[**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

In XI format. Players you love to hate.



Cisse Ameobi

J. Cole Makalele Lampard Jenas

Konchesky Terry Hunt A. Cole

Lehmann

bunch of pricks

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Some kind of explanation would have been nice in this rehash thread.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

On second thoughts, leave the explanations out. The players as well, if possible.

I also find it interesting that both your top 11 hated players just happen to fit a conventional 4-4-2.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

so your contribution to this thread can be summed up as

"left! no right! no wait forget the whole thing." with a dose of pedantry.

Great posting as per usual, keep it up

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

It's "The above post is crap, it could be improved in the following way" followed by "The above post is crap even after it had been improved in the following way".

Raaargh I'm angry I'll post a list of footballers I hate for no reason, with no explanation given. And everyone will either love me for being angry or hate me for being angry which just makes me more angry! Deffeh smash!

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Maybe so, but any gimmick is better than the pointless pedantry you portray. Look, i used alliteration to ruin your shit. If theres anything "wrong" with the forums, its people attempting to contribute where they have nothing useful to say. Ie here, the big brother thread, etc. Longetivity doesnt make you less guilty of being crap

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

pointless post:

I hate them all with equal vitriol

/pointless post

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

What kind of explanations were you expecting? Having never *met any current Premiership footballers I couldn't give any personal reasons for not liking them so it was generic reasons but it seemed like a fun exercise so I went ahead anyway.

*I did see Stan Collymore in a Birmingham club once and a pissed lad came over to him and started playing keepy uppy with a bit of rolled up paper and said to him "Oi Stan! I bet you can't do this?" and Collymore replied to him by taking out a £50 note, setting it alight and saying "I bet you can't do this!"

And I also heard Lee Hendrie was in The Steering Wheel once throwing screwed up fivers over his shoulder because he "doesn't do fivers" but this could be cock and bull.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Drogba
Cisse
C. Ronaldo
Van Persie
Davids
Mido

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

To add some more content, here's an XI.

Didier Drogba

One of the worst divers (both in terms of actual diving ability and the amount he does it) that has ever graced the English game. He's also pretty bad at covering up his cheatingly ways, as the MOTD interview he did (Sometimes I cheat... I never cheat) shows. One of the more disappointing aspects is that he does have the ability to be a good player, as the final few Chelsea games of the season showed. If Mourinho lets him rot in the reserves, that's no bad thing.

Craig Bellamy, The **** Faced Boy

Unless you're a Blackburn fan (or possibly a Welsh Geordie), chances are you will dislike this fellow. Continually makes forward's challenges, dives and generally attempts to annoy the opposition fans.

Mary Poppins (Captain)

Alan Shearer. Delivers a short sharp elbow to the head to his opponents, then goes and whines to the referee when one does it back. It's a pity that he's retiring; he might get more television work, where he somehow manages to be more banal than Graeme Le Saux. The continuing lack of trophies at Newcastle only made it more amusing.

Lee Bowyer

An old school selection here. A racist who's so demented he manages to start a punch up against a member of his own team, in the middle of a game.

Robbie Savage

Not only manages to do (basically) the same as Bellamy from midfield, he also attempted to explain his move from Birmingham to Blackburn by claiming that he wanted to be "closer to Wrexham", rather than the actual reason (Mark Hughes, big piles of money). Birmingham is closer to Wrexham than Blackburn.

Roy Keane

He intentionally ended the career of a "fellow professional". No.

Arjen Robben

See: Didier Drogba. He's also a lazy dutch fool.

Pascal Chimbonda

Hooray! We've just had a successful first season in the Premiership, when many expected us to go down! I'd like to move to another club please!

Sol Campbell

He's been rubbish for years, but only recently has he become really rubbish. Also, moving from your nearest and dearest team which you supported since you were a boy I love this club to the more successful team next door marks you out a bit.

Ashley Cole

Again, football being killed by money. Abramovich money!

Shay Given

Aside from single handedly keeping Newcastle in the premiership, he signed for them immediately after coming off a spell on loan with us. He liked playing at Sunderland, so much he went up the road for a big cheque from Fat Freddy.

A 3-4-3, with a lack of creativity in the middle, and Chimbonda having to be a make-shift right back.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Ones based on football, rather than what people think of them? It's not Kirkland's fault he's injury prone, or was expected to be the "next big thing" (although his performances, when fit, did warrant that at the time). Picking another two players because they're "overrated"? And what the hell does "dirty dog" mean?

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Westerveld
Neill Terry Ben Haim Bridge
Lampard Butt Savage
Dickov Shearer Beattie

The biggest bunch of dirty bastards, cheat and down right twats I could come up with.

Weterveld - a complete ****sack when he played for us, shipped goals for fun and cost us about 6 points in 4 games early on. Quickly replaced by Ashdown and now released.

Neill - all round dirty bastard and a complete ****

Bridge - pure scum, complete shithead absolutely loved Gary O'Neil doing him over at the cottage and scoring after 32 seconds.

Terry - great defender, "dirty bastard"

Ben Haim - plays like ****sack, looks like a ****sack, kicks like a ****sack, is a ****sack

Lampard - overrated piece of shit who tries to behave like the model footballer, kisses the badge, so comes across like a complete ****sack. Will never be better than Gerrard.

Butt - dirty ****sack who likes to randomly kick out at players. Complete shithead to boot.

Savage - say no more.

Shearer - "didn't that player just elbow someone in the face?" "oh it's alan shearer" "clearly a dive from the other player" - ****sack, dirty and a scummer, probably the worst of the lot.

Dickov - flies like a butterfly, stings like a ****sack

Beattie - arrogant ****sack scummer who thinks he's the best striker in England who you just can't help but hate.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

I hope you deliberately used "portray" incorrectly there.

I'd have used intertextuality. Must more flexible.

You mean like Kura? :confused:

But being angry does, obviously.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

you see! that wasnt hard was it :)

Lehmann, for obvious reasons. Though i have to admit that im not too against him anymore. He played so well at anfield that he got clapped off by the kop, and he did superbly in the CL until the final. But hes still a diving, time wasting, german.

A. Cole for money reasons of course, but also because when asked whether he should play in the CL, or Flamini, who'd done so well, he said "it should deffo be me because ive played the last 2 games" and seemed pissed off anyone had even asked him the question

Nicky Hunt because hes just about the most violent center back still in the league

John Terry for his cheating, his hair, his hype, and his handballing. I would also like it if he dived less. He also screams like a girl (re chelski title celebrations, you can hear his clitoris throbbing)

If Konchesky wasnt a full back, he'd be in jail, hes a ned.

Joe Cole for captaining a great west ham side to relegation, consistently beating liverpool single handedly (what sweet revenge the semi final was!), being an arrogant little tosspot who cant stick to one position for an entire game, diving and denying it.

Makalele for making a career of diving on top of the ball and holding it when he loses the ball in midfield.

Lampard for injuring alonso and then getting up and signalling to the ref that alonso dived. He absolutely detests liverpool as well, his challenges vs the pool are always atrocious.

Jenas for being an overrated little shaven haired shitface. Im not english, but im very dissapointed he made the squad ahead of king, reo-coker etherington etc.

Cisse pretty much explains himself. He has more haircuts than goals. When hes subbed on for the last 5 minutes of a game hes so moody he doesnt even chase down the opposition. He doesnt look up, pass, or even aim his shots.

Ameobi is an underhand player, and hes absolutely ****ing shit. The fact he got 8 or 9 goals this year is a damning, damning blow on the premiership's center halfs

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

:)

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

An attacking 3-4-3 formation:

Lehmann
G.Neville Carvalho A. Cole
Savage Barton Wise Davies
Drogba Nistelrooy Baros

Lehmann is the only keeper that springs to mind, just because of his occasional anger when someone touches him
G. Neville. tosser.
Joey Barton. tosser chav and stubbing a cigarette into a teammates eye
Dennis Wise. comes from millwall
Drogba. Hate this kind of player
Van Nistelrooy. I hate this kind of player, and how he always gets the odd goal.
Ashley Cole. If he goes to Chelsea that is
Robbie Savage. 'Yeah im like harder than vinny jones'
Milan Baros. Shithead. Needs to be shot.
Kevin Davies. Generally.
Ricardo Carvalho. I hope he leaves the premiership

Subs:
Lee Bowyer
Cisse.
Dickov
Tim Cahill

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Ok, I'll stop being lazy.

Drogba - I hate his bad sportsmanship and cheating ways, be it diving, use of the hands or trying to get a fellow professional sent off he will do anything to gain an advantage over his opponents. While this could be a commendable attribute if he stayed within the laws of the game he has shown on many occasions his lack of respect for the rules or fair play.

Ronaldo - The thing I dislike about Ronaldo is the unnecessary tricks and flicks which is a waste of his obvious talents. I'm no Manchester United fan but I can imagine how frustrating it is to see him go clear down the wing and then wait for his marker to catch him so he can demonstrate his latest variation of the step over that he's been practicing all week. I don't think he is a team player, he just wants to look good and be a star, the sort of player I would rather not have on my team when I play.

Kewell - Harry Kewell is a strange one, he is obviously talented as he has shown in patches throughout his career but I doubt his hunger and he will always go missing when the team need him most. My dislike for Kewell can be summed up by when he went off 'injured' in the Champions League final as it looked like Liverpool were fighting a lost cause but being the fastest to sprint towards Dudek after Shevchenko hit a weak penalty and it was time to bask in the glory.

Savage - A classic case of a player who can dish it out but is the first to complain when he is on the receiving end. I don't really care for what went on with him and Birmingham because we all make excuses from time to time but on the pitch he manages to be a thug and a cry baby all at the same time which I find pathetic.

Scholes - A good midfielder but often regarded as the best of his generation, other peoples views of him do effect the way I feel about him especially " *chuckle* Oh good old Scholesy, he doesn't know how to tackle! *chuckle*" as he gets away with a blatantly mis-timed tackle which most other players would have seen a straight red for!

Robben - Good player on his day but also a cheat and master of histrionics summed up by going down from the faintest touch on his face by Reina. Be a man for gods sake!

Heinze - Often leads with his elbows and hacks his opponent down but seems immune to cards!

Terry - Continuously cheats on his fiancée (9 times in their 7 year relationship) the latest being some 17 year old he shagged in his Bentley but because he is English it is never mentioned and he comes across whiter then white. He is also allowed to use his hands in the area which I feel is a tad unfair.

Rio - Despite Manchester United sticking by him when he 'forgot' to take his drug test when many clubs would have probably cut their losses he still saw fit to string out his contract negotiations keeping fans guessing will he/ wont he sign a new deal. He thinks he is better then what he actually is and his greed doesn't sit well with me.

G.Neville - I have no doubts that the Neviller is England's best right back but does he has to pipe up every two seconds with his opinion on this and that, I for one don't care and wish he would stick to what he is good at and play football. Other incidents include trying to lead England players on strike because Rio forgot to pee and kicking seven bells out of Reyes with his brother Phil and getting away with it.

Kirkland - I don't hate Kirkland, I don't even dislike him but I am sick to death about hearing about how good he is and who is interested in him when it is obvious he is too injury prone to be in professional sport. I just wish people would shut up about him until he has managed to go a couple of months of playing without breaking something (see also Jonathan Woodgate).

I agree with the inclusion of Keane and Bowyer especially.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

I'd give CRonaldo the benefit of the doubt; whilst all these problems, and more, were apparant when he first came into English football, he was improving up until the death of his father at the start of the season.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Completely disagree.

When we signed him I wondered wtf we were doing but you can certainly see the difference in our performance when he's not involved.

King would have gone if he wasn't injured. He needs a groin operation.

You really think Etherington is a better option? Reo-coker could turn out decent but Jenas is still ahead of him at the minute.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

I'm ashamed of all of you for not mentioning El-Hadji Diouf. He spits at other players. That should say it all.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

I thought about Spit the Dog but had more important players to hurl bile at.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Jens Lehman - Yes, he has a good season. But hes still an overated kraut with an attitude problem in need of anger management. Hes a goal keeper, hes supposed to be calm, collected and reassuring, not a ****ing crack head in need of a fix.

Gary Neville - Arrogant prick. Apparently hates cockneys for what West Ham used to chant at Beckham, well theres a great reason to hate the whole of London you meat headed shitsack.

Ashley Cole - I wish he'd gone to Chelsea. I wish he'd still go to Chelsea. If you dont like playing for Arsenal, **** off, there are plenty of players who would love to play here.

Rio Ferdinand - Another case of money going to somebodys head. Is nowhere near the quality of defender he was when he was at West Ham, maybe if he spent more time training and less sticking blow up his nose he might get back to being a decent footballer.

John Terry - Cheat. Fat. Slow. Chav. Cheat.

Jermaine Jenas - Overated prick who started to believe his own press.

Kieron Dyer - See Jenas. I was so pleased when Bowyer punched the prick.

Jose Antonio ****ing Reyes - 3rd Arsenal player to make my list, strange for an Arsenal fan. He has bags of talent, shame he spends on average 20 minutes per match laying on his back being attended to by Gary Lewin, I think even Lewin is going to tell him to get the **** up soon.

Robbie Savage - Dont hate him that much, but I couldnt think of somebody I hate more to take his place. Thinks way too much of himself, will never amount of anything yet needs to run his mouth like he is some kind of footballing good.

Ruud Van Nistlerooy - I hope he ****s off in the summer. Infact, I hope he dies of aids, but I'll settle for him leaving the premiership. Hes a cheat, hes a crybaby cheat.

Wayne Rooney - Fat ****ing chav that we're all pinning our hopes on because he happens to be english. Lets all forget about his temper tantrums and piss poor attitude while wearing an england shirt.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

That story goes around every city around every star player.

In Liverpool, it was Fowler who did it
In Manchster, it was Lee Sharpe who did it.
In Birmingham, its Collymore, or Hendrie , or some other overpaid prick.

Etc Etc Ad Nauseum.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Drogba: because he's a cheating bag of balls.
Robben: (see above)
Lampard: I think he thinks that he's better than Gerrard.
Cisse: lazy arse.
Phil Neville: because he always seems to worm his way into the England side despite being worse than Owen Hargreaves.
C. Ronaldo: he's got stupid curly, dyed hair.

Couldn't quite think of eleven.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

It would be quite hard for the english football team to play him were he not english.

Scotland seems to have no trouble with this problem, however.

I don't think anyone forgets them - although he is getting better. it's more the fact that he's the best english footballer.

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

wait, hargreaves, owen. Yeah we're bad for it, but its not just us

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Wayne Rooney is Steven Gerrard?

Shit, thats a cool ****ing disguise, but its true, you never see them together!

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

GK : Edwin Van Der Sar - How can you say hes the new Schmeichel. Hes the new ****ing Massimo Taibi. Useless prick

DR : Gary Neville. Ive never understood a word he says so now he resorts to making gestures to communicate. Hes 1 step genetically from being an ape, and that step is his brother.

DC : Rio Ferdinand. £100k a week and you cant piss in a bottle. Get the **** out of dodge. Youre a druggie and you know it.

DC : John Terry. My team won the premiership, We couldnt win **** all else. For this theyre going to double my wages, so i can blow it all down the bookies. Buy a ****ing sportscar, in fact buy 10, just stop going on benders down the dogs.

DL : Alessandro Pistone. Never in my life have I seen a worse left back, on more money, and with less bottle, outside of a sunday league match. All the pace of stephen hawking, an uncanny resemblance, and milk turns quicker.

MR : Shaun Wright Philips. Midgets with attitude belong in a wrestling ring. Get some platform shoes and tell your dad to stop shouting about you being the next Geoff Hurst. Youre more like Damian.

MC : Pedro Mendes. Dont get cocky because you can shoot from 25 yards mate. You still couldnt tackle a fish supper, and you still cant trap a bag of spuds.

MC : Simon Davies. A footballer? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

ML : Ray Parlour. How useless do you have to be to be unable to get a game ahead of the worlds most negative midfielder (Boateng) , the worlds slowest midfielder (Doriva) and the worlds most frequently injured midfielder (Mendieta).. Youd have to be ... erm , Ray Parlour.

FC : Djibril Cisse. The worst finisher I have ever seen in my life. For all your pace mate, you couldnt score in a brothel with a £50 note strapped to your cock. And youre a wifebeater, a trait I utterly despise in men.

That said, I heard your wife changed her name by deed poll to Annette, so it would be the first one youd hit all season.

FC : Mark Viduka. Puddin faced, greeting arsed, scumbag mercenary. His landing from an overhead kick measures 6.2 on the richter scale. And he captains Australia into the World Cup this summer, so **** me, it can only get worse. Im not saying he has an ego, but even if he travels naked he has to pay excess baggage. Twunt!

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Mendes calms down our midfield like nothing else so i'm not quite sure what you're on about Kura :(

Re: [**** you] Your least favourite premiership players
 

Didier Black Man. Diving. Shit at football. Can't score. Fouling bastard. Part of a terrible footballing team.


Plus I'm racist!