legal to record TV shows\movies off TV, and its legal to record songs off the radio, and if I assume that the stuff I'm downloading was recorded off TV\Radio then...
Forum: General Discussions 25 Apr 2003, 23:44
Replies: 8
Views: 2,752
Posted By Jammers
It isn't as shocking as when I discovered Ian...

It isn't as shocking as when I discovered Ian Botham wore Bart Simpson socks.
Actually that made me like him even more :)
Forum: General Discussions 25 Apr 2003, 16:42
Replies: 7
Views: 3,259
Posted By Jammers
According to GlobalSecurity...

According to GlobalSecurity (http://globalsecurity.org/wmd/world/dprk/images/pg7.gif) NK can hit Alaska and Guam using the Taep'o-dong 2 (http://globalsecurity.org/wmd/world/dprk/td-2.htm), although...
Forum: General Discussions 25 Apr 2003, 02:14
Replies: 30
Views: 3,605
Posted By Jammers
The Peoples Republic of Shildonia...

The Peoples Republic of Shildonia (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=shildonia)

I'm in a different region though so if you want to endorse me you'll have...
Forum: General Discussions 23 Apr 2003, 20:17
Replies: 23
Views: 2,997
Posted By Jammers
I nearly completed Half Life (well I got to the...

I nearly completed Half Life (well I got to the alien planet), but then I had to format my computer and lost my save file, and I'm damned if I'm gonna sit through that train ride again, even if it...
Forum: General Discussions 23 Apr 2003, 17:15
Replies: 15
Views: 2,798
Posted By Jammers
Sean Connery should play him in the inevitable...

Sean Connery should play him in the inevitable Hollywood blockbuster, in which George Galloway will be a Democrat Congressman, and it will be the New York Times that rumbles him.

Just like real...
Forum: General Discussions 16 Apr 2003, 13:16
Replies: 7
Views: 2,692
Posted By Jammers
bloody foreigners getting our telly, that we paid...

bloody foreigners getting our telly, that we paid for, for nothing.

:down:
Forum: General Discussions 16 Apr 2003, 00:27
Replies: 12
Views: 2,394
Posted By Jammers
sorry, ive deleted it.

sorry, ive deleted it.
Forum: General Discussions 16 Apr 2003, 00:14
Replies: 12
Views: 2,394
Posted By Jammers
he exibits all the symptoms of...

he exibits all the symptoms of Post-Narcoleptic-Depression.
I think that means he got out of the wrong side of the bed, or it may be something completely different.
Forum: General Discussions 16 Apr 2003, 00:06
Replies: 14
Views: 2,838
Posted By Jammers
Can I defect to your new Socialist\Capatalist...

Can I defect to your new Socialist\Capatalist Paradise. I could bring a band of mercenaries to help defend your brave nation.
Forum: General Discussions 15 Apr 2003, 21:11
Replies: 18
Views: 2,555
Posted By Jammers
Why should America have all the fun in trying...

Why should America have all the fun in trying terrorists. We can have perfectly good show trials in Britain, like outside the Tower of London, followed by a good ol' fashioned beheading, or maybe we...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Apr 2003, 21:26
Replies: 7
Views: 2,678
Posted By Jammers
The People's Republic of Shildonia "Peace...

The People's Republic of Shildonia
"Peace Through Tyranny"

UN Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights: Average
Economy: Frightening
Political Freedoms: Few

Location: Shildon
Forum: General Discussions 14 Apr 2003, 02:14
Replies: 9
Views: 2,490
Posted By Jammers
Run outside and be at one with the forces of...

Run outside and be at one with the forces of nature.
Forum: General Discussions 14 Apr 2003, 01:39
Replies: 9
Views: 2,580
Posted By Jammers
Jack Ryan didn't have any political acumen. He...

Jack Ryan didn't have any political acumen. He said China where like Nazis, totally messed up on abortions, then got drunk after China tried to nuke Washington.
If it wasn't for Arnie van Dam there...
Forum: General Discussions 14 Apr 2003, 01:31
Replies: 7
Views: 2,252
Posted By Jammers
My GP got sent to prison for fraudulently...

My GP got sent to prison for fraudulently obtaining drugs with the local pharmacist. Now his house\surgery has been demolished, probably without him knowing.
He also told a receptionist to get him...
Forum: General Discussions 13 Apr 2003, 23:15
Replies: 17
Views: 2,690
Posted By Jammers
Its easier to make a pun out of Willy Wonka than...

Its easier to make a pun out of Willy Wonka than it is out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ;)
Forum: General Discussions 13 Apr 2003, 22:44
Replies: 22
24
Views: 3,765
Posted By Jammers
hes been mentioned on BBC2, and last week on BBC...

hes been mentioned on BBC2, and last week on BBC Choice he made his grand entrance
Forum: General Discussions 13 Apr 2003, 22:12
Replies: 29
Views: 3,391
Posted By Jammers
Possibly. I know I have several stories about my...

Possibly. I know I have several stories about my adventures with the fairer sex, although I prefer not to talk about them, even though they were very short term things. (the longest was about 20mins,...
Forum: General Discussions 13 Apr 2003, 22:03
Replies: 29
Views: 3,391
Posted By Jammers
A gentleman does not kiss and tell.

A gentleman does not kiss and tell.
Forum: General Discussions 13 Apr 2003, 21:38
Replies: 17
Views: 2,690
Posted By Jammers
Quite possibly the best movie version of any of...

Quite possibly the best movie version of any of Roald Dahls books, with the possible exception of The BFG.
Forum: General Discussions 13 Apr 2003, 01:12
Replies: 12
Views: 2,461
Posted By Jammers
and only two people saw fit to comment on it....

and only two people saw fit to comment on it. There is no justice in this world.


PS: OLD \ó/
Forum: General Discussions 13 Apr 2003, 00:59
Replies: 22
24
Views: 3,765
Posted By Jammers
I like the 2nd series cos its much more realistic...

I like the 2nd series cos its much more realistic with arabs running amok with nukes and all. The only thing I don't like is how the BBC have now cancelled this weeks episodes to show golf and the...
Forum: General Discussions 12 Apr 2003, 15:52
Replies: 28
Views: 2,770
Posted By Jammers
Get invaded by Germany again and cry for help, or...

Get invaded by Germany again and cry for help, or failing that return former British lands in France to their rightful owners.
Forum: General Discussions 11 Apr 2003, 20:05
Replies: 31
Views: 2,920
Posted By Jammers
I actually liked Year 3000. Mainly cos its based...

I actually liked Year 3000. Mainly cos its based on Back to the Future, which is a good movie.
Forum: General Discussions 11 Apr 2003, 13:14
Replies: 24
Views: 2,905
Posted By Jammers
Correction. We allowed the Government to join the...

Correction. We allowed the Government to join the Common Market, which was full of lovely free trade and whatnot. We didn't allow them to violate our sovereignty like this.
Forum: General Discussions 11 Apr 2003, 13:11
Replies: 13
Views: 2,581
Posted By Jammers
I love his picture...

I love his picture (http://www.tom-watson.co.uk/archives/iraqminister.jpg) of Mohammed Saeed al Sahef
:e_chick:
Forum: General Discussions 11 Apr 2003, 13:05
Replies: 13
Views: 2,788
Posted By Jammers
The Imperialist Yanquis have stolen the website...

The Imperialist Yanquis have stolen the website in an attempt to opress his freedom of speech. I hope they are burned in the fiery furnace of an asbestos factory while their children are violated by...
Forum: General Discussions 11 Apr 2003, 12:59
Replies: 24
Views: 2,905
Posted By Jammers
So they shouldn't be allowed violate British...

So they shouldn't be allowed violate British sovereignty in this way.
I am now beginning to understand why Americans get paranoid about their federal Government, and at least they have limits set...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Apr 2003, 18:32
Replies: 24
Views: 2,905
Posted By Jammers
The disturbing thing is that the EU could...

The disturbing thing is that the EU could overturn British laws, even if that doesn't happen in this case.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Apr 2003, 18:25
Replies: 24
Views: 2,905
Posted By Jammers
Some of them already banned it, and so they would...

Some of them already banned it, and so they would already die, but Britain had legalised it. We could be a world leader in this field some day, but now thats in jeapordy because of selfish Europeons...
Forum: General Discussions 10 Apr 2003, 18:07
Replies: 24
Views: 2,905
Posted By Jammers
But why should they be made to die sooner because...

But why should they be made to die sooner because of something a Jewish guy said 2000yrs ago?
Forum: General Discussions 10 Apr 2003, 18:05
Replies: 40
Views: 3,051
Posted By Jammers
Africa was quite happy to be independant from...

Africa was quite happy to be independant from Britain et al. If they wanted help they should have thought about it before they ran away muttering some nonsense about independance.
Forum: General Discussions 10 Apr 2003, 17:56
Replies: 24
Views: 2,905
Posted By Jammers
EU condemns countless British People to die*

*Not entirely true (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2932421.stm)

It may be nice to have free trade with them, but when they start overturning our laws and condemning us to die from Parkinsons...
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