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-   -   How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!) (https://pirate.planetarion.com/showthread.php?t=190492)

Tomkat 31 Jan 2006 20:36

How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
When I was in Exeter a couple of weekends ago, we ended up in a nightclub.

Lots of drunk students around, so hormones were running high.

So were emotions.

We spotted this girl in the corner who was having a big argument with her (we assume) boyfriend. We didn't know either of them.

Now being kind, caring and considerate gentlemen (and because we were drunk and it was funny) we captured the immortal moments of the dumping on digital camera.

I apologise for there being an arm in the 2nd picture, and my friend's head in the 3rd. We had to do it covertly, so pretended to take pictures of each other, and then move the camera quickly to follow the events occurring.

Pay close attention now:

Picture 1 - Realisation. She's just been hit with the news, and is breaking down. He isn't sure what to do, so is trying to soften the blow. (plus cameo from my friend Tim)

Picture 2 - Anger.
She's let it sink in now, and how DARE he dump her? Check out that CLAW!! That's pure hatred right there, fellas.

Picture 3 - Acceptance.
The anger has passed now, and she's almost apathetic. It's over, and she realises it. The guy is just wondering if it'd be inappropriate for him to stop sitting with her now, and try to pull her friend.


So there you go guys. Prepare for the three stages - especially stage 2 (I can't get over the claw) - Realisation, Anger and Acceptance.

Nodrog 31 Jan 2006 20:37

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
1) find a girlfriend

Phang 31 Jan 2006 20:39

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
your friend is ugly.

Marv 31 Jan 2006 20:40

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
you so need to find yourself some action dude....

Tomkat 31 Jan 2006 20:42

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phang
your friend is ugly.

I'll let him know!!

pig 31 Jan 2006 20:44

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Genius, ill try it out if "we are still friends" come friday or I could try jbgs suggestiong of cumming in her eye whilst telling her shes dumped, plus recording it.

Phang 31 Jan 2006 20:48

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomkat
I'll let him know!!

:up:

roadrunner_0 31 Jan 2006 20:51

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
tomkat, youre a bastard, but youre my kind of bastard :)

Androme 31 Jan 2006 21:25

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Is it me or does she seem quite fiesty and attractive when she does that claw thing? With her mood at the time, sex would only be advised if you can handle the claw.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pig
Genius, ill try it out if "we are still friends" come friday or I could try jbgs suggestiong of cumming in her eye whilst telling her shes dumped, plus recording it.

After sex go "well that was shit". Real mind-blower will leave them freaked out for weeks :cool: :up:

lancer 31 Jan 2006 21:37

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
You are all heartless bastards.

Tomkat 31 Jan 2006 21:41

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
lancer isn't doing so well at this "fitting in on the forums" thing :(

Stifler 31 Jan 2006 21:44

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
harsh but funny :up:

lancer 31 Jan 2006 21:45

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
I believe, in order to do that I need to look at someone's pain and have fun. Sorry, I am still human.

hyfe 31 Jan 2006 21:46

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Yeah, lancer used 'You are' instead of 'your' even though 'You are' was clearly the correct form.

Somebody ought to tell him.

cypher 31 Jan 2006 21:53

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
lol that's ace tk:))

JonnyBGood 31 Jan 2006 21:56

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lancer
I believe, in order to do that I need to look at someone's pain and have fun. Sorry, I am still inhumanly shit.

True dat my nigga!

BlacK_Bengudo 31 Jan 2006 22:17

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
lol
pretty good
:D

Dead_Meat 31 Jan 2006 22:30

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lancer
Sorry, I am still human.

Your mom's grunting last night clearly shows this statement to be false.

isildurx 31 Jan 2006 22:30

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Nice post!


Classy pic of yer mate there too :D

s|k 31 Jan 2006 22:31

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
One day when you're all older, it may be possible that you'll regret all this foolishness. There will be no officinal later in life.

Dead_Meat 31 Jan 2006 22:32

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by isildurx
Nice post!


Classy pic of yer mom there too :D

Edited for great justice!

Blastoderm 31 Jan 2006 22:32

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
If I'm honest, that's something I would do.

Nice TK.

madi 31 Jan 2006 22:43

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
i quite fancy her, she looks all passionate and emotional and has a great mouth

Dead_Meat 31 Jan 2006 22:48

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
OMG REAL-LIFE INTERNET FEMALE IN 'ACTUALLY I'M ALSO A LESBIAN' PRAISE GOD FOR HE IS GOOD ALLAH ACKBAR SHOCKAR!

IncubusGod 31 Jan 2006 23:03

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Hah. That's quite funny actually, and quite a public place for such a thing.
:up:

Ste 31 Jan 2006 23:04

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
I would like to point something out:

In pic 1 her legs are crossed.
In pic 2 they aren't but the angle is too high
In pic 3 the angle is better but THERE IS A ****ING UGLY FACE IN THE WAY

I hope there were other pics :(

Dace 1 Feb 2006 00:06

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
****ing genius TK though ...

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Tomkat again."

****!

roadrunner_0 1 Feb 2006 00:47

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
Your mom's grunting last night clearly shows this statement to be false.


DM ****ed a pig! DM ****ed a pig!

Ste 1 Feb 2006 00:55

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
A Derby county fan walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:

"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find
that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you !

midge5 1 Feb 2006 04:20

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ste
A Derby county fan walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:

"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find
that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you !

Substitute Derby for Welsh

isildurx 1 Feb 2006 06:09

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
F***ing wankers givin out negrep for no particular reason sucks.

s|k 1 Feb 2006 06:30

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by isildurx
F***ing wankers givin out negrep for no particular reason sucks.

...and whining about it only get's you more. :/ Wait until you have a page full like I never did! Then you can complain. Yes I photoshopped that page of neg reps for false sympathy, I'm that pathetic. :D

Radical Edward 1 Feb 2006 09:50

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomkat
When I was in Exeter a couple of weekends ago, we ended up in a nightclub.

Lots of drunk students around, so hormones were running high.

So were emotions.

We spotted this girl in the corner who was having a big argument with her (we assume) boyfriend. We didn't know either of them.

Now being kind, caring and considerate gentlemen (and because we were drunk and it was funny) we captured the immortal moments of the dumping on digital camera.

I apologise for there being an arm in the 2nd picture, and my friend's head in the 3rd. We had to do it covertly, so pretended to take pictures of each other, and then move the camera quickly to follow the events occurring.

Pay close attention now:

Picture 1 - Realisation. She's just been hit with the news, and is breaking down. He isn't sure what to do, so is trying to soften the blow.

Picture 2 - Anger. She's let it sink in now, and how DARE he dump her? Check out that CLAW!! That's pure hatred right there, fellas.

Picture 3 - Acceptance. The anger has passed now, and she's almost apathetic. It's over, and she realises it. The guy is just wondering if it'd be inappropriate for him to stop sitting with her now, and try to pull her friend.


So there you go guys. Prepare for the three stages - especially stage 2 (I can't get over the claw) - Realisation, Anger and Acceptance.

shit man, that is brilliant. take a terrible moment of someone's life, when they are being turned from a happy girl on a night out to an emotional wreck, and spread it all over the internet..

for this, you earn many kudos.

Radical Edward 1 Feb 2006 09:55

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
a couple of other notes. I think the smiley hat on the table is a really nice touch. kind of like a teddy bear in an aircraft wreckage. was the red eye in pic 2 photoshopped, or is that her natural hate coming out?

Kurashima 1 Feb 2006 10:02

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
"Shes got a great mouth" ?

ONLY IF SHES A HERBIVORE AND NEEDS THOSE HUGE ****ING TEETH TO EAT LEAVES OFF THE BRANCHES OF TREES!

:rolleyes:

JammyJim 1 Feb 2006 10:19

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
how can any of you possibly find her attractive :(

Radical Edward 1 Feb 2006 10:34

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JammyJim
how can any of you possibly find her attractive :(

because they know she is single, weak and vulnerable.

roadrunner_0 1 Feb 2006 11:00

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
she would also have to be significantly better looking than that before i would go anywhere near her tbh

Radical Edward 1 Feb 2006 11:16

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
she would also have to be significantly better looking than that before i would go anywhere near her tbh

but if she was better looking, she probably wouldn't have looked like

this

then

this

and finally

this

and you wouldn't have been in with a chance.

Belgarath The Sorcerer 1 Feb 2006 11:24

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JammyJim
how can any of you possibly find her attractive :(

alcohol + poorly lighted nightclub = terrible regret in the morning

Kurashima 1 Feb 2006 14:38

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Belgarath The Sorcerer
alcohol + poorly lighted nightclub = terrible regret in the morning


See Wikipedia references to "Nodrog and Jenny"

lokken 1 Feb 2006 14:42

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kurashima again.

Radical Edward 1 Feb 2006 14:42

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
no page with that title exists :(

Radical Edward 1 Feb 2006 14:46

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
though using the power of wikipedia, I just discovered that Jenny is a slang term for vagina.

Kurashima 1 Feb 2006 14:58

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Radical Edward
no page with that title exists :(


This would have been rectified. However thanks to recent legal threats, Wikipedia does not allow new users to upload items it appears :(

Otherwise this would have been an entry

Quote:

Nodrog And Jenny

The "Nodrog and Jenny" scenario began within the Planetarion community.

Whilst the names used are internet pseudonyms, both individuals have been physically witnessed to exist by others within the community.

"Nodrog" was originally considered a witty and intelligent player who mastered the early rounds of Planetarion with some ease.

"Jenny" was originally considered to be a plumber from Leeds pretending to be a female on the internet to create "teh lol".
]
Within the confines of the Planetarion "General Discussions" noticeboard, the relationship between the two individuals flourished over a period of several years, before "Real Life" issues forced the pair to seperate.

Both are fiercely private about the details over the seperation, which has led to much ridicule and speculation as to what happened and why this internet relationship eventually failed.

"Nodrog" does not have any siblings within the Planetarion Community

"Jenny" is related to board poster "Radical Edward"

Radical Edward 1 Feb 2006 15:48

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
:D

well there is always the planetarion entry, for great justice

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planetarion

Ste 1 Feb 2006 16:48

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
http://www.clawofdarkness.com/pawiki...ral_Discussion

Deepflow 1 Feb 2006 17:12

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
that page is right, I am quite amiable. In fact, it seems to be utterly correct on every single point :o

God bless the wiki format: freedom from corruption, impartiality, and codified in stone!

Nadar 1 Feb 2006 18:38

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
That was amazing Tomkat :D Guess tip of the day is to always carry a camera ;)

MrL_JaKiri 1 Feb 2006 19:15

Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow
that page is right, I am quite amiable. In fact, it seems to be utterly correct on every single point :o

I don't use a dictionary :eng101:

Which shows sometimes, especially recently.


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