Self-Definition
 

OK, so I kind of know this girl who lives in halls. As a disclaimer I should state right now that I don't know her that well.

She is a lesbian. I have noticed that she tends to define herself in terms of being a lesbian, a lot of her friends are lesbians and a lot of the talk revolves around the subject of being lesbian.

Now, I'm not sure if this is some kind of 'rebellion' after coming out or whatever and I'm curious to know if any of you define yourself by one particular aspect of your character or if you know someone who does? Did it happen over time, or was it a sudden change where one thing seemed to dominate their every move?

I'm not talking here about being obsessed with one particular aspect for a length of time, I myself have been very interested in the work of Woody Allen for several months and as a result I find myself constatly making references to his work in everyday life. Maybe this is the answer I'm looking for, maybe being immersed in a certain environment causes that environment to impact on your actions in certain ways, maybe not. Maybe it's some other pehenomenon entirely.

I should also note that see seems to be a nice person and doesn't go about trying to extol the image of a lesbian, in the same way that someone might if they wanted to be considered an 'artist' or a 'geezah' or whatever stereotypes kids adopt these days.

Re: Self-Definition
 

Didn't Deffeh make a very similar post to this once about pigeon holing? Or is that the point that's being made here?

How you see yourself is constructed by interaction with the world every day. As I've mentioned before, there is a set of twin boys in my (extended) family and when they were young they were constantly defined in terms of the other one. So one was continually taught he was smart but effeminate, the other was strong but stupid. It's probable that on some level they'll carry that idea with them, since these are vague notions anyway.

As I've also said, I suspect individual choices have a cumulative and eventually run-away effect. I did once make a conscious decision to wear black since I seemed to be functionally colour blind. That was over a decade ago, and since then I've (for a range of reasons) ended up going to goth club nights for the last couple of years, listening to EBM, etc.

Finally, as you say, when you get something new in your life, you want to talk to people about it. I do this all the time with new tv shows and stuff, sometimes to the point where the people I know will go and watch the show due to my subliminal marketing powers. And this is better for me since conversations are vastly superior if the person understands / has been there before. So you end up hanging out with people in a particular scene. I imagine if I took up regular heroin use then I'd want to hang out with similar minded people so we could discuss shoplifting or whatnot. "Normal" people are either not going to fully appreciate what you're on about or will judge you when you mention you push an old lady down a stairwell for her pension. Lifestyle=>Peer Group=>More Focused Lifestyle=>Potentially More Closed Peer Group....etc.

(Of course there are those on the lunatic fringe of social thinking who say that self-identifying as gay and being a smack head aren't exactly synonomous, but hopefully you get the idea.)

Re: Self-Definition
 

What All Systems Go described is very similar to people at church when you see them outside of Church. They still talk continuously about the church or God and define themselves that way.

I guess that people want to fit in and feel like they belong to something until something else catches their interest. The laymen’s term for this sociological idea is "Going Native" where people will assume the clothing, characteristics, mannerisms, etc of another group of people. Sometimes its permanent and sometimes its like a fad. I never really was a joiner throughout most of my life so even at church I don’t tend to fit in but I can almost understand the appeal to people to feel like part of a clique or crowd.

Re: Self-Definition
 

When I'm talking to teachers we talk about teaching and schools and stuff. It's pretty depressing.

Re: Self-Definition
 

Does that lesbian chick actually talk about being lesbian to everybody she knows? Because that must be very frustrating.
Usually I'd think people just "define" themselves when they're in a certain group rather than actually define themselves the same way in all the groups they hang with.

This thread made me sad though, I started thinking about how I define myself and I can't come up with anything, not even if I look at it based on the groups I hang with.
I work with computers for a living but when people start talking about computers at the pub or something I just shut up and try not to mix with the conversation. I don't wanna mix work with pleasure. :(

Re: Self-Definition
 

You are a product of your surroundings. Every human tends to adapt to the humans arround him (this could be friends, icons - stars in general, well known people.)

I have seen people who change complete behavior because of new friends, new workplace etc.

Re: Self-Definition
 

I define myself as being someone who CAN"T BLOODY BEAT SONGS ON HARD IN GUITAR HERO GOD DAMMIT!!

I so want to be a rock legend. :(

Re: Self-Definition
 

You really need to get a t-shirt which says 'TEACHER' on it. Trust me.

Re: Self-Definition
 

I considered defining myself as a communist but realized I might wind up spending too much time talking commie stuff with Zhukov so abandoned the idea.

Re: Self-Definition
 

isn't the better lesson that deffeh can not change anything?

Re: Self-Definition
 

I could always slander you for beeing a trotskyist or something :)