I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Ladies and gentlemen I would like to announce that I am now officially a member of the proletariat. As if being unemployed for the best part of the year wasn't enough, I now work on a production line sorting rubbish!

to commemorate this momentous occasion allow me to regale you with a tale about my first day as a member of the Underclass.

We begin around 3pm, yesterday afternoon when I recieved a phonecall from the job centre asking if I would be interested in a job in a recyling factory. Being willing to take any job I agreed for my CV to be sent to them so they can take a look.

I thought no more of it, as I didn't believe anything would come of it. But low and behold(!) I recieved a phonecall around 8:30pm (the 2nd phonecall to interrupt the football) and I was given the details.

It was minimum wage and the hours were 6am-2:30pm and 2:30pm-11pm. I was to work shifts of unusual hours. the joy, as I felt the indignation of being exploited by the greedy capitalist factory ownerwas rather unique.

He asked if I could start the next day. Not wishing to displease my new lord and master I agreed and it was arranged that I should be at the facility at 5:45am. this was a shock to the system and I had no idea how I was vo manage such a feat. I am used to living a certain lifestyle, getting up before 10am is not common so this was a challenge. So natuarally my first course of action was to forget about it.

And I did forget about it (trauma induced amnesia) until about 11:45pm. I decided to work out what time I should get up to be there on time. I set aside 30 minutes to wake up, have breakfast etc (normal things other people could do in 2 minutes it takes me at least 10 in the morning. I can just zone out in the mirror whilst cleaning my teeth for a weird amount of time) and 30 minutes to get there on time as I wasn't 100% sure where it was. I decided to get up at 4:45am. In (what I presume is) the the morning! I decided to go to bed immediatly to get as close to 5 hours sleep as possible, which went to hell as I was still awake at 1:15am. Nevertheless the morning came and m alarm went of an to my surprise I had no trouble getting up, I toyed with the idea of having an extra 10 minutes kip but didn't want to wreck the momentum that was gathering.

I left the house at 5:25am (10 minutes behind schedule) after making and eating beans on toast, cleaning my teeth and getting dressed in tracksuit trousers and a t-shirt. that took me 40 minutes, which was a good thing as the place is only 10 minutes from where I live so I would have been waiting for ages otherwise.

I got there 10 minutes earl and waited in the car for a bit before going in to see the boss. I was informed that he would be there shortly by some guy in a chair who didn't really seem to do or know anything. Standing for 10 minutes was irritating as I figured I would be spending the next 8 hours or so standing so I didn't want to waste any unnecessary leg energy. But then these capitalists do love a display of power and contempt for the working man.

I was given a reflective jacket and boots (I own only trainers and one pair of interview shoes) and was informed that I didn't need goggles as I wear glasses (a premise I reject in the same way that a jumper is not the same as a bullet-proof vest) and I was handed to the foreman and shown to my post.

At this point I didn't know what I was to do and I was still weary about the possibility of having to wade knee-deep in rubbish (which is why I brought a spare pair of socks). I was pleased to be placed at a place by a conveyer belt after the obligitory safety rules (don't do under, on or over the conveyer belt, basically don't do anythign stupid) and was given my intructions for the day. I was to pick up plastic things (bottles, food wrappers, bits of old toys etc) and drop them in a specific chute. I was all very easy and I felt up to doing something different after a long period of inactivity.

So the day went along and I found this tedious task not to be as painfully boring (or repellent) as you might expect, yes it was rather dirty and there were some pretty bad smells but on the whole, it was something to do. I think my attitude to the job was partially influenced by my youth and seeing games where you had to rummage through gunge and other assorted buildups to collect tokens and win prizes, Fun House springs to mind.

Everyone there seemed nice enough. there was a bit of banter and even a short game of ping pong with a couple of bats and a ball off the belt and everything was going well.

the most unexpected (though not realy unpredictable) event occured about 11am when a number of yells and jumps flew down the corridor Mexican Wave style to the end of the belt (i.e. me) where I repeated the actions of the other men (partly out of natural reactions and partly with wanting to fit in). there was a mouse scurrying down the belt and ran straight over the edge and down the chute where the unsorted filth goes. With that bit of excitment over we all returned to work.

All day I had a problem with my chute filling up and having to force it all down with a broom or a bin (by the end I couldn't push it down so left it for the next shift to sort out). It was partly becuase of first-day onvelities and the fact that that particular area wasn't being cleared throughout the day by whomever does that.

Dinner consisted of sausage and chips as I fogot my packed lunch that morning. then we went back to work. It was at this point that we had mouse alert No.2. this time, instead of letving it fall down the chute like the first mouse (which may have been this mouse for a second time) they decided to kill it with a broom. this idea was genius except for the nature of the device. All they managed to do was brush the mouse off the table and onto the floor upon which scene there was an almighty rumble through the room as if it was relased into an elephant sancuary. the mouse had landed on the floor and run out of the door (possibly to its inevitable death by jumping of the steps) and was not seen again.

All then was quiet and I returned to my trance like state brought on once again by Edith Bowman and childhood memories, until the end of the day. I went to see the boss and asked how how I found the work and if I wanted to come back tomorrow. I said I did and surly I shall return! tomorrow I shall arise at 5am to be in work by 6am and even though it's only been one day and I spent all day handling rubbish and I shall need a serious bath after every shift, I do like the job a surprising amount.

And the moral of the story is, if you read all of that you may need psychiatric help.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Fantastic.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

What's the minimum wage these days?

And welcome to the proletariat!

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I read all of that and I'm pleased you're working and getting money :)

I've done warehouse work before and while it can be quite tiring and dull, you are permitted to go off into your own little daydream while you go on autopilot. At least you get to listen to the radio while you do it.

When do you get your first pay packet? Also 6am sounds crappy but once you get into the rhythm of it I'm sure you'll be fine. I have to be up at 6am every day (to arrive at work at 8:30am) so I partly know how you feel.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

£5.35 or something I think.

I think it works out at £5.85 an hour for my first week because if I finish a whole week I get a £20 bonus. I think they get a rather high turnover there.

I'm hoping to stay there for 4 months or so and save up some money to study for my Masters degree.

Edit: tk: It's shifts. It's 6:00-2:30 one week and 2:30-11:00 the next, so I'm not sure how my body clock will deal with that but it shouldn't be too bad would imagine.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

5.35... ouch.

Do you get a % added to that when you work in the evning, after 1900 or so?

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I have no idea, but I wouldn't have thought so.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I think it went up to £5.48 like 2 years ago.

edit: Well that's what I was earning anyway.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

as far as i can find its £5.35 at the moment


and well done on the job, good luck at sticking with it :)

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Refuse collectors aren't members of what's traditionally defined as the underclass.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

It's what is known in the biz as 'Creative License' ;)

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

i work wierd shifts throughout the week, they vary from 7:00-3:30, 9:00-5:30 or 2:30-11:00, never a set shift for the week either, so it varys between the 3, also days off arent set either, its pretty gay, but to be honest you get used to it after a while. Well done on the job though :up:

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

It's 2007 dude.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I did when working for sainsburys....

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

and i do for working after 8pm, there again, i work for local government

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I work various shifts 7am-4pm, 10am-7pm, 2pm-11pm sometimes even have three days and go all three different shifts in a row. I do however get an extra $1 an hour working on Sundays.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

It's quite normal here (Norway) to be paid more per hour in the evnings, and then even more per hour during night hours. There is also bonuses for working at weekends and "holy days" like easter etc. That can be quite good money (a mate of mine got 300% for some days..), so perhaps you should check into that.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

good luck sticking to it.

i am suprisingly relieved on a personal level it didnt turn out as a complete travesty

(mainly as i dont think i can do an entire shift)

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

It was a joke (a very poor one) :(

1900 being the year, not the time.

If you need to explain a joke though, it's obviously unfunny. My streak of 29347 hilarious internet jokes comes to a crashing end :(

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

it's mighty tough to resist just getting in the car and driving off when you go out for your 9am break and it's a really sunny day and there's not a cloud in the sky. You think it's a crime to spend such a beautiful day working indoors and missing it alll.

then you realise that if you leave you'll just spend the day indoors in a darkend room all day, but you wont get paid.

:)

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Oh.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Quick Update: I quit.

It's not waking up at 5am, or realising how shit and repetitive Radio 1 actually is, or standing for nearly 8 hours a day (though that was a big part), it was the fact that I spend all day breathing this dirt in and it is making me feel really ill.

For example, when I clea my nose it is black, which is foul. It's in my ears, in my mouth, everywhere. Last night I felt like I was going to die. I really did.

Maybe I'm just a pussy and can't deal with any sort of working conditions which are slightly uncomfortable. So what? By good fortune I am capable of of doing other kinds of work and have the qualifications to prove it. I really thought I would be able to stick it out for 4 months but it was never meant to be.

they offer a £20 bonus if you last the week, which I was taking the piss. But after two days there I can see they have a really high turnover or workers.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

sux

maybe dante will let you join the proletariat now that youve got soot in your lungs

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

What qualifications do you have?

Have you tried just getting a job in an office or something? They're usually stupidly high paid for the work you do (filing & photocopying).

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

It's in the other thread but I'll repeat it (I like the attention :) )

I have my 2:2 history degree which supposedly counts for something. I have very little work (or life :( ) experiance.

I have spent all my life preparing to work in an office. I spend many hours a day perfecting the art of sitting at a PC. However, I have no formal qualification (E for GCSE It, but there is some justification behind that, different story though) but I am thinking of getting an RSA qualification to show how l33t I am. :cool:

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I only have a C in GCSE IT (as my teacher didn't really understand what was required for the coursework... all my other grades were A and A* :( ) and I now teach the subject. Heh. You don'tn eed a GCSE in it.

Stop beating yourself up about life/work experience. You don't need it for the majority of average-paid jobs.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Join the Navy.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

So, in summary:
Day 1: Sort of happy, not too bad, a bit smelly but overall ok.
Day 2: Much less happy, evil smells making you ill.
Day 3: Quit
?
That's really not that great :( - are you going to put it on your cv? it might be hard to explain.

Don't you get masks or something?

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

why aren't bin men in the proletariat?, and you'd have thought they'd give you a mask.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Purely in response to his looks if nothing else.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Why are you going for these sort of jobs if you have a degree ? :o

Can't you be a teacher with a history degree ? Where was this place back in Wales ?

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

this is all explained in another one of my self-indulgent threads.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

maybe he doesn't read all your threads.
He is employed and does not have 8-9 hours to kill everyday reading em.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Pfft! Who doesn't check to see if I ahve posted here as soon as they wake up and then reguarly through the day?

You are so nieve. ;)

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

It's what keeps me going.

I remember you moved to London, wasn't sure if you realised it was a dive and gone back to Wales yet !

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I'm back in Wales. I went to London on Monday and wa back by thursday evening. I was going to make a thread about it, but I forgot.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

How am I supposed to keep up all these changes without threads !?

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

btw, does anyonw know any good websites where I can find a job?

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

http://jobs.tes.co.uk/home.aspx :salute:

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Go **** a duck.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

tomkat is the new koen

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

They are.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

as all good public servants should be.

because they serve society.

like the police.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

tuc;dnr (too under class did not read}

I had thought that I was not part of the proletariat until corrected by Yahwe's instructive entry in this thread.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

I would also like to point out how shit Radio 1 actually is. When you put it on in the car for a few minutes you don't realy notice but when you listen to it all day for two days it becomes apparant how absolutly horredous it is.

I have no poblem with the presenters (even though the do the same sections every day) but every DJ plays the exact same song list (in a slightly different order) so if you listen to three DJ slots you will here the same selection of songs three times.

It's the same every day, with one or two changes as the week goes on, but it's all rather predictable. How people can listen to it al day is beyond me.

Despite all of this, all other radio stations in range manage to be even worse, with presenters (urge to kill, rising) who can't present and the bargin bin rejects of the 1980s.

thank god for mp3s.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

DJs at mainstream stations normally have fairly strict playlists determining what they can play, you arent going to ger much variation between programs. Why would you listen to non-internet music radio anyway?

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Because I only listen to radio in the car and in unavoidable situations (i.e. work). :banana:

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Cant you just put a CD player in your car/work.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

My CD player in my car doesn't work. I wasn't in a position to put on a CD during my 2 days of work.

Re: I'm A Big Boy Now
 

Well, that's not really got to do with being a prole, but yes.
Absolutley. And the armed forces who kill Iraqi's for that matter.