Married to a Terrorist
 

I just returned from a vacation to New Hampshire in New England. Flew in to and out of Manchester.

I took my wife to see the fall foliage. In California it is green the year round. It was quite pretty.

Took a boat ride on Lake Winnipesaukee (common pronunciation).

A fine time was had by all then it was time to return home.

We arrived a few hour early as we were urged to so that we would have ample time to get through the inspections necessary before being allowed into the the boarding area for the planes.

We obediently put all lotions and pastes (limited to 3 ounce or smaller containers) into a one-quart see through baggy so that they could be inspected to insure that we weren't bringing on any bomb components disguised as toothpaste.

We separated out all of our metal objects and put them into a basket so that we could get through the metal detector.

We took off our shoes so that we could be seen not to have explosives contained in our shoes.

We took off our coats so they could be cleared for weapons.

Confidently we went through the metal detector and put our shoes back on.

It was then that they pulled my wife aside and told her that her handbag had tested positive for explosives. Nitroglycerine was detected on the bag.

"Do you have medication?" "erm, no."

"Then how did the nitroglycerine get on your purse?" My wife was begining to get a bit perturbed by this point. "There isn't any nitroglycerine on or in my purse."

"Then why is it testing positive?"

"A very good question but how am I supposed to know," the wife replies.

"We are going to have to pat you down."

"Pat away!"

The screener determined that it may have been glycerine in her hand lotion which had gotten on the bag's handle and given a false positive. However, despite that, an "Incident Report" had to be filled out. My wife was informed that she would be put in a computer and should the incident be repeated that she would be investigated and potentially placed on the "No Fly" list.

My wife is a white woman of mature years (somewhere sllightly beyond middle age). Now, she may be labled as a terrorist.

I found the entire adventure rediculous and mildly amusing.

My wife was somewhat less amused.

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

i find it amusing that they dont realise just how volatile nitroglycerine is.
a handle is the LAST place you want to put it.
only someone incompetant would believe there was really nitroglycerine on it, rather then a simple false positive

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

I went through a similar inspection in the US. Those guys confiscated my $50 colone. I was pissed. Soon they will be checking up our butts to make sure nothing explosive is placed there.

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

I don't care how new your England, Manchester is not in Hampshire

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

Trust me, on a bad morning after a night of beer and chicken hot wings, checking up my ass for an explosion is possibly the easiest way to get a facelift this side of Beverley Hills.

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

The plane checks aren't as stringent as that here (in my experiences) - they just put you through a scanner and if you don't bleep then you aren't a terrorist!

Being put on that list must be a real laugh :(

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

Except when you look back over your shoulder with a grin on your face

:(

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

well i allways knew women were dangerous :-)

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

Who says white middle-aged middle-class can't be disgruntled with society and turn to terrorism for solace?

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

On the Richard and Judy show (I watched it once), apparently Judy gets picked out in all the random checks as a middle aged white well known woman. Richard never gets done.

And tbh, if there are all these checks, why aren't suicide bombers just swallowing stuff and letting it explode later? Make it out of some sort of plastic..

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

richard should have been 'done', and sentanced after his ali-g impression :(

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

richard madeley is a hero considering he has to put up with that woman.

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

On my back from aus i had a 2.1 litre bottle of lemon squash i thought i would not be able to take it with me yet amazingly i got on both planes with it, all they asked was for me to drink some to prove it was not an explosive, i mean cmon if i was a terrorist going to blow up the plane drinking a little explosive would not really bother me tbh.

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

When I went to Munich (about a month ago) I was very annoyed that I had to pass my water over to the security guys to be thrown away.

All they said was I can buy more on the other side. But I got my 2 litres from Tesco for under a pound before I left. At duty free WH Smiths it cost me £2.50 for a litre.

Robbing bastards :(

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

In my wife's case, the liklihood would be that she would blow me up.

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

What is sad is that peanuts are one of the components of dynamite. Are they now testing for peanuts as a potential explosive element?

Re: Married to a Terrorist
 

How dare they so mistreat a Lady.

Shameless dogs.