My life never seems straightforward.......
 

I know some of you wont believe the following but the events are actually true and i need some advice as i am a bit down at the moment and also a bit irrational........

Recently my girlfriend and i have been having some problems(mainly due to her excessive drinking) and at the weekend it all came to a head.

I met a girl 14 years ago when i was a nipper and we hit it off, we settled together, got the house, had the children life was just dandy then out of the blue we grew up and grew apart. My life was over, i thought i wouldn't ever find another partner(depression hits when u loved someone) but i did completely the wrong thing, straight after the split i hopped into bed with an ex-girlfriend from my youth(extremely hot and horny) we got on like a house on fire but if i was honest with myself i never trusted her.

We carried on seeing each other for four years even though i realised she had a drink problem (dont know if it was love or just clinging on) but recently the drinking hacked me off so much i moved out. After a week or two and her claiming her undying love for me and vowing to change we started becoming close again, until that is i found out she had met someone off the internet and found her out(didnt find anything rude, just caught them in each others company) her family found out about this and everyone has disowned her (for some reason they all thought the sun shone out of my proverbial). Now my dilemna is this.......this guy is a drinker, since Saturday when i found out they have been constantly drinking and it has become apparent that he is controlling her (confiscating her mobile...keeping her drunk.....and poisoning her mind) he has alienated anyone and everyone she associated with and wont leave her side for a single second. I have spoken with her but hes been there everytime trying to direct her but she is giving off signals saying "help me"

My dilemna is this......on Sunday i was so down so my brother took me out for an afternoons drinking session. All was going well i was getting well-oiled and forgetting my problems when he suggested we went up the street to "watch the strippers" in my state i thought it was a good idea. Two strippers performed, i remember the first she was very very hot, the second i couldnt pick out in an identity parade. During the second act i got dragged onto stage and let the girl strip me naked and pour candlewax everywhere(silly silly boy)
I awoke the next morning with a stinking hangover and covered head to toe in the wax and noticed a text message on my phone, i asked my brother who the message is off and apparently the second stripper had been suitably impressed and asked him for my number but as i said i cant even remember what she looked like, she has been texting me non stop for 3 days but as you can imagine im trying to keep my distance as i am a bit screwed up right now and also the fact that strippers dont really have the best reputations.

I spoke to my ex-gf today(shes still being shadowed by this guy) and she wants to meet but i doubt very much he will give her the space to(the guy is a loser and i dont mean to be shallow but even if me and her parted for good he is incapable of holding onto her and he knows it(hes a bit of an ug))

I spoke to the stripper today and shes keen but i was a bit gutted when she told me the first stripper(the one i can remember and i know was hot) wouldnt speak to her all the way home because she wanted my number.

My problem is im heartbroken, weak and beaten at the moment (for all my ex's problems i did love her deeply)

do i .....

#1 Hang on until my ex snaps out of her problems and be there to support her(though this is risky as i may get heartbroken all over again)

#2 Go out with the stripper and hope shes hot and caring.
#2a Try and get the hot strippers number

#3 Neither of the above and wallow in my own self pity for a while and try to snap myself out of it before looking for another partner.

My weakness is im afraid to be alone, i like having someone .

I know you probably think its a lame thread but im confused right now and dont know which way to turn and would appreciate advice.

Re: My life never seems straightforward.......
 

#3

If you don't solve your own problems first, you aren't going to be any good at solving someone else's in the long run.

Make sure that you don't drop into drinking problems yourself.

You NEED to be alone and not jumping into another relationship until you are sure what you want out of it. Getting into another relationship or back in to an old one just because you don't want to be alone is not likely to work out very well. It didn't last time you tried it.

Be strong (or at least fake it, maybe you can fool yourself).

Good luck.

Re: My life never seems straightforward.......
 

After a hideous split up with one of my ex's my boss told me to forget about women and throw myself into my work, at the time I thought you would say that as you want more work from me but it turned out to be a great bit of advice. Whilst I was working I was too busy to think about my heartache and after work I just used to mope around, a few months down the line the pain eased and things didn't seem so bad and I started to get on with my life.

I would suggest you steer clear of relationships for a while and find something to keep yourself busy with, I find things have a tendancy to sort themselves out given time.

Re: My life never seems straightforward.......
 

tl;dr

Re: My life never seems straightforward.......
 

#1 and #3 seem fairly complementary, but how are you not going for #2?

PS #2a seems like one of those traps women leave. I'm paranoid.

Re: My life never seems straightforward.......
 

The stupid thing is i know you guys are probably right and i should steer clear right now i just have a yearning for affection. Maybe you are right, ignore my phone ignore my feelings and get some hobbies. Its going to be a long hard battle but i have to start trying.

Thanks Guys.

Re: My life never seems straightforward.......
 

immerse yourself in the world cup and you'll quickly forget your troubles!
(if you live near manchester then i'm looking for a drinking partner for some of the matches!)