Just to let you know..
 

..the girl that you're with right now is the best thing you can afford. That's it. When you get a raise next year then get an upgrade and dump the bitch.

Also when she asks you how many kids you would want to have, dump her ASAP.

Don't say you love her after ****ing her. Either you **** her again the next day, or just never call her back.

There are no incentives for guys to get married, so don't even bother.

If you're on a date and she picks her phone up while having dinner with you, leave the restaurant right away and leave her with the check.

Always have separate tabs when on a date with her at a bar.

If you meet a girl and she gives you her cell number, tell her that you're going to call her cell phone right now so she can save your number on her cell. If the number that she gave you is someone else's, then call her a liar in her face and grab the drink that you bought for her.

Only buy her 1 cheap beer if you don't know her name yet.

Make it a point not to **** a girl at your house. Always **** her at her place. If she lives with mom and dad, then get a motel room.

Never take a girl out during the day. They're only good when it's dark outside.

Every word you say will be used against you and will be the determining factor of you getting laid or not on that first date. So don't engage in conversations. Just ask her questions about herself so she can keep blabbing about herself. You just keep nodding and act like you're listening.

A girl decides the first 15 seconds of the date if she's going to sleep with you or not. How much you spent on a date is not in her "I'm going to **** this guy tonight" equation. So don't bother spending big on a date. Be as cheap as possible.

Always wear a condom.

After hooking up with her, only call her on the week nights. You're always "busy" during the weekends so don't call her in those days. Just Monday to Thursday nights.

That is all. Thank you.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Right.

Thank you.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

So that's where I've been going wrong all this time.


Now if I could only get a date to test this gold mine of information out on...

Re: Just to let you know..
 

hmm.. i think ive done all thes mistaeks one itme ... lol... :p perphas i should leran, and get laid rmore ofteh.. ffs!!! being drunk for the 3rd tiem wthout getitng laid sucks!! ive lost it... damn! :(

Re: Just to let you know..
 

i use that one anyway

Re: Just to let you know..
 

quoted for truth

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Cheers Demi, I'll bear that in mind for the next time I'm about to screw up a relationship.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

If this is true (and although I'd dispute the 15 seconds bit, I certainly would never think spending money is going to help by itself) doesn't it go against your first point. Why is the woman I am with restricted to what I can afford if I'm going to be cheap bastard anyway?

Re: Just to let you know..
 

so demiGOD - how many prostitutes have you slept with this week?

Re: Just to let you know..
 

innumerable amounts.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

some people hold the belief that females are people too.

silly us :(

Re: Just to let you know..
 

I used to hold that belief.

Im more inclined to think that what hes saying may actually be true for meaningless flousies which is what we all want at the end of the day anyway!

Re: Just to let you know..
 

at the end of the day all I want is dominion over all mankind.

so stop presuming we're all as weird as you

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Not strictly true, the really expensive ones will lower their standards for a while, for the reason that 99.9% of men able to afford them are twice their age. Of course, you'll get your ass dumped the second one of the 0.1% comes along.
If she asks you this, she's probably just testing you. I've already named all of my children, and had already done so when I was single. I intend to remain childless for some time yet.
I don't see what is so profound about that. Most women recognise that that is not what a man wants to hear after a one night stand, why should a woman want to hear it?
Depends on how hot the bird is. If you need to put a ring on her finger to stop her leaving you to shag someone else, I recommend you do it.
What if she picks it up to cancel an incoming call? Or tells the hot girl on the other end to 'hold, while I ask my date if he wants to join in our threesome'?
Not if you want to have lots sex with her. Most girls won't have regular (or any) sex with someone they aren't dating. Most girls are put off dating a guy if he is too cheap to pay for a date.
In such a situation I would say I didn't have my phone on me. But I'd never be in that situation. Any girl polite or intelligent enough to be worth dating would decline the offer of being phoned by a stranger, or if you're too scary for that, would say 'how about you give me your number instead?'
And I hope she would run away without drinking the cheap beer bought for her by someone too rude to introduce himself, ask her name, and ask her what her choice of drink is before attempting to ply her with cheap alcohol that she probably doesn't like anyway. If you don't ask her name straight off, you're digging yourself into a hole anyway. At what point in the evening do you intend to ask 'errrrr...by the way, do you have a name?'
Not quite sure what you're getting at here.
See above.
I don't remember anything that was said on the last 'first date' I went on, so this is just bollocks.
This is all techically true. Except the last bit. And the first bit. That may well be decided before the date even starts. *When* she is going to put out (i.e. shag tonight, or make you wait for it) may be decided as late as 15 seconds before the sex happens.
Truth. If she wants kids, she'll poke holes in them anyway.
Assuming she even wants to hear from you again, I'm not sure how relevant the day on which you call her is. She'll ask you to go out on a weekend, and if you want more sex, you're gonna have to choose between saying 'yes that's fine, I have no other plans' and sounding like a loser, or saying 'no, I'm busy' and actually being a loser.
That's about 4 1/2 out of 14.

E-

Could do better.

Did some ugly bird stand you up then?

Re: Just to let you know..
 

He's parodying someone/something right? This isn't meant to be "real" advice...

Re: Just to let you know..
 

demiGOD is rather bitter at the present time. Yeah, I'm fairly sure it's real - can't you smell the rage and hatred?

Re: Just to let you know..
 

So demiGOD just broke up with his first girlfriend ?

Re: Just to let you know..
 

This is WAR!

Do not get terrorized by these females! Let's fight back and win this war!!

Re: Just to let you know..
 

To be fair, he's done well to type all of that if he's just lost an arm.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

You're kidding, right? And seeing it's all decided, what imaginary influence are you going to make your husband (or boyfriend) believe that he has?

The ring, combined with the wedding, will probably cost you as much as shagging an even hotter bird (pro) for the next few years (and most likely even more often, seeing how often most married man seem to get laid).

Only one set of tools. I really don't see why you'd want to make two holes at the same time with only one drill. (Note: If they are 'more' lesbian than straight, you'll end up feeling neglected with two girls who are enjoying themselves without your help aswell anyway).

At the exact same moment you realise you forgot to ask her her name. A more polite 'I'm sorry, but it seems I've totally forgotten to ask your name' would suffice in most cases. You can also be a true gentlemen, offer her the drink of her liking, ask her for her name, walk her to the door, be quiet, polite and steer the conversation in her direction so she can talk about herself and you can pretend to care. If you do so, however, atleast have the decency to put up the biggest smile you could possibly do during the whole night so that, seeing she'll know you're being as fake as the average 'hot girl' on a random chatbox, the rest of the crowd can atleast enjoy your david hasselhoff-esque way of hitting on a girl aswell.

Or the average option which is in between those two, making you either sound like a loser AND be a loser, or not sound like a loser NOR be a loser. It's a win/win scenario :P.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Well, I'm mostly indifferent about boys' names. I have a few definite 'no's, but apart from that, I'll yield on the naming of any sons.
Assume you want guaranteed disease-free. And that the hot bird is hot enough to want sex reasonably often.
Shall we do a quick straw poll on this?
Perhaps you're right. I shouldn't be encouraging people like GDers to masquerade as gentlemen, I'd should rather keep things as straightforward for the ladies as possible.
Or you could just call her whenever you actually are free, even if that is a Saturday. If you see her a few times she's gonna figure out how busy you are anyway, so assuming you aren't a genuine loser, it'll be fine, so there's no need for any pretense.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Thats as stupid a thing as I've ever heard.0

if they're more lesbian than straight you can spend the night running round trying to poke at a little brown.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Marriage is the price Men pay for sex, Sex is the price woman pay for marriage. :)

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Fair enough.

Guaranteed disease-free comes, with a pricetag (mostly lower than that of a wedding, see previous line of reasoning)

Fine by me, I'd ask you to limit it to the people who have actually experienced it though, which is impossible on the internet.

Agreed. I still believe calling the day after is a bad move though, no matter how busy you are on average. Hell, it'd be even worse if you're a very busy person. You'd call her the day after but you'd never have time to meet up.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

The 'when to call issue' is always quite tricky. It depends on the girl in question.

I maintain that you can't say 'never call her the next day', whatever. If you do that you immediately lose any girl who doesn't want to go out with someone who is too busy to make a 5 minute call to her, even if it's to say 'hey it'd be nice to meet up, I'm a bit busy for a few days, how about I call you later in the week?'

And eventually she's going to figure out if you were just playing it cool, at which point you lose any girl who doesn't like mindgames, leaving you only with girls who do.

The number of guys I see on the internet complaining about the mind****ing their gfs do, I think you bring it on yourselves, given that you start it.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

I'm doing a really crap job of the "I won't text/ring/chat to her for 72 hours" rule I'm trying to impose on myself right now :(

Re: Just to let you know..
 

nantoz, link me to your picture, nodrog insists in me admiring your apparent beauty too.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

You know heres the thing im cynical, god yes im cynical but this here some bullshit and a half. I dont have much of an idea about how old you are, what your occupation is/has been, education. In fact I dont know much about you but I know a few things about myself. Im addicted to women. Not sex. Not friendship, the whole package. I think ive been in a fair few situations so im going to take it upon myself to agree/disagree. For the record I am not a virgin (god I wish I was, so much easier back then)

A girl isnt like a car. From this opening line you seem to be looking for the wrong thing in a relationship. Going out with someone is purely not about sex, its about forming a bond and an understanding. This in my opinion potentially makes sex great

Why?

I had this conversation with my girl the other day. In fact I was the one who instigated it, she wants two kids and I want four. These are just numbers, I doubt we will marry for reasons out of my hands but we had the conversation, didnt scare either of us. As I grow older even though im relatively young in the scheme of things my thoughts pass to marriage and kids. Most women/girls I know have this preoccupying there mind. Women cant have kids past 40 effectively, men on the other hand can keep pumping it out. Perhaps this is why women start doing the kids talk? Can you blame them? Im ending one stage of my life soon and moving onto another, the next stage after that is wife and kids. Its on my mind and many others I know. If your not thinking about it well....your probably infertile.

What if you do love her? Then what? Having sex in my humble opinion is so much better when love is involved as opposed to just sex. Hell I have a right hand for that and £50 for when I get lazy.

Theres more than incentives. Spending time with someone who stimulates you mentally and physically. Being truly open with someone. Sex. Kids. Family. I could go on but you get the picture.

Now to a certain extent I agree here, its one of my pet hates people answering phone calls on dates or when they come to see you etc. However it most certainly isnt a reason to break up with her. Next time politely ask her to put her phone on silent or switch it off, thus overting the big over reaction?

Why? What difference does it make? You are being all manly here and bravado going "huh huh me man, me want sex" then be a man and pay for her drinks. You probably earn more money, you probably dont spend as much money as she does, treat her. After your first few dates then you can perhaps do what I do now and switch to a round system, even still treating a lady is never a bad thing.

Petty. Perhaps she doesnt like you and is being polite about it so as not to embarass you in a bar full of people. I would just laugh it off, take the hint and move on.

Once again why? Also what girls drink beer? Also what kind of places do you hang out in?

I fail to see what difference it makes to be honest, preference would be her place in my eyes as my room is always untidy and looks like a shit hole. If I want sex at mine it means I have to clean my room which I dont enjoy doing. However I dont really care about it. Also if shes living with her parents how old is she? 15?

Heres a hint you can slip rohypnol into there drinks in the day too.

Not only that but some of my best dates and memories have been during the day. Be it picnics, museums, zoos, walks, lunches etc etc etc. In fact day dates are normally the best as you arent wearing your beer goggles, she cant dress like a tart and you can see if she looks good as a normal person and doesnt have a body from baywatch and a face from crimewatch.

Bollacks. If your smart, funny and can hold a conversation I bet you would get laid more than if you sat there nodding your head like a little puppy. No one wants to shag a dog.

Yes and no. On the one hand I agree women make up there mind often before you eat/drink etc wether they will sleep with you, but I disagree thats in the first 15 seconds. Dont get me wrong first impressions are important but a fair few women I know plan when they are going to sleep with there dates not just decide on the moment. Not only that I would never have sex on the first date anyway. Dating is about getting to know a person not just ****ing them. If they find you attractive as a person not just sexually you will get more sex in the long run.

About the smartest thing you have said so far. Couldnt agree more. I have never had sex without a condom and I cant see myself doing so until im in a long term relationship or married.

What about sundays? This is a stupid rule, if you want to call her, call her. If you want to make her know your busy certain days/nights let her know. A prime example is my ex ex ex ex whatever girlfriend who I dated for two years. Friday night was hers, all hers. I would spend evening, nigh with hers. Then bang 10am next day I was out of there and she wouldnt hear from me until sun afternoon. She knew I had friends and football. I knew she had shopping and friends. We set the ground rules from day one.

Should we be thanking you or some chain email? Or some dating website? This seems like one hell of a angry rant against women and dating. If you think like this you will end up a lonely old man, or a wife beater. Either way it doesnt like good. Yes some women are bitches, but dont take it to heart. There are great women out there.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

my only response to this thread and to save me quoting truckloads of stuff:

misogyny: apply with caution

Re: Just to let you know..
 

That's utter nonsense, men don't play mindgames, try to act cool, fret about calling or end up coming on 'too strong' because they enjoy it.
Men just try to apply the lessons they've learned the hard way from women.

Women play the mind games. They also apply arbitary conditions on a guy which affect his chances of getting that "precious" gift of her company. They also don't make these conditions known to a guy, until he actually screws up. Then they jump out, shout 'GOTCHA!" and proceed to label him 'dumped'.

I'm sure we've all had the problem of calling 'too soon' in one particular girls book. Ruined.
Then we've had the problem of being seen to 'not call soon enough'. Ruined.
Then we've had the problem of seeming like we're "too interested". Ruined
Then we've had the problem of seeming too distant. Ruined

Women cause us to doubt ourselves and our actions, applying past advice which will usually never work on anyone but the person who gave it.

And all because you lot seem to be of the opinon you're all actually worth the effort.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Don't buy girls drinks.

Incidentally, I had two friends, a guy and a girl (who was really hot), who I also worked with (in the Marines - yes there are women in the marines) and those two were really close (as friends). The guy used to ask the girl to have guys buy her drinks for him. She'd start talking to a guy, and she'd ask for a drink and then take it to her friend.




(By the way, the forums have been slow as shit all day - moved servers?)

Re: Just to let you know..
 

this is one of the best threads in ages. not intentionally, like. it's just great to see the difference between people who get plenty (pig, jenny) and those who don't (hook, demiGOD, ICY)

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Hmmm, I'm not sure any of that has happened to me. Where I've "ruined" something it's generally by being a complete arsehole not by flouting some imagined convention.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Is it just me or is this drivel the only sort of thread demigod creates these days?

http://pirate.planetarion.com/search...earchid=300737

Oh look it wasn't just me.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

demigod recieved this shiz in a email didnt he:(

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Black people steal the TVs.

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They've upgraded and now instead of physically stealing them they just create appalling shows like Pimp My Ride which make you wish they had stolen them.

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The trouble is now they dye theblack people white so when they start speaking like they're from the hood you get thoroughly confused :(

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I've searched and searched in my anorak and I've never even found one negro :confused:

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Re: Just to let you know..
 

I made a long post replying to pig then firefox ****ing ****ed itself in the ****ing arse.

the ****.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

This is why I copy & paste when I type something very long. Just in case the browser ****s up.


Although my Opera never fails... unlike Firefox.

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Don't blame firefox, it's probably one of the millions of useless extension everyone is adding to it.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Actually it's not that I don't get any, I've had enough to make me sick of one nighters and short term things, it's more that I'd prefer a proper girlfriend about now.

And to be perfectly honest I'm not quite that bitter in reality. I just don't like the idea that men are being blamed for starting mind games when that's just not what I've seen in the real world. And I didn't even bother posting in this thread (I didn't think that pile of claptrap demiGOD posted warrented one) till it got 'good'.

Personally I think some people seem to naturally fall into things such as relationships or short term little flings (or nothing at all), it's when they try to get something else it all becomes complicated.
Mainly as the advice of "be yourself" means you gravitate towards whatever you seem to be predisposed to.
I have a friend who's been in relationships for the past 5 years, 1 year with one girl, 1 year with another and then 3 years just until recently with his ex. He's had all of 6 weeks singledom put together in that time. No idea how he meets people like that, he just does.

I on the other hand seem to be stuck with this short term fling thing, meet a girl, usually quite attractive, give it a "shot" (what the hell), end up out together for a couple of days/weeks, shag the brains out of each other (not always the case), then it just dies.

Plus we all know (and possibly have been) the people who just cant get anything.

My long term-er friend has recently tried to go the rebound-one-nighter route, which has gotten him nothing but a hot girl who wants to start a relationship.

I've tried, of late, to meet a nice girl, do all the right things, ensure it's not just some short term physical thing...but it ended up that way again.

I have another friend who's not had a girl (in any sense) in 5 years at least. He's just hanging in there praying his luck will change. I think he's just about given up trying.

We've all tried the advice of others who have been in the situation we've wanted. We've all ended up in some sort of hideous mess or mind game, which has ended in failure. We 'be ourselves' and it's gone back to the way it always is.


So can you change what you seem to be predisposed to? Or is it just a symptom of some personality traits that are engrained in your mind?

Are we doomed to our path?

Re: Just to let you know..
 

I wouldn't be shocked if i became an embittered old bachelor.

Re: Just to let you know..
 

Okay, i've put it on. Now what? :confused:

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Someone stole pig's account! :confused:

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Im a changed man, I swear!

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It was an overnight success changeover, am i rite?

Re: Just to let you know..
 

ye, I think I lost my balls somewhere