Your Dream Job
 

As unrealistic as possible.


For me, personally, my dream job would be Wrestling Bad Guy. The main heel, the main shithead. I'd ****ing love it. I'd probably orgasm on the spot at thousands of people from all sides shouting at me, swearing at me, cursing me, threatening to kill me, and me standing protected in a ring bating them

**** me thatd be awesome. The sheer hatred i could bring out in people using my natural arrogance.. at the end of my career id have to move into Witness Protection.

I've even thought it out - i'd be Robbie "The Schoolboy" Fergusson. I'd befriend people and then schoolboy them at the least plausible moment for no other thrill than that of ****ing someone up. My finishing move would be "The Schoolboy Error" though im not sure what it encompasses. I'd also like to be the rather meagre (in comparison) size i am at the moment, just to make people hate me even more.

I can but dream.

How about you?

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Work from home, and no one from work knows my address, telephone number , mobile number or email.

The only thing they know will be my bank ac number and sort code so they can send oodles of cash every month


hehehe I have a dream..

Re: Your Dream Job
 

There is no such thing as a dream job for me, I dream of spending the days jobless while still have the finance posibilities to do what I want and go where I want to go.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

astronaut :cool:

Re: Your Dream Job
 

gigilo except that my clients are only the fittest women in the world (in my opinion obviously).
Getting paid to have sex with beautiful (and ONLY beautiful) women would be :up:

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Football manager.

If I don't do well, I get more money!

Re: Your Dream Job
 

God.

(And yes I've seen Bruce Almighty)

Although bein an astronaut would be really cool as well - I'd love to look down on the whole of earth in a physical way!

Re: Your Dream Job
 

king of my own country

POWER TRIP AHOY

or a pirate

i could say "yarrr" all day and i woundn't get any funny looks

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Football manager or Male Gigolo(to sexy/bisexual women.)

p.s. Extremely Well paid Beta Tester for Codemasters or Blizzard.
p.p.s I almost applied for Codemasters even though I'd to have had of moved etc but in the end I didn't and fate smiled on me anyway :P

Re: Your Dream Job
 

My top 6 (not necessarily in order)

1. Political Philosophical author / speaker.
Especially the latter. The idea of being paid to hear the sound of my own voice makes me positively weak at the knees.

2. Lecturer
Similar to the above, although you'd have to deal with retards (bad). But some of these retards would be nubile young ladies (good).

3. Punk rock front man
I'm not musical, and have no charisma, but this is unrealistic right? A combination of expressing myself (see above) and getting to jump round like a retard.

4. Night club owner
A billion bonus sleaze points.

5. Game developer.
I once developed through the ideas for an RPG with a few of my friends. It's probably one of the projects I've had most fun doing, despite the fact it got nowhere.

6. Comic / Book / Geek merchandise store owner
Chance to read comics / books all day and converse with other geeks.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

I doubt it would really be that hard to become a male gigalo, just go to the gym heavily for a few years and work on becoming more charismatic. If it's actually your dream job then you might as well try for it.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

And I dont really have a 'dream' job. I could imagine myself being really happy doing quite a few things, as long as I found them nteresting, intellectually challenging, demanding, and they gave me quite a lot of autonomy and 'room to move' as it were. Also it would have to be a job where people I think are morons don't have significant power over me. An academic job would be cool, but there's also a few positions in the real world that would probably be good as well.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

I dont see why you couldnt do this.
You should do this.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Footballer.

Football is my life, playing for Rovers in whatever league has always been my dream.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

worth emphasis.

Anyway, clearly opinion editor for a newspaper or a columnist of some sort.

I also agree with Dante on 4 5 and 6. But I'd rather no one ever saw me, so the first three are outish.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

i'd be a Games Developer (which is actually what i intend to do) or a British Army Officer

Re: Your Dream Job
 

army? euch.

id be a recreational drugs test subject.

failing that, a professional go player (lollyroffle, its nice to have a dream, even if you know youll never be good enough)

failing that, some kind of job in the care industry, which im probably going to get anyway. Where i can feel at the end of the day that i 'made a difference' to peoples lives. But as this was a 'dream' job, all my co workers would be fantastic people too, which just doesnt happen.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

some sort of tyrant

Re: Your Dream Job
 

space pimp clearly yes

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Ok mine would be to play for Liverpool FC, and be so damm good that I could win all the trophys for them.
Also I would have Keira Knightley as my wife and MIscha Barton as my 2nd wife. ( Ill be a mormon ffs).

Then in my part time I would test games. And also make a few Hollywood Films. And have a music career.

Then when i'm too old to play football (lets say 45, cos im so damm l33t) i will start up a brilliant company which everyone uses and knows. Yet to be decided. Then when im in late 50's i'll divorce Keira and Mischa as they will be a bit old and remarry Emma Watson. Also when im 70ish ill go to the undying lands and have "fun" with the sexy elven ladys (aka Arwen and others). That is all :)

More a life than a job but hey.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

when i'm 50 i plan on marrying britney's granddaughter. but that's not really a job now is it?

Re: Your Dream Job
 

heh

Re: Your Dream Job
 

What does the verb "to schoolboy" mean?

My dream job would be hunter-killer cyborg.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

yeah i was just about to add some type of action hero. hunter killer cyborg might be the best way to go, given that in real life terrorists probably have better aim than terrorists in Bond movies.

i definitely would like to shoot people, but I'd also like to get it on with Tyra Banks at the end of the day so I'm not sure if there's any cyborg/Banks conflicts but I'm hoping they get resolved before I grow up.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Im assuming you are around 20

britney spears isnt even 25. She is unlikely to have a kid for another 5 years.

So you will be 25 when she gets a child

Lets assume that kid grows up and has children at 25-30 years.

You will be 50-55 years old when britney spears has her first grand child.

You will be marrying an infant.

Paedo! :p

Re: Your Dream Job
 

you were born in 1980.... britney in '81

britney is not pregnant so the earliest she could have a child is age 24 - born 2005

you will be 50 in 2030. If Britney's earliest possible child had a child herself at a mere age 16 (2021) she'd only be 9 years old when you plan on marrying her.

dammit, totally EFB by Zar

Re: Your Dream Job
 

efb?

Re: Your Dream Job
 

a forum abbreviation meaning "Edit: F**k, Beaten"

Re: Your Dream Job
 

i was fixing on younger than nine, but that is still tighter than i'd thought (GET IT?? LOL).

I wouldn't actually have sex with her until she was of a decent age. But, as the crazy guy from Utah will tell you, if you kidnap them when they are very young you can mold them however you want. Which is of course the entire point of having children (the molding, not the sex). So for a few years I just sow some wild oats, and then I come into my own with the perfect wife molded to perfectly fit my every need (kind of like playing the stock market, it's all about investment and patience). And yes, I know what you're thinking, "How dare you cheat on your poor kidnapped prepubescent wife!" Why don't you **** off back to seminary preacher boy. Anyway, and when she turns thirty or so I'll have another granddaughter ready and trained to take over (not my own, that would be immoral).

But this all getting off the jobs topic, and using the Britney segue I'd like to point out that with both Britney and JLo (who tbh I am entirely unattracted to) marrying back up dancers recently you really have to put "back up dancer to an attractive, slutty, rich, and especially confused female vocalist" near the top of any dream job list.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Something challenging.
Yet at the same time, something i could also not have to do when i couldnt be arsed, eg, having a bad day, then it doesnt need to be challenging.
Something without an idiot as a boss, or idiots alongside me heirarchicly.
scratch that, I'd be the boss, and only people who worked ****ing hard, and understood my work ethic would be promoted, this would filter downwards, and idiots, or people only in it for the money would be out of a job sharpish.
Something in advertising or PR maybe/ Film / media

Re: Your Dream Job
 

My job is almost perfect, apart from the travelling malarkey. When that finishes, I'll be spending my days organising other people's work schedules, testing out new broadband applications, like video streaming, VoIP, games, etc. and talking to customers about how to use these applications and then helping them install the backbone of the network to do it all.

Interesting, stimulating, a bit of power and a cosy home with a wife and baby to go home to at the end of the day, with some travelling thrown in when I feel like it.

Shame I'm stuck in a crappy hotel in Ohio at the moment doing a crappy install where noone knows what the **** they're supposed to be doing and I have 6 days to install 5 sites before the company start throwing lawsuits around.

Oh well, in time, all will be good...

Re: Your Dream Job
 

where in ohio? i'll be driving across ohio friday. and on to a wedding saturday somewheres in kentucka.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Clearly Britney's daughter would have a child at age 12.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

I'm in Wheeling, near St Clairsville.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Well, although this is a dumb answer... i would love to get paid to wank0r.... im good at it... i mean, i havnt seen a vagina since i was born... so ive gotten a lot of practive... 20k a year would be nice.. like a side-wankoring job.. then i could work and Mc Donalds or something and get fat, the burn it off by wankoring..


Or maybe i could sell "wank your way to a wonderfull body" exersize tapes.. See, the possibilities are endless if you use your knob the right way.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Think bigger. Earn lots of money by being some sort of superrockstar, then BUY rovers!

And then Saviola and Tevez, assuming this is in 8 years or so.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

own a bookshop, where i wouldnt actually ever have to do anything, just sit around and read/play on computer/generally chill out

i know its sad but hey

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Own the worlds first combination book shop/computer shop/wine bar.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

I'd rather go for a T1000 look myself. Cyborgs are all well and good, but all those messy organic bits ruin the fun.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

do it

Re: Your Dream Job
 

OH MY GOD, ITS THE SCHOOLBOY ERROR! THE SCHOOLBOY HAS SCHOOLBOYED HIS FRIEND OF 4504522323 YEARS FOR A LAUGH! THE HUMANITY!

The verb "to schoolboy" means humiliating someone, tricking them in a way that they make some sort of error, when they least expect it.

If you make a "schoolboy error" youve made a basic or rookie mistake somehow.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

my dream job would involve autonomy, variety and a very large wage packet

and maybe vin diesel as one of my personal assistants

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Dream job...Rock star and damn successful music writer/producer.
Though I would prob get sick of music for a period of time before being able to go back to it so I'd have to be Hugh Hefner.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

I'd like to be the man that wipes Schumachers visor during his pit stops in the GP, that looks like a quality profession.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Oo Oo Jennifer Garners sex slave. Working pro boner ;)

Re: Your Dream Job
 

You should write to him and tell him, I bet he doesnt realise that this is some peoples DREAM job, not just somat thats cool!

Re: Your Dream Job
 

rally driver

Re: Your Dream Job
 

I was sure Kura would've posted in here by now.

DEFFEH.


The schoolboy is an actual move already, it's like a variation of the one kid pushes 2nd kid over kid 3 whose on hands and knees behind them causing them to fall over.

but with only kid 2 and 3. and kid 3 pulls kid two backwards over them into a pinning predicament.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

http://www.c2i-international.com



And the plans are already in place to get there. It'll take a decade or so, but I'm on the right track - as soon as I quit this IT job and move to the next phase of the plan.

Re: Your Dream Job
 

Why is that your dream job then?